Would you like to write for our Fertility Blog ?

We are currently recruiting bloggers to write for this fertility blog.

If you are working in a field of fertility or are an alternative health practioner who works with couples who are trying to conceive and you would like to become a contributor on the fertility blog then please send an e-mail to kate@adtuk.co.uk

If you currently trying to conceive and would like to share your journey with others ( anonymously of course) though our fertility blog then please contact us and we will set you up as a contributor.

Amy Marner’s Summer Newsletter (2012)

Life Upgrade Expanded

I had a great time on the Life Upgrade Expanded course in May.  It was wonderful to finally be able to attend and meet lots of new people (and old friends).  The weekend was uplifting and inspiring however not without it’s uncomfortable moments.  But then that’s what Life Upgrade is about; deal with those discomforts so that you can feel better, more free and in touch with your intuition.  After addressing those uncomfortable feelings I left the course feeling an amazing sense of peace, which was better than I could have ever imagined.

Since then other discomforts have surfaced as I go about my day-to-day life and I know I need to use the tools I have learnt to address those too.  Interestingly that peaceful feeling, although now passed, does not feel too far out of reach, if I keep using Life Upgrade tools I know I will be able to reach it again (hopefully for longer next time too).

Bristol Centre of Reproductive Medicine (BCRM)

I had the privilege of talking at the BCRM in June, it was a very enjoyable evening.  I met people who are going through some really challenging times, who were very inspiring in the ways that they were coping with their stress levels.  Interesting topics came up during the evening one of them being should those trying to conceive drink alcohol?

My recommendation is always to cut out drinking in order to give your pregnancy the best chance.  However if you do find yourself having a glass, feeling guilty about it and beating yourself up that’s not going to do you any good either!

My aim is to support clients to achieve their best chance of conception, that means getting mind and body in tip top condition, drinking is not a part of that.  It’s about addressing the feelings that make you want that drink in the first place (or feel guilty about having one) as there is likely to be underlying issues which need resolving.  Life Upgrade as a system is effective in addressing and resolving those issues.

Best Fertility & Infertility Blogs 2012 | Trying to Conceive blogs

Decided it was about time we reviewed all the best fertility & infertility blogs, and  trying to conceive blogs around this year and post some links to them. So here our some great ones to get you started. If you have a particular fertility or infertility blog that you find useful, or you are the author of a fertilty or TTC blog then feel free to post a link to it in comments with some information.

Reading about how others have coped with ups and downs on the journey of trying to conceive through a personal blog can be helpful, and writing down your experiences and thoughts in a blog can also be therapeutic.

There are some great TTC blogs out there. These are some of our favourites. this list is by no means complete, and we are happy to add to it.

Personal Trying to Conceive Blogs

IVF Blogs

http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2004/10/surviving_infer.html this is an old blog now but still a great one.

http://ivfgirl.com/

http://invitrofertilitygoddess.com/

TTC after miscarriage/ babyloss

http://nongeordiemum.blogspot.com/

Information & support for infertility blog

Humerous look at infertility blogs

Last updated 2010 http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/2010/05/758-you-read-infertility-blogs/

http://www.bustedplumbing.com/

Infertility & IVF information blogs

http://www.ivfauthority.com/

http://infertilityblog.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html

Blogs about infertility success stories

http://chasingamiracle.com/

http://jennandtonica.com/

http://www.roadtohappilyeverafter.com/2010/12/one-where-i-let-it-all-out.htmlful.

How Life Upgrade has Helped Me

I was fortunate enough to attend Tracy Holloway’s Life Upgrade Foundation course for the second time last month.  Caught up with old friends and met some new ones.  Although I have done the course before and use Life Upgrade tools everyday, I still came away gaining a great deal.  During the course a few of us were discussing how difficult we find it to describe what Life Upgrade is all about.  I can say, however, some of the ways it has helped me:

I am a much happier and healthier person since discovering (and consistently using) Life Upgrade.  My stress levels are greatly reduced and if I ever do feel stressed I have the tools to deal with it effectively and efficiently.  I have found myself in situations which would have previously caused a great deal of stress and now feel calm and able to cope.  I am back in touch with my intuition and have the trust to follow it.  I am able to live in the present moment more and more, which is a wonderful place to be!  I rarely feel my mind racing with distracting thoughts; if I do I can use Life Upgrade to get back to the present again.  My life is now going in the direction I want it to and what’s more I know that things are only going to get better the more I use the Life Upgrade tools.

It is a joy to be sharing this with other people, as I know from personal experience how well it works.  I am constantly amazed at how the body and mind (when in harmony) can work wonders for health and well-being.  I am privileged to be working in this field and to be able to maintain a feeling of wonder at how amazing we really are!

If you would like to try out the Life Upgrade system I can give you a session, which is a demonstration of some of the tools.

After a session with me you will have some tools to use for yourself.   Using these tools consistently in your day-to-day life will allow you to see some of the potential of Life Upgrade.

To get the full benefit it is essential that you attend a course with Tracy Holloway.  I cannot recommend Tracy’s course highly enough for anyone who is looking to move forward in their lives.  www.tracyholloway.com

Best Fertility & Infertility Blogs for 2012

We are compiling a list of the best fertility & infertility blogs of 2012 and would appreciate your input. If you have a favourite blog that has helped you and that you would like to recomend then please do send us the link or post it in comments.

If you are the author of a fertility or infertility blog and would like it included then please get in touch by e-mail to kate@adtuk.co.uk or leave us a message in comments.

The categories so far are :

  • TTC Blogs
  • IVF Blogs
  • TTC after miscarriage/ babyloss blogs
  • Information & support for infertility blogs
  • Humerous look at infertility blogs
  • Infertility & IVF information blogs
  • Blogs about infertility success stories

Help for individuals and couples in the High Peak area

Dr Diