The silent infertility

You spend all your youth trying not to get pregnant, then when you want to its not easy.
It comes as a surprise that you would face challenges.
Women having children later in life face this dilemma and you didn’t even know until you went looking.

Who knew that when you have found “the one” decided to have a family that your life would be turned upside down and you would begin a journey into a world filled of waiting, not knowing, and becoming a statistic where success rate is a lottery, funding is a postcode and tests just become integrated into your daily life.

What else in the world would you choose to gamble your life and money on, especially when it’s something that is not guaranteed?

When desperation takes over it’s an addiction that not even you have control of.

When you’re a young girl growing up you dream of the “fairytale” meet your handsome prince, fall
In love and live happily ever after.
You assume you will get married and have your own family. You take for granted it’s a given, you might even know the names.
You talk about what they will look like, who they will take after, how your life will be.
It’s accepted that you will be “older parents” but you see the positives in this. You’re more mature, financially more stable, you’ve grown older, more life experiences the list is endless.
All this seems perfectly normal, why would it be any different? Why would you ever think you would be faced with challenges.

Imagine being 34 and being told you have a lower than normal egg reserve caused by ovarian failure. What does that mean? How is it caused? How long has it been like this? The result; less than a 1% opportunity of natural conception.
There are no explanations no medical reasons just “one of those things” unexplained infertility is the medical term.

When you get told something like that it’s like a blow to the head, knife deep in your heart and makes you so incredibly angry followed by why me? Why not I guess?

You feel a failure as a woman, it’s your right isn’t it? if you want it of course. There are days and hours going over what ifs’ but nothing changes it. There is no resolution its not helpful just leaves you drained, more angry and even more unanswered questions.

Sadly on this situation those questions never get any answers.

You don’t need sympathy or words of wisdom just often a little understanding.

How many times has somebody said to you “just have IVF” like its a prescription for a headache and will take the pain away and the problem will be solved.

Why is it so misunderstood? Why as a nation are we misinformed? How are we in a position where if you’re ill you take medication, break a leg and it gets fixed, but infertility is still a taboo subject.

How many women are walking around not knowing anything about there fertility. How many of us have endometriosis and have not had a single symptom? It takes 7 years for somebody to be diagnosed, be which time the damage has been done.

How many women have had to push for testing, researched themselves and demanded more answers? This is the journey, this is what we go through but why don’t we know?

Along my journey from finding out about the low reserve, I found out about endometriosis but not because of symptoms because I pushed for a laporoscapy to look at other areas and there it was. “The hidden fertility killer”
Knowledge is power and we need more awareness that when your in your 20’s your body is more likely to find conception easier but the older we become the more challenging it is.

Should your fertility be tested? Much like you are for smear tests, would this then provide you with choices to make an informed decision?

I know if this had been available to me I would have done things differently, it may have still been the same outcome.

So you get on the roller coaster and you start the journey of IVF.

Little do you know that it’s not always successful.

Amy Marner’s Summer Newsletter (2012)

Life Upgrade Expanded

I had a great time on the Life Upgrade Expanded course in May.  It was wonderful to finally be able to attend and meet lots of new people (and old friends).  The weekend was uplifting and inspiring however not without it’s uncomfortable moments.  But then that’s what Life Upgrade is about; deal with those discomforts so that you can feel better, more free and in touch with your intuition.  After addressing those uncomfortable feelings I left the course feeling an amazing sense of peace, which was better than I could have ever imagined.

Since then other discomforts have surfaced as I go about my day-to-day life and I know I need to use the tools I have learnt to address those too.  Interestingly that peaceful feeling, although now passed, does not feel too far out of reach, if I keep using Life Upgrade tools I know I will be able to reach it again (hopefully for longer next time too).

Bristol Centre of Reproductive Medicine (BCRM)

I had the privilege of talking at the BCRM in June, it was a very enjoyable evening.  I met people who are going through some really challenging times, who were very inspiring in the ways that they were coping with their stress levels.  Interesting topics came up during the evening one of them being should those trying to conceive drink alcohol?

