10 great reasons to have sex regularly when you are trying to conceive (even when its not your fertile time)

  1. It helps to relieve stress
  2. It increases intimacy between a couple
  3. It releases ‘feel good’ chemicals into your system
  4. It can improve the quality of the sperm by flushing out the old ones
  5. It is great form of exercise that raises your heart rate
  6. It can help you to sleep better
  7. Its better for you than than chocolate
  8. Its fun and makes you smile
  9. It increases your chances of conceiving
  10. Paradoxically the more often you have sex, the more you want to have sex ie if you don’t use it you may lose it

So next time you are thinking ‘its not the fertile time of the month, can I bothered ‘ just give it a go. You may be surprised how much you will enjoy it, and how much better you will feel afterwards.

The Fertility Focus Telesummit is underway. but there is still time to join in!

The second interview of the Fertility Focus Telesummit was mine, on how “Creating an Effective Support Network Can Make All the Difference When Trying To Conceive.” I’m really excited by the response I have had, with many listeners emailing me afterward to thank me and/or tell me that what I shared really resonated with them. The Telesummit is completely free to listen to the live presentations, and the replays for 24 hours after each interview. If you didn’t know about it before, it’s not too late to get involved.

The 2nd Fertility Focus Telesummit, created and moderated by Sarah Holland, is running this week.  Twelve fertility experts from around the world, and 3 fertility bloggers, are speaking throughout the week on various aspects of fertility health and support.  Sarah started things off on Sunday, the 20th of March, with an introduction to the Telesummit and an explanation of how to get the most out of it.

Yesterday, Monday the 21st, saw the first two interviews; Dr Marion Glenville spoke on the nutritional aspect of fertility health, giving much of her hour-long presentation over to listeners’ questions and providing really comprehensive responses.  The second interview of the evening was mine, on how “Creating an Effective Support Network Can Make All the Difference When Trying To Conceive.”  I’m really excited by the response I have had, with many listeners emailing me afterward to thank me and/or tell me that what I shared really resonated with them.

The Telesummit is completely free to listen to the live presentations, and the replays for 24 hours after each interview. If you didn’t know about it before, it’s not too late to get involved.  Click here to register for the Fertility Focus Telesummit FREE!  You can listen live, and submit questions for each of the speakers, or listen at your leisure to the recordings afterward.  If you are really busy this week and know you won’t be able to listen in, OR you just want to have all 17 audio files to refer to over and over, Sarah provides the option of upgrading to a Golden Ticket so you can purchase the whole Telesummit’s talks, which will be emailed to you as an MP3 file afterward. This is an incredible value, this week only while the Telesummit is running, at US$67, including several bonuses. You can find all the information at the Telesummit website.

Because I’m a bit late in letting you know about the Telesummit and my own presentation on creating a support network, I’d like to share some of that information with you here.  Having been through several challenging years of recurrent miscarriage and secondary infertility myself, I have the benefit of hindsight telling me that I really could have coped far better if I had been more proactive about getting myself, and my husband, the right balance of emotional and practical support.  Infertility put a big strain on our marriage, and I felt very alone and fearful that I would not be able to have the children I had always dreamed of having.  We are fortunate to have come through those rough times, and to have our two children.  Using my training and experience as a fertility coach, I have developed a system to help each of my clients create a support network for their unique needs, thus easing their experience of infertility and efforts to conceive and helping them to feel less isolated and stressed.

During the call, I explained:

  • Why infertility support is so important;
  • The 5 most essential types of support every infertile person needs;
  • Why your partner is not always the best source of support;
  • How you actually create your personal support network;
  • What you can do is someone you expected to be supportive has turned out to be the opposite; and
  • How to maintain a really effective support network over a long period of time.

I’m also offering a Free Bonus to Callers from the Telesummit! I’ve created a comprehensive Worksheet that takes you through the process of creating your own infertility support network, step by step. So, if you haven’t already registered, don’t let this opportunity pass you by.

I’m listening to the other speakers throughout the week myself. I have to say, I’ve been very impressed so far. I’ve learned a lot already from both Dr Glenville and Andrew Loosely, Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist. Other expert speakers during the week include Sarah Holland on using EFT for conception, Kristin Hayward, Zita West, Gabriela Rosa, Toni Weschler, Sue Dumais, Nicola Smuts, Deirdre Morris and Cindy Bailey. Then, you can listen to talks from 3 prolific bloggers, including the authors of “From IF to When,” “Eggs and Sperm” and “Survive and Thrive.” I’m really looking forward to the rest of the week.

