10 great reasons to have sex regularly when you are trying to conceive (even when its not your fertile time)

  1. It helps to relieve stress
  2. It increases intimacy between a couple
  3. It releases ‘feel good’ chemicals into your system
  4. It can improve the quality of the sperm by flushing out the old ones
  5. It is great form of exercise that raises your heart rate
  6. It can help you to sleep better
  7. Its better for you than than chocolate
  8. Its fun and makes you smile
  9. It increases your chances of conceiving
  10. Paradoxically the more often you have sex, the more you want to have sex ie if you don’t use it you may lose it

So next time you are thinking ‘its not the fertile time of the month, can I bothered ‘ just give it a go. You may be surprised how much you will enjoy it, and how much better you will feel afterwards.

The Fertility Focus Telesummit is underway. but there is still time to join in!

The second interview of the Fertility Focus Telesummit was mine, on how “Creating an Effective Support Network Can Make All the Difference When Trying To Conceive.” I’m really excited by the response I have had, with many listeners emailing me afterward to thank me and/or tell me that what I shared really resonated with them. The Telesummit is completely free to listen to the live presentations, and the replays for 24 hours after each interview. If you didn’t know about it before, it’s not too late to get involved.

The 2nd Fertility Focus Telesummit, created and moderated by Sarah Holland, is running this week.  Twelve fertility experts from around the world, and 3 fertility bloggers, are speaking throughout the week on various aspects of fertility health and support.  Sarah started things off on Sunday, the 20th of March, with an introduction to the Telesummit and an explanation of how to get the most out of it.

Yesterday, Monday the 21st, saw the first two interviews; Dr Marion Glenville spoke on the nutritional aspect of fertility health, giving much of her hour-long presentation over to listeners’ questions and providing really comprehensive responses.  The second interview of the evening was mine, on how “Creating an Effective Support Network Can Make All the Difference When Trying To Conceive.”  I’m really excited by the response I have had, with many listeners emailing me afterward to thank me and/or tell me that what I shared really resonated with them.

The Telesummit is completely free to listen to the live presentations, and the replays for 24 hours after each interview. If you didn’t know about it before, it’s not too late to get involved.  Click here to register for the Fertility Focus Telesummit FREE!  You can listen live, and submit questions for each of the speakers, or listen at your leisure to the recordings afterward.  If you are really busy this week and know you won’t be able to listen in, OR you just want to have all 17 audio files to refer to over and over, Sarah provides the option of upgrading to a Golden Ticket so you can purchase the whole Telesummit’s talks, which will be emailed to you as an MP3 file afterward. This is an incredible value, this week only while the Telesummit is running, at US$67, including several bonuses. You can find all the information at the Telesummit website.

Because I’m a bit late in letting you know about the Telesummit and my own presentation on creating a support network, I’d like to share some of that information with you here.  Having been through several challenging years of recurrent miscarriage and secondary infertility myself, I have the benefit of hindsight telling me that I really could have coped far better if I had been more proactive about getting myself, and my husband, the right balance of emotional and practical support.  Infertility put a big strain on our marriage, and I felt very alone and fearful that I would not be able to have the children I had always dreamed of having.  We are fortunate to have come through those rough times, and to have our two children.  Using my training and experience as a fertility coach, I have developed a system to help each of my clients create a support network for their unique needs, thus easing their experience of infertility and efforts to conceive and helping them to feel less isolated and stressed.

During the call, I explained:

  • Why infertility support is so important;
  • The 5 most essential types of support every infertile person needs;
  • Why your partner is not always the best source of support;
  • How you actually create your personal support network;
  • What you can do is someone you expected to be supportive has turned out to be the opposite; and
  • How to maintain a really effective support network over a long period of time.

I’m also offering a Free Bonus to Callers from the Telesummit! I’ve created a comprehensive Worksheet that takes you through the process of creating your own infertility support network, step by step. So, if you haven’t already registered, don’t let this opportunity pass you by.

I’m listening to the other speakers throughout the week myself. I have to say, I’ve been very impressed so far. I’ve learned a lot already from both Dr Glenville and Andrew Loosely, Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist. Other expert speakers during the week include Sarah Holland on using EFT for conception, Kristin Hayward, Zita West, Gabriela Rosa, Toni Weschler, Sue Dumais, Nicola Smuts, Deirdre Morris and Cindy Bailey. Then, you can listen to talks from 3 prolific bloggers, including the authors of “From IF to When,” “Eggs and Sperm” and “Survive and Thrive.” I’m really looking forward to the rest of the week.

Make the time to fill yourself up

Hi everyone,

Hope you’ve had a good spring/Easter break.

 I have had a couple of days at the coast and while I was there I listened to the great John Gray on my ipod. I have all his audio books downloaded from itunes. I love to listen to them on long journeys.

This holiday I have been listening to ‘when mars and venus collide’ which gives great insite into why men and women fall out and how to avoid fights .

A big part of this is not expecting your man to ‘fill you up’. We need to learn how to fill ourselves up and not to expect our partners to do this for us.

There is a list of about 100 ways to do this and they are all fun.

Here are some examples:

  • take a long soak in the bath
  • talk with girlfriends
  • have a manicure or pedicure
  • have a facial
  • have a massage
  • read a good book

I highly recomend the book-a great listen for a long journey

Is eating in the new going out ?

I have heard this phrase bandied about quite a lot recently as a credit crunch beating tip.

 I must admit we have cut down on how often we eat out as have many of my friends, & we do all tend to go for special offers & deals such as early birds or lunchtime offers.

I do like to have one night off cooking at least once a week. We used to go out but recently i have been buying the meal deals from wither M&S or Tesco. You know the ones-dine in for 2 for £9-£10 (including bottle wine and desert) 

 M&S started the trend & Tesco quickly followed. M&S even did a meal deal for 4 for mothers day-what a good idea-my brother bought one to cook for his wife & kids (he rarely cooks)

 My dh is a great cook-much better than me, but I do most of cooking in the week & I like a night off. For the last 6 weeks or so I have added a meal deal to my weekly shop, and we have not been out in the evening for a meal since Valentines day ! We are loving it so far and we are saving about £30 a week by not eating out that one evening a week!

We have been out for lunch which is usually much cheaper. I am a huge believer in making time to date your partner. For one the chances of having sex are greatly increased after you have been out for dinner or had a relaxing ‘date at home’

These dine in for two are a great stress free way of having a romantic meal in with no stress. There is very little washing up & they offer really excellent value for money.

Lets do something nice for ourselves today girls

I always find February one of those months when I need a perk up.

This winter seems to have gone on a long time. Ideally we could all probably do with a 2 weeks in the sun somewhere lovely ideally with long white sandy beaches, being waited on.

If like me your budget does not stretch to that, then there are simpler & cheaper way to give yourself a much needed boost.

Here are my ideas & suggestions for getting a holiday feeling at this time of year

1) make the most of any sunshine we do get

  • walk outside on sunny days even if its just for 15 minutes & leave those sunglasses at home.We need to see the sun at this time of year in UK.
  • If its snowy get out and have some fun in the snow-who needs a sking holiday, not me. If you have kids take them sledging, build a snow man, have a snow ball fight-it is such fun. Get in touch with your inner child

2) Get some exercise

  • do some aerobic exercise-swim, run, cycle, gym, walk briskly,take a class-just get your heart pumping. the feel good hormones released (endorphins)will make you feel so great
  • sex is great exercise and certainly releases those feel good hormones if your doing it right

3) Pamper Yourself

  • treat yourself to a home facial or if the finances stretch to it go to a salon, lets brighten up our grey winter complexions.use a facial scrub to remove dead skin cells and give yourself a healthy glow
  • give yourself a home manicure & pedicure & the apply hand & foot cream. i always feel so much better when my hands look good & cared for-it won’t be long before were wearing sandals( I promise) so lets get our feet looking pretty now. Get rid of all that dry cracked skin
  • lets shave our legs, underarms etc. if your finances stretch to it you could get a waxing done. I feel so much sexier with hairless legs & underarms.
  • moisturise, moisturise, moisturise-at this time of year our skin can get very dry-too much time spent in doors with central heating & cold weather and little sun. Aplly moisturisers morning and evening. I love to apply body butter to my feet after my bath in the evening & the put my fluffy bed socks on-I wake up with lovely soft feet
  • get your hair done-nothing picks me up like having my colour done. Consider having a colour or restyle. Try something new
  • tidy up those eyebrows-the weirwolf look does not suit anyone. If you can’t face doing them your self, go to a salon. It is quick, easy and cheap to have it done and in my opinion worth every penny. You will look so much more alert and then you can usually keep on top of them yourself for several months after.

Make time to relax

  • enjoy a long soak in the bath in the evening. it helps to relax you ready for sleep. I like to use scented bubble baths,and light candles
  • enjoy a good read-we often read on holiday so why not do it at home. I like to read chick lit in the bath every night-pure escapism
  • listen to relaxing music or a relaxation cd-make a playlist of your favourite chill out songs
  • watch favourite films-whatever is your favourite-I personally favour chick flicks-I will put some film recomendations in another post. I love to watch film on a sunday afternoon in winter with a blazing fire and a pot of tea & home baked cakes-yum. i also like to watch films in the evnings-I find all the adds on commercial tv so stressful
  • avoid watching the news if you want to relax-they so rarely report good news

Putting the fun back into Trying to Conceive

Successful conception generally involves sex although not always . If you are struggling to keep the fun in trying to conceive or just need a little boost to get you going, then have you thought about using adult sex toys and /or marital aids to liven things up a bit.

 Everyones sex life hits a rut at some time or other, and if it is taking you longer than you had hoped to conceive, this can sometimes lead to added stress and pressure around sex.

Tips to keep it fun

1) Keep it relaxed-maybe have a date,  cook a meal together beforehand or watch a romantic or erotic film together

2) Relax before hand-wind down with a hot bath, scented candles maybe and /or a glass of wine

 3) Go to bed early-if you are rarely in bed before 11pm you are probably both too tired to make the effort & have rewarding sex

 4) Consider buying some adult erotica to read in bed to get you in the mood-you could read it together or have one each. Some Borders book shops now have an adult erotica section.

5) Use a lubricant for foreplay and penetrative sex if dryness is a problem (which it can be for many women) When trying to conceive we recomend Pre-Seed sperm friendly lubricant as this is the only lubricant clinically proven not to harm sperm or impair their motility. Pre-Seed works by mimicing cervical mucus.

6) Consider the use of sex toys or marital aids to increase the pleasure & arousal for both partners. There are now quite an extensive choice of sex toys for both men and women to use together. Studies have shown that female orgasm may in fact increase the chances of the women conceiving, as well as increasing her enjoyment of sex. Male orgasm is of course pretty crucial to succesful conception.

 Click here to check out a range of sex toys and marital aids all supplied fast and discretely

Click here to find out more about Pre-Seed sperm friendly lubricant

Is there a secret to staying madly in love ?

Scientists think so.  I just read this article online and wanted to share it with you.

 Here is an extract from the article:

Despite our deep need for lifelong love, scientists have done little to study the phenomenon.

One survey of 50 couples married for 55 years, in the International Journal of Ageing and Human Development, says that they most value Independence, commitment, companionship and caring.

But political skills may play a big role, too. John Gottoman, a Washington University psychologist, told the American Association for the Advancement of Science how his study of 600 couples created a 94 per cent true test of love’s longevity: the ratio of positive to negative comments during a row (i.e. “that’s a good point, dear”, versus “you idiot”). Positive words must outnumber the negative by five to one. Below this, trouble looms.

Click here to read the full article

Sexy underwear-does it improve your sex life ?

As it is Saturday I decided to blog on something fun.

I have recently come to believe that sexy underwear is a great moral booster for women. It used to be that matching knickers and bra were quite pricey and maybe just for special occaisons.

Now all the supermarkets sell the most wonderful glamourous underwear & at just a few pounds per item, there is no excuse for not treating yourself to some lovely lacy matching underwear sets. Marks and Spencers has a wonderful range of sexy underwear at reasonable prices. For best value for money you can’t really beat Asda and Tesco’s underwear ranges

I recently read in a survey of men that sexy underwear does not make a huge difference to how attractive they find us. However it does make a huge difference to how we feel about ourselves, and that in itself can affect ones attractiveness to the opposite sex.

Lets face it if you feel sexy you act sexy-so come on girls were worth it!

Lets get some new matching underwear sets and chuck out the grotty old ones-you know the ones I mean.

Lets get some fun & glamour back into our underwear drawers, and in to the bedroom !

Sex in marriage and sexless marriages

Just read this really fascinating article online in the Times about speculation as to why Guy Ritchie and Madonna have split up. 

It seems for many of us, our modern lifestyles may be burning us out, and leading to a lack of action in the bedroom for many couples. It can even affect celebrities!

There is also a book recomendation for spicing up your love life and keeping sex going. I recommend reading the whole article (link below). When we are trying to conceive the sex is obviously crucial.

I believe an active & fulfilling sex life is very important to keep a couple close, especially when trying to conceive. In my opinion sex should be fun and it is important to keep it such.  As I often say to my female friends ‘If you don’t use it you lose it’

Here is an extract from the article

In my 20-year experience as a psychologist, life coach and sex expert, I have found that people within a relationship invariably use sexual activity – and their sexual desire for their partner – as a way of measuring how much they care for each other. The bedroom becomes a litmus test, be it a battleground or an unspoken arena of seething resentment.

And with our increasingly frenetic modern lifestyles – our obsessions such as exercise, long working hours, material success and lots of unhealthy socialising – opportunities for resentments to fester abound. At some level our sexual feelings are intact (which is why we get so hung-up, hurt, and bitter over a lack of sex) and yet we have no sexual energy left for our partners.

For my new book, Sizzling Sex, I spent three years gathering information from more than 400 people and what I found was astounding: 90 per cent won’t have tried anything new sexually – not even the tiniest little thing – since about their first anniversary. Plus, once they are past the two-year mark, they are unlikely to ever try anything new.

 Click here to read the full article

Keeping the Romance Alive When Trying to Conceive

Last night I went out with a group of girls, and the talk turned to men and relationships as it often does when groups of women get together with no men, no kids and lots of alcohol. We were discussing how important it is to keep the romance alive, when you have been together for a while.

Trying to conceive can be a fun and exciting time for many couples-for many it is the first time they have been able to have sex without using contraception-the novelty of this alone can add to the romance, let alone the excitement of creating a new life. If conception occurs quickly ie within 3-4 months the whole process is fairly stress free, but when conception takes longer it can become a cause of stress and disapointment for some couples, which may start to take the fun out of it.

When I was trying to conceive my first child I assumed wrongly that as soon as we stopped using contraception I would conceive, after 3-4 months of trying I was starting to get anxious and insisted that my partner took a male fertility test (with hindsight I did rush him into a bit-but being an obliging chap he took it, and it came back normal much to our relief !) We then carried on with the serious business of making babies while having fun at the same time.

Last night my friends and I talked at length about keeping the romance alive in a relationship, and the importance of ‘dating your partner’

Plan a date with your partner ideally at least once a week-take the time to be together, just the two of you, as if you were on a date. You do not actually need to go out. We have had many date nights at home which have been just as good and a lot cheaper. Here are the some suggestions for dates:

  • Meal out in the evening-just the two of you-get dressed smartly, do your make-up etc, make it special
  • Watch a film together-choose something you both like, either at the cinema or on dvd/video. Make a proper date of it. If you have kids get them to bed first or get a babysitter if you are going to cinema. We like to have popcorn or chocolates-sometimes both but I’m just greedy !
  • Cook a meal together at home. If you have kids feed them and get them settled 1st. Choose something nice and easy to cook but that is a bit special-in our house steaks are always a favourite for a date night meal, served up with a really large salad and a glass of wine. Cooking together in a relaxed way can be very bonding. Make an effort with your appearance as you would do if you were going on an outside date.
  • Go on a walk together, just the two of you-ideally somewhere beautiful and on a sunny day if possible-really lifts your spirits, as well as being great exercise-a proven stress buster
  • Sit out on a sunny evening togther, maybe with a glass of wine-just the two of you and chat about your passions, fun things you have done together and stuff you would like to do together
  • Go to a posh coffee bar for lattes/ cappucinos-whatever your favourite tipple is, and chat and just watch the world go by together
  • Meet for lunch somewhere nice & talk about all the good things in your life
  • On a clear night go outside and stare & wonder at the stars together
  • Take up a hobby together-ideally something that you can both be passionate about-it gives a shared interest & something to you can talk about together when you are on your dates ! As they say ‘variety is the spice of life’

These are just a few of the suggestions we came up with, I’m sure you can all come up with lots more

Home fertility tests, ovulation tests, ultra early pregnancy tests, fertility friendly personal lubricants and lots of fertility products are available from Access Diagnostics UK fertility site