03/11/2009 by yourgreatlife.

Part Two: Coming upon a Crossroads, What You Need To Make Your Decisions

The first crossroads is likely to be when you decide to see the doctor because, despite your efforts, you have not conceived.   It isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, or culture, to expose their intimate life to the scrutiny of doctors or undergo blood tests and scans, checking for something “wrong.”  Some uninformed men may be unwilling to provide a semen sample, for fear of what the results may suggest about his manliness.

Both the woman and man may feel some anxiety about whose family line may be to “blame” for their inability to become pregnant.  If this pertains to you or your partner, you must cast these outdated stigmas aside and take some relatively simple tests to discover the cause of your infertility.  If having a baby is your ultimate goal, your value system may have to adapt to accept the help that modern medicine and technology offer.

The second crossroads is deciding whether to pursue more invasive medical investigations and/or treatment.  With a clear diagnosis and readily available treatment, it is easier to decide what to do because the options are more clearly set out.  Your personal life may present the deciding factor: your relationship, finances, career, religion or emotional wellbeing may all be taken into consideration.  Many couples have to contend with unexplained infertility, where early test results were ambiguous.  If you (or your doctor) are operating in the dark, it won’t do much for your confidence.  In this case, the dilemma about which treatment to pursue may be decided by not knowing what else to do. 

Whatever your decision, the most important factor is agreement between the partners, not only because cooperation, understanding and support are vital to keeping stress levels down, but also because it could mean the difference between having a genetic child or not.  From the point that you choose assisted conception you enter a different world; one where your daily life centres on the fertility clinic. For working men, the clinical, inconvenient scheduling, financial and sexual aspects of trying to conceive while being treated, put them into unfamiliar territory and cause stress.  Women will physically experience all of that, and possibly, mood swings, pain, invasive procedures and fear that time is running out as well. 

The decision-making shifts to:

• Are you happy with the doctor/clinic you started with?
• Should you try less invasive treatment first, or go straight to IVF?
• Should we try complementary therapies before, or alongside, traditional medical treatment?
• How will you pay for your treatment?
• When should you begin treatment?
• Can this be managed around your work and/or other obligations?
• How many embryos do you want to implant? 
• How many times will you undergo treatment?

These questions may have the two of you at a new crossroads every week. While some people may sail through and others agonize, it’s more likely that some decisions will bring up unexpected issues.  Pay really close attention how you are both functioning.  Your emotional state is important: Do either of you feel stressed, resentful, guilty, desperate, depressed, or hopeless?  Is one of you leaning one way and the other in another direction?  Are you fighting? That is where mutual respect, communication and agreement come into play.

Lisa Marsh is a Fertility Coach working with people on all aspects of fertility, including female and male infertility, pregnancy loss, assisted conception, alternative means of family-building and menopause.  Visit her blog http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com or her website http://yourgreatlife.co.uk for more information.  For coaching, email lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk

Posted in doing things differently, female fertility, Fertility Treatment, Assisted reproduction, Life Coaching, infertility investigations, Asking for help, fertility coach, Marriage, Getting Pregnant, Trying to Conceive, Fertility Tests, Male Fertility Issues, Pregnancy, Infertility, Alternative Therapies & Fertility, IVF, Fertility, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

01/11/2009 by yourgreatlife.

Part One: How Do You Function as a Couple? 

Infertility is no picnic. There are months or even years of suspecting a problem, opening up about it, asking for help, educating yourselves about issues, medical terms, finding acceptance and making decisions about how to proceed.  It’s not entirely straightforward for most couples.  How can it be, unless you are incredibly agreeable, immediately find the right doctor and receive an unequivocal diagnosis and solution?  Often, I get annoyed by the over-used term “fertility journey,” but it fits here too perfectly to cast aside, as I describe various crossroads you may reach on the way to creating your family.  A crossroads, in this context, is one of those times when you have to stop and deliberate a big decision that will affect the way you pursue parenting and its success.  You may have a possible diagnosis, a medical opinion, and/or the opinions of family, friends and forum members to contend with, fighting for attention in your head.  You have to pay attention to what your body is telling you as well.  Primarily, if you are in a relationship, you must come to an agreement with your partner at each of several crossroads. 

How will you get through these rather large bumps in the road? For the most part, that will depend upon how your relationship already works.

For a couple whose communication skills are quite healthy, facing these decisions may not be too difficult. Secure in their relationship, they may sit down together and have private, peaceful conversations every step of the way.  They will lay out the pros and cons very efficiently, really listening to each other and reading the subtext (that which is not actually spoken) to arrive at a decision that both find acceptable.

The couple who do not talk about much may just launch into medical investigations and treatment without much forethought.  That may seem unbelievable, considering the physical, emotional and financial costs, but it works for some.  This is the couple that knows they want children, want their “problem fixed” and allow their doctor to run the show. “It seems like everyone is having fertility treatment these days,” so why shouldn’t they? One concern is that if they don’t talk about huge issues like fertility treatment, they may not know when they need to be supportive of each other.

Where one person in the relationship is clearly dominant, the person who is in the power seat makes most of the decisions and their partner follows the lead.  When it comes to fertility issues, I would lay a bet down that the woman is making the decisions. This is actually more effective than you might think, in that traditional relationships assign matters of health, wellbeing and family planning to the woman. Her man goes off to work, doesn’t accompany her to the doctor’s office and understands the need for scheduling tests, scans, injections, sex and, well, life.  She only has to tell him where and when to show up to fulfil his parts of the equation. 

 Finally, there are the couples who discuss EVERYTHING in minute detail, who I divide into two camps:1)  The couple who talk about everything with each other and everyone else. Copious research, note-taking, question-asking, Google-obsessing, and forum-hopping is normal for them, but they do finally come to a decision and eventually take a step forward and 2) The couple that goes round and round the issues in circles, saying “What do you think? No, you say what you want first. Please just tell me what you want to do. Maybe we should discuss it more.”  This couple is in danger of losing valuable time in getting their treatment started or moving on to the next available spot with the clinic.

This is Part One of a Series. Please look for the next Part: Coming upon a Crossroads, What You Need To Make Your Decisions.

Lisa Marsh is a Fertility Coach working with people on all aspects of fertility, including female and male infertility, pregnancy loss, assisted conception, alternative means of family-building and menopause.  Visit her blog http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com or her website http://yourgreatlife.co.uk for more information.  For coaching, email lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk

Posted in Guest blogger, Assisted reproduction, Male Infertility, fertility coach, infertility investigations, Asking for help, Fertility Treatment, Male Fertility Test, Infertility, Trying to Conceive, Fertility, IVF, Getting Pregnant, Fertility Tests | No Comments »

12/01/2009 by admin.

Just read this interesting article at bbc online . here is an extract from the article below.

A man’s genetic make-up may play a role in whether he has sons or daughters, a study of hundreds of years of family trees suggests.

Newcastle University researchers found men were more likely to have sons if they had more brothers and vice versa if they had more sisters.

They looked at 927 family trees, with details on 556,387 people from North America and Europe, going back to 1600.

The same link between sibling sex and offspring sex was not found for women.

The precise way that genes can influence baby sex remains unproven.

Click here to read the full article online

Posted in gender determination, Sperm, How to Increase your chances of having a boy, Getting Pregnant, Pregnancy | No Comments »

05/12/2008 by admin.

Just read this article below online. Its by Suzi Godson from the Times 29/11/08

Suzi Godson is also the author of a comprehensive guide to sex book called  The Sex Book 

 I thought it might be a useful reminder.

From The Times

November 29, 2008

10 things you need to know before you try for a baby

Suzi Godson

1. It can take about three months for full fertility to return after giving up the Pill, but some doctors suspect fertility is boosted in the first two weeks after a woman stops taking it.

2. Start taking 400 micrograms of folic acid every day to decrease the risk of neural-tube defects such as spina bifida. Green vegetables such as spinach, kale, broccoli, lettuce and peas are also rich sources of folate.

3. Clean up. Both of you need to cut out fags and alcohol. Steer clear of caffeine, Chinese herbs, herbal remedies and large doses of vitamin A as it can cause birth defects and liver toxicity. Check your vitamin supplements don’t contain vitamin A and steer clear of liver which also contains it in high doses. Also avoid raw or undercooked meat/eggs, soft cheeses and over-the- counter medicines (unless approved by your pharmacist) because they stay in your system and might be harmful if you become pregnant.

4. And shape up. Being overweight or underweight can increase the risk of birth defects or low birth-weight babies. You’ll need a complete check-up, including smears, screening for sexually transmitted infections and outstanding immunisations. Discuss your medical history and blood types with your GP and get yourself to the dentist. Pregnancy can play havoc with your teeth.

5. Know your cycle. Ovulation usually happens about 14 days before the first day of your next period. If your cycle is 28 days, with your period arriving on day one, day 14 is your most fertile day, but if you have a 32-day cycle, ovulation occurs on day 18. If you examine yourself daily, you’ll notice a vaginal discharge that’s transparent and stretchy between your fingers, like egg white, on your most fertile days.

6. Don’t become obsessed. Limiting your sex life to the few specific days each cycle when you think you might be ovulating will kill the spontaneity in your sexual relationship.

7. Instead, try to have sex every other day to ensure a continuous fresh supply of sperm (storing up sperm for longer than three days is detrimental to quality).

8. Have sex the day before you ovulate. Sperm can live for several days inside the body so making love before ovulation occurs gives it time to travel up the Fallopian tubes to lie in wait for the egg.

9. Let gravity lend a hand. Make sure he’s on top and put a pillow under your bum or practise your shoulder stand after he ejaculates.