Putting some fun back into Trying to Conceive

On the theme of fun this week-are you finding it fun trying to conceive ?

Sometimes the pressure of infertility, can cause us to stop enjoying the process.

Pleasure and enjoyment for both partners during sex may increase the chances of conceiving, and certainly stress can be a factor in unexplained infertility.

Ask yourself -What can you do to put the fun back into the whole business of conceiving

Remember when you were first a couple-what did you do then to set the mood for romance ?  Remember dating ?

Girls set your contrast to high-dress feminine & sexy. The more feminine you act & look, the more masculine he will feel .You will feel great and he will appreciate the effort. Get ready for an evening of romance the way you used to. Have a bath or shower, do your hair, wear perfume and body lotion. Put your make up on. Come on he’s worth it, and so are you.

Guys-have a shower, wash your hair, put clean clothes on. Get ready for a date. Your partner will apreciate the effort.

Schedule a date night at least once a week

Top Tips for putting some fun back into ttc

  1. Rather than saying ‘hey I’m ovulating so tonights the night’ just seduce him with your womanly ways and don’t mention the o word.
  2. Sexy underwear or negligees are far more effective than pyjamas when you are seducing him-you can always put the jammies on after if its cold
  3. Use a lubricant (make sure its a fertility friendly one)
  4. Consider using adult sex toys to add a bit of fun

Click here to see our range of discrete adult sex toys & lubricants

Do you want more intimacy with your man ?

Then don’t take him clothes shopping

This bank holiday Monday I visited Fosse park (along with half the county) which is a huge out of city shopping centre just on edge of Leicester. It has great shops, but boy was it busy.

I was in the enormous M & S having left my other half in the Costa coffee with his ipod. While shopping I noticed how many miserable looking men were being dragged round M& S, and being asked every few minutes ‘do you think this would suit me ‘ as there wife or girlfriend held up yet another dress, top or skirt. The look of abject misery & boredom on these poor guys faces was so obvious to any onlooker-why can’t us wives and girlfriends see it ?! I smiled to myself, as I realised that there was unlikely to be any intimacy or hanky panky between those couples that night, and the atmosphere was likely to be quite chilly. I thanked my lucky stars that there had been a Costa for dh to hang out in, and that he had brought his ipod (god he loves that thing)

I only recently learned not to take my dh shopping with me when I want to look at clothes for me. It dawned on me it was not fun for either of us, and we often argued afterwards.  He hates the whole process, and was simply humouring me. My moment of epiphany came when I started to go shopping with a girlfriend- it is so much more fun to shop with another women and such a relief to my dh. us gilrs can try on 20 items and end up buying none but we still have a huge amount of fun. This for most men is like having their toenails pulled out one by one-simply torture !

Next time you are in the womens department of a big store on a weekend or bank holiday , take a look at the men’s faces and you will see what I mean. I pity those poor men sat outside the M & S or John Lewis changing rooms.

Come on girls, take pity on your men folk-go shopping with a girlfriend, and leave the guys at home in peace

Makeing time for fun & games in the bedroom

What can you do to spice up your sex life and put some fun into trying to conceive

 I will post some ideas later

Post your ideas in comments

Ok I,m back-here goes

Here are my ideas for putting some va va voom back into the bedroom

Ideas for the bedroom itself-think sanctuary

1) Take the tv out of the bedroom-you want him to be looking at you not the sports channel-the only exception to this rule is if you are watching erotica together in bed

2) Take the computer out of the bedroom– if he is on his laptop in bed this is a definite no no for a sexy time-especially if he is working. You both need to relax before sleep and working on the computer late at night does not prepare the mind and body for sex or sleep-trust me I know this from personal experience

3) Make your bedroom a sanctuary for both of you-no piles of laundrey waiting to be put away or ironing board left out ! It should be a haven of peace and tranquility-for sex and sleep only !

4) Put some clean bedding on the bed-clean bedding smells so lovely & it feels great on your skin

5) Put some nice music on-I personally like the soundtrack from the film Notting Hill-it works every time-don’t ask me why. This is purely personal-but a soundtrack helps, choose one thats right for you

6) Turn the lighting down-halogen ceiling spotlights are not conducive to romance in my experience-gentle side lighting is much kinder-the hallogens show even the tiniest bit of cellulite up !

Ideas for you girls-think seductress

Preparation and spontanaity is key in my opinion. Now this may seem a contradiction in terms but bear with me, & I will explain:

1) Seduce him-rather than say to your guy-‘I’m ovulating and we ought to have sex tonight’ try seducing him-much more fun, and it will seem more spontaneous. No one likes being told what to do and this way is far more natural.

2) Preperation is key-have a long luxurious bubble bath before hand. Shave your legs , armpits etc. wash and condition your hair. Use a facial & or body scrub so your skin is glowing. Read or listen to chill out music in the bath to relax. Quite often a good chick novel can put you in the mood. (I must admit I like to have a bath every night-once you start it is quite addictive. The relaxation & pampering make you feel great. Added bonus is if your other half is feeling amorous your also feeling gorgeous & smelling great )

3) Dress seductively after your bath-make sure you have at least one sexy nightie in your drawer-it works every time-pyjamas just do not have the same effect-trust me on this. Apply some sexy nail polish to your toenails in red or shocking pink. Ditch the fluffy bathrobe & slippers unless it is really, really cold. Have a light spritz of perfume-not too much mind-you will be smelling great already after the bath-dont want to over do it !

4) Act seductively-after your bath apply body lotion to your legs, hands and feet. Do this in front of him making sure to do it as sexily as possible, even while he is watching TV-don’t laugh. Body langauge is very important in seduction. The message you are sending to your other half is that you are available for sex, and you do not have to say a word. You may think he is not watching you, but he is-I promise.

Hope you have enjoyed reading my ideas. Post your ideas in comments.

Phew think that is enough for today-next time we will talk about what you guys out there can do, the importance of early nights, how what you watch on tv can affect the quality of sex, sex toys & sex lubes etc

NEW Zestica Fertility Friendly Personal Lubricant

There is a great new lube for couples trying to conceive that has been show to not impede sperm. Many popular sexual lubricants can be harmful to sperm.

The new lubricant has been brought to the fertility market by a british company Burdica.

Click here for more info on Zestica fertility Lubricant

Trying to conceive tips from The Great Sperm Race show

I watched the show on Monday with my dh and made notes:

Here are some of the TTC tips for helping the sperm on their way that I wrote down. If you have any more please leave them in comments for us.

1) Have sex about every 2-3 days. there is no advantage to saving your sperm up. Fresh sperm are better than old sperm.

2) Avoid sperm hostile lubricants. The sperm can not swim as easily through them and may get stuck. Even saliva can be hostile to sperm.

3) Enjoying sex is important for both partners and may increase the chances of conception

4) When a man is highly aroused he ejaculates more sperm, so it is important to have ‘gourmet sex’ rather than just going through the motions.

5) Female orgasm is also though to be important and increases the chances of conception. It may work by altering the ph in the vagina to be more sperm friendly, and also by contractions that help the sperm on their way. Another older theory, and actually my favourite, is that after orgasm the female usually falls asleep, meaning that she stays horizontal and this may make the journey easier for the sperm.

6) Cervical mucus (CM) is very important as it allows the sperm to swim up into the cervix. For this the mucus needs to be stringy and of ‘egg white consistency’. This is what is known as fertile cervical mucus.

I hope you find these tips helpful.

If you missed the show it is worth watching on your computer-link in previous post.

By the way one of the shows narrators  Dr Joanna Ellington is a sperm physiologist. She with a colleague invented a product called Pre-Seed which is sperm friendly lubricant and also mimics fertile cervical mucus. Find out more about Pre-Seed here

Click here to buy Pre-Seed

The Great Sperm Race was excellent viewing

I watched it last night with dh and we both found it very informative & quite awe inspiring.

What those sperm go through to fertilise the egg is amazing. It is a true miracle of nature they even reach the egg. Good job I’m not a sperm-I think I would give up at the start-lol

Dr Ellington (Sperm Physiologist & CEO of ING Fertility the makers of Pre-Seed) was one of the narrators and did a great job.

If you missed the programme you can view it online at channel 4-link below

Watch The Great Sperm Race online

The Great Sperm Race is on TV tonight-‘wild energetic sex is key to conception’

Channel 4 9pm tonight-make sure you watch it-sounds fun

Here is what The Observer newspaper said yesterday about the show:

‘Wild, energetic sex is key to conception’

Men usually produce about 250 million sperm during intercourse. But those who are fully stimulated because they are enjoying “gourmet sex” will ejaculate up to 50% more than that, according to research revealed in a Channel 4 documentary tomorrow. An extra five minutes of sexual activity before ejaculation can produce an extra 25 million sperm, said Pacey. That, plus the fact the extra sperm released are of a higher standard, means there is a greater chance of the sperm and egg fusing to create a new life.

“The better the sex, the better the chances of conception,” Dr Joanna Ellington, an American expert in reproductive physiology, says in the programme, The Great Sperm Race. “One of the things that men don’t realise is that the more excited they are, the further back in the testicle they are going to draw on reserves [of sperm]. So if you have what I call ‘gourmet sex’, where you really spend time and you make it fun for both partners, that is going to make the man more stimulated and he is going to ejaculate more and healthier sperm.”

Click here to read the full article

Lets do something nice for ourselves today girls

I always find February one of those months when I need a perk up.

This winter seems to have gone on a long time. Ideally we could all probably do with a 2 weeks in the sun somewhere lovely ideally with long white sandy beaches, being waited on.

If like me your budget does not stretch to that, then there are simpler & cheaper way to give yourself a much needed boost.

Here are my ideas & suggestions for getting a holiday feeling at this time of year

1) make the most of any sunshine we do get

  • walk outside on sunny days even if its just for 15 minutes & leave those sunglasses at home.We need to see the sun at this time of year in UK.
  • If its snowy get out and have some fun in the snow-who needs a sking holiday, not me. If you have kids take them sledging, build a snow man, have a snow ball fight-it is such fun. Get in touch with your inner child

2) Get some exercise

  • do some aerobic exercise-swim, run, cycle, gym, walk briskly,take a class-just get your heart pumping. the feel good hormones released (endorphins)will make you feel so great
  • sex is great exercise and certainly releases those feel good hormones if your doing it right

3) Pamper Yourself

  • treat yourself to a home facial or if the finances stretch to it go to a salon, lets brighten up our grey winter complexions.use a facial scrub to remove dead skin cells and give yourself a healthy glow
  • give yourself a home manicure & pedicure & the apply hand & foot cream. i always feel so much better when my hands look good & cared for-it won’t be long before were wearing sandals( I promise) so lets get our feet looking pretty now. Get rid of all that dry cracked skin
  • lets shave our legs, underarms etc. if your finances stretch to it you could get a waxing done. I feel so much sexier with hairless legs & underarms.
  • moisturise, moisturise, moisturise-at this time of year our skin can get very dry-too much time spent in doors with central heating & cold weather and little sun. Aplly moisturisers morning and evening. I love to apply body butter to my feet after my bath in the evening & the put my fluffy bed socks on-I wake up with lovely soft feet
  • get your hair done-nothing picks me up like having my colour done. Consider having a colour or restyle. Try something new
  • tidy up those eyebrows-the weirwolf look does not suit anyone. If you can’t face doing them your self, go to a salon. It is quick, easy and cheap to have it done and in my opinion worth every penny. You will look so much more alert and then you can usually keep on top of them yourself for several months after.

Make time to relax

  • enjoy a long soak in the bath in the evening. it helps to relax you ready for sleep. I like to use scented bubble baths,and light candles
  • enjoy a good read-we often read on holiday so why not do it at home. I like to read chick lit in the bath every night-pure escapism
  • listen to relaxing music or a relaxation cd-make a playlist of your favourite chill out songs
  • watch favourite films-whatever is your favourite-I personally favour chick flicks-I will put some film recomendations in another post. I love to watch film on a sunday afternoon in winter with a blazing fire and a pot of tea & home baked cakes-yum. i also like to watch films in the evnings-I find all the adds on commercial tv so stressful
  • avoid watching the news if you want to relax-they so rarely report good news

Girls-what have you got planned for Valentines day ?

I have just booked a table for DH and myself to go out for dinner just the two of us for a romantic meal.

Just hoping his cold gets better !

 My thinking was a long hot soak in tub before we go out for both of us, dress to impress (sexy underwear-the works), romantic candelit  dinner & wine for two, and then home for an early night and some loving.

I have got him a small valentines gift which is a dvd of his favourite comedian-they do say laughter is the best medicine (we will get rid of that cold)

Plan something special for your sweetie, to show them how much you love and appreciate them.

If you want to buy yourself a little gift for valentines day that will help you understand your other half better I can highly reccomend the ‘men are from mars women are from venus’ books by John Gray. I love them and find they help me to understand my dh & vice versa. I have most of them on my ipod as a audiobook.

Whatever you decide to do for valentines day-be kind to each other and show your sweetie how much you love and appreciate him

Will daily sex cure a low libido?

Just read this really good honest article about sex in marriage.