My recommendation is always to cut out drinking in order to give your pregnancy the best chance.  However if you do find yourself having a glass, feeling guilty about it and beating yourself up that’s not going to do you any good either!

My aim is to support clients to achieve their best chance of conception, that means getting mind and body in tip top condition, drinking is not a part of that.  It’s about addressing the feelings that make you want that drink in the first place (or feel guilty about having one) as there is likely to be underlying issues which need resolving.  Life Upgrade as a system is effective in addressing and resolving those issues.

Best Fertility & Infertility Blogs 2012 | Trying to Conceive blogs

Decided it was about time we reviewed all the best fertility & infertility blogs, and  trying to conceive blogs around this year and post some links to them. So here our some great ones to get you started. If you have a particular fertility or infertility blog that you find useful, or you are the author of a fertilty or TTC blog then feel free to post a link to it in comments with some information.

Reading about how others have coped with ups and downs on the journey of trying to conceive through a personal blog can be helpful, and writing down your experiences and thoughts in a blog can also be therapeutic.

There are some great TTC blogs out there. These are some of our favourites. this list is by no means complete, and we are happy to add to it.

Personal Trying to Conceive Blogs

IVF Blogs this is an old blog now but still a great one.

TTC after miscarriage/ babyloss

Information & support for infertility blog

Humerous look at infertility blogs

Last updated 2010

Infertility & IVF information blogs

Blogs about infertility success stories

How Life Upgrade has Helped Me

I was fortunate enough to attend Tracy Holloway’s Life Upgrade Foundation course for the second time last month.  Caught up with old friends and met some new ones.  Although I have done the course before and use Life Upgrade tools everyday, I still came away gaining a great deal.  During the course a few of us were discussing how difficult we find it to describe what Life Upgrade is all about.  I can say, however, some of the ways it has helped me:

I am a much happier and healthier person since discovering (and consistently using) Life Upgrade.  My stress levels are greatly reduced and if I ever do feel stressed I have the tools to deal with it effectively and efficiently.  I have found myself in situations which would have previously caused a great deal of stress and now feel calm and able to cope.  I am back in touch with my intuition and have the trust to follow it.  I am able to live in the present moment more and more, which is a wonderful place to be!  I rarely feel my mind racing with distracting thoughts; if I do I can use Life Upgrade to get back to the present again.  My life is now going in the direction I want it to and what’s more I know that things are only going to get better the more I use the Life Upgrade tools.

It is a joy to be sharing this with other people, as I know from personal experience how well it works.  I am constantly amazed at how the body and mind (when in harmony) can work wonders for health and well-being.  I am privileged to be working in this field and to be able to maintain a feeling of wonder at how amazing we really are!

If you would like to try out the Life Upgrade system I can give you a session, which is a demonstration of some of the tools.

After a session with me you will have some tools to use for yourself.   Using these tools consistently in your day-to-day life will allow you to see some of the potential of Life Upgrade.

To get the full benefit it is essential that you attend a course with Tracy Holloway.  I cannot recommend Tracy’s course highly enough for anyone who is looking to move forward in their lives.

Best Fertility & Infertility Blogs for 2012

We are compiling a list of the best fertility & infertility blogs of 2012 and would appreciate your input. If you have a favourite blog that has helped you and that you would like to recomend then please do send us the link or post it in comments.

If you are the author of a fertility or infertility blog and would like it included then please get in touch by e-mail to or leave us a message in comments.

The categories so far are :

  • TTC Blogs
  • IVF Blogs
  • TTC after miscarriage/ babyloss blogs
  • Information & support for infertility blogs
  • Humerous look at infertility blogs
  • Infertility & IVF information blogs
  • Blogs about infertility success stories

Amy’s New Year Newsletter 2012

Happy New Year

Here’s to 2012! May your year be full of cooperation, love and joy.