10. Be patient. For every 100 couples having sex two to three times a week, about 30 will conceive within one month, 60 within six months and 85 will have conceived within one year.

Posted in Getting Pregnant, Fertility Advice, Fertility File, Trying to Conceive | No Comments »

23/10/2008 by admin.

HOME OVULATION PREDICTION-When is the best time to get Pregnant ?

Around 15-20% of couples are infertile or sub fertile, and many more experience delays & resulting anxiety in conceiving which may often be caused by bad timing. Knowing the best time to get pregnant can help

An average couple takes 6 months to conceive and many GP’s will not refer for investigations until a couple has been trying for at least 12 months. As many couples are starting to try for a baby later in life these days, this delay can become quite worrying & cause a lot of anxiety.

Some of the delays in conceiving may simply be a matter of bad timing i.e. having intercourse at the wrong time in the woman’s cycle. Recent research has suggested that the fertility window (ie the best time to get pregnant) each month may in fact only be 3-4 days, and so timing intercourse to coincide with this time of maximum fertility is obviously very important.

Ovulation predictors can be helpful in two ways:

1)To help time intercourse to maximize the chance of conception

2) To help identify if ovulation problems exist and so accelerate referral for specialist advice.

If you cycle is very regular and the same length each month timing ovulation is fairly easy. You ovulate 14 days before your next period is due, and so you should make sure you have intercourse just before ovulation and around the time of ovulation to maximise your chances of conceiving.

If your cycle is a little erratic or irregular like many of us find particular as we are getting older, then there are ways you can predict when you are going to ovulate or have ovulated.

What types of ovulation prediction methods are there?

1) Urine tests-test urine for the presence of luteinising hormone (LH tests).Available in midstream, cassette and dip strip test. They give you advance notification of ovulation and are therefore called ovulation predictors. To see full range of urine home ovulation tests click here

2) Saliva Ovulation Microscopes-many resemble a lipstick. At ovulation, the hormone estrogen is increased, which increases the salt levels in your body. This salt increase is evident in saliva. Saliva ovulation mini microscope allows you to see the salt crystals that dry on the microscope glass slide. For more information on the Saliva Ovulation microscopes click here. Click here for more information & to see a range of ovulation microscopes

3) Basal Temperature- A simple inexpensive way of telling if you have ovulated. You should take your temperature orally each morning before getting up, eating or drinking. Digital thermometers are used for their accuracy and ease of use. Ovulation usually occurs one day before the temperature rises. BBT evaluations only confirm, but do not predict, ovulation. For more information on the Basal Thermometers click here. Click here to see Basal Thermometers suitable for ovulation

4) Cervical Mucus or Billings method-the consistency of the cervical mucus changes during your cycle due to hormonal fluctuations. You are considered at your most fertile when the mucus becomes clear, slippery, and stretchy. Many women describe the mucus at this stage as resembling raw egg whites. One word of caution however - sperm can be confused with the mucus secretions and you could make the wrong assumption.

5) Fertility Monitor-the Clearblue Fertility Monitor also works by detecting the LH surge as well as measuring Oestrogen levels. The monitor then builds up a detailed picture of your unique hormone cycle. Clearblue Fertility Monitor is the most advanced home method to maximise your chances of conceiving. In recent research use of the Clearblue Fertility Monitor was shown to increase the chances of conceiving by 89% over the first two cycles of use. Click here for more information on the Clearblue Fertility Monitor or to buy

Posted in Ovulation Prediction, Ovulation Microscopes, Ovulation Tests, Getting Pregnant, Clearblue, Trying to Conceive | 1 Comment »

14/10/2008 by admin.

Read this article online from this summers Telegraph newspaper that thought was interesting-the headline certainly grabbed my attention as I love a good cup of coffee or three.

 A study published recently, has shown that drinking more than 4 cups of coffee a day, may significantly reduce a womans chances of getting pregnant. Good news when your not trying to conceive but not so great when you are.

It seems a heavy caffeine intake may be as bad for womens fertility as being obese or heavy drinking.

Paradoxically a  previous study into male fertility suggested that coffee could increase sperm mobility, raising a man’s chances of getting a woman pregnant, but that is a subject for another blog

 Here is an extract from the article

The findings, published at the European Society for Human Reproduction & Embryology (ESHRE) conference in Barcelona, suggest that drinking large amounts of coffee can reduce a woman’s chances of getting pregnant by a quarter.

Researchers looked at more than 8,000 women who had IVF treatment between 1983 and 1995 in the Netherlands.

More than 16 per cent of the women went on to conceive naturally in the following years.

When the scientists analysed the women’s lifestyle they found marked patterns in the birth rates.

Women who drank four cups of coffee a day were 26 per cent less likely than average to have conceived naturally, the findings show.

 Click here to read the full article

Posted in Getting Pregnant, Fertility File, Trying to Conceive | No Comments »