If your sex life is flagging I highly reccommend reading this

Two years ago, my wife and I made it our new year’s resolution to have sex every day. The reason was simple. Utterly worn out by the arrival of our first child, we had pretty much stopped having sex. I was 33, she was 30, and our erotic life needed not so much a jump-start as electrotherapy.

Read the full article and the results of their sexperiment here http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article5598881.ece

Putting the fun back into Trying to Conceive

Successful conception generally involves sex although not always . If you are struggling to keep the fun in trying to conceive or just need a little boost to get you going, then have you thought about using adult sex toys and /or marital aids to liven things up a bit.

 Everyones sex life hits a rut at some time or other, and if it is taking you longer than you had hoped to conceive, this can sometimes lead to added stress and pressure around sex.

Tips to keep it fun

1) Keep it relaxed-maybe have a date,  cook a meal together beforehand or watch a romantic or erotic film together

2) Relax before hand-wind down with a hot bath, scented candles maybe and /or a glass of wine

 3) Go to bed early-if you are rarely in bed before 11pm you are probably both too tired to make the effort & have rewarding sex

 4) Consider buying some adult erotica to read in bed to get you in the mood-you could read it together or have one each. Some Borders book shops now have an adult erotica section.

5) Use a lubricant for foreplay and penetrative sex if dryness is a problem (which it can be for many women) When trying to conceive we recomend Pre-Seed sperm friendly lubricant as this is the only lubricant clinically proven not to harm sperm or impair their motility. Pre-Seed works by mimicing cervical mucus.

6) Consider the use of sex toys or marital aids to increase the pleasure & arousal for both partners. There are now quite an extensive choice of sex toys for both men and women to use together. Studies have shown that female orgasm may in fact increase the chances of the women conceiving, as well as increasing her enjoyment of sex. Male orgasm is of course pretty crucial to succesful conception.

 Click here to check out a range of sex toys and marital aids all supplied fast and discretely

Click here to find out more about Pre-Seed sperm friendly lubricant

Sexy underwear-does it improve your sex life ?

As it is Saturday I decided to blog on something fun.

I have recently come to believe that sexy underwear is a great moral booster for women. It used to be that matching knickers and bra were quite pricey and maybe just for special occaisons.

Now all the supermarkets sell the most wonderful glamourous underwear & at just a few pounds per item, there is no excuse for not treating yourself to some lovely lacy matching underwear sets. Marks and Spencers has a wonderful range of sexy underwear at reasonable prices. For best value for money you can’t really beat Asda and Tesco’s underwear ranges

I recently read in a survey of men that sexy underwear does not make a huge difference to how attractive they find us. However it does make a huge difference to how we feel about ourselves, and that in itself can affect ones attractiveness to the opposite sex.

Lets face it if you feel sexy you act sexy-so come on girls were worth it!

Lets get some new matching underwear sets and chuck out the grotty old ones-you know the ones I mean.

Lets get some fun & glamour back into our underwear drawers, and in to the bedroom !

Sex in marriage and sexless marriages

Just read this really fascinating article online in the Times about speculation as to why Guy Ritchie and Madonna have split up. 

It seems for many of us, our modern lifestyles may be burning us out, and leading to a lack of action in the bedroom for many couples. It can even affect celebrities!

There is also a book recomendation for spicing up your love life and keeping sex going. I recommend reading the whole article (link below). When we are trying to conceive the sex is obviously crucial.

I believe an active & fulfilling sex life is very important to keep a couple close, especially when trying to conceive. In my opinion sex should be fun and it is important to keep it such.  As I often say to my female friends ‘If you don’t use it you lose it’

Here is an extract from the article

In my 20-year experience as a psychologist, life coach and sex expert, I have found that people within a relationship invariably use sexual activity – and their sexual desire for their partner – as a way of measuring how much they care for each other. The bedroom becomes a litmus test, be it a battleground or an unspoken arena of seething resentment.

And with our increasingly frenetic modern lifestyles – our obsessions such as exercise, long working hours, material success and lots of unhealthy socialising – opportunities for resentments to fester abound. At some level our sexual feelings are intact (which is why we get so hung-up, hurt, and bitter over a lack of sex) and yet we have no sexual energy left for our partners.

For my new book, Sizzling Sex, I spent three years gathering information from more than 400 people and what I found was astounding: 90 per cent won’t have tried anything new sexually – not even the tiniest little thing – since about their first anniversary. Plus, once they are past the two-year mark, they are unlikely to ever try anything new.

 Click here to read the full article