Oneness Meditation

Tracy has specially recorded a Oneness Meditation to prepare hearts and minds for the opportunities 2012 will bring. As always I highly recommend her meditations what’s more this one is free, what have you got to lose?

Make Space

It’s always a good time to make space in your life, clear your mind of clutter.  I do feel though that at this time of year it is important to let the past year settle and make space for what the next will bring.  Set your intention, make sure it is clear what you want from 2012.  (Listening to Tracy’s Oneness Meditation will help you do this.)  Keeping your mind clear of clutter will enable you to achieve what you want.  Those of you who have had a session with me and /or been on Tracy’s course/s will know how to use tools to keep your mind clear and stay in the present moment.  When those ‘old programs’ come up you know what to do! 😉  For those of you who wish to conceive, make space for your baby, in your mind and in your life, taking time out to relax will help you do this.

Who Are You?

Another reminder of Tracy’s excellent home study course available to all.  Called ‘Who are you?’ it has been developed for those who wish to access their authentic self and discover lasting change.  The course consists of a workbook with insights and practical exercises and 10 CDs of powerful meditations to support you along the way.  There is also access to webinars held by Tracy Holloway and membership to a supportive, likeminded online community.  An opportunity not to be missed by those who wish to move on from the past, live fully in the moment and begin experiencing the life they dream of.  Follow this link for more details:

Best wishes,

Amy Marner

Would you like to be a guest blogger on our infertility blog ? Then do get in touch

Yes its that time of year again and we are looking for some guest contributors on our fertility blog. Its always great to have new fertility bloggers as they bring fresh ideas, experience and insites.

We already have some really great guest fertility bloggers who blog about all sorts of things fertility & infertility related including IVF, alternative therapies for infertility, their own personal TTC journeys, support for infertility to mention just a few.

If you would like to join our team of contributors please do get in touch. You can blog about anything fertility or infertility related including your personal ttc journey or fertility/ infertility experiences

We are also looking for fertility experts. Are you working in a field of fertility or are in complementary medicine with an emphasis on fertility, and would like to share your knowledge and experience with our fertility readers ? Would you like to blog about your particular field of infertility and how it relates to fertility as a specialist contributor on our fertility blog ?

If you would like to be a guest fertility blogger or contributor please e-mail us or post in comments and we will e-mail you.

Any e-mail address or personal info you leave in comments is kept private

Best Fertility & Infertility Blogs | Trying to Conceive Blogs

We wanted to compile a list of the current best trying to conceive, IVF infertility & fertility blogs to follow, when you are on the sometimes bumpy journey of trying to conceive.

This list is by no means complete and includes those TTC & infertility blogs that we have come across and found helpful, or had recommended to us. If you know of other great fertility, infertility, ttc, or IVF blogs that you would recommend to others, or if you write a fertility or infertility blog then please leave the link in comments.

We are not suggesting that you follow all these fertility blogs, but you may find some of them helpful.

Personal Trying to Conceive Blogs

IVF Blogs

TTC after miscarriage/ babyloss

Information & support for infertility blogs

Humerous look at infertility blogs

Infertility & IVF information blogs

Blogs about infertility success stories

Thank you to our fertility blog contributors

We have some really great contributors on our fertility blog and we can not thank them enough for their contributions.  They keep the infertility blog fresh and offer differing views & experiences of the world of infertility, and we feel really lucky to have them share their experinces with us.

We are always on the lookout for contributors to the fertility blog. If you think that you would like to become a contributor on this fertility blog you do not need to be an expert in the field of infertility (although of course fertility experts are always very welcome) You may simply want to share your experiences of infertility.

If you would like to become a contributor on the blog please do get in touch either by leaving us a message in comments or by e-mailing 

If you have a fertility or infertility story that you would like to share, but you do not wish to be a contributor on the blog then e-mail it to us and we will publish it anonymously. Many of our readers do this already so that we can share their infertility stories & experiences with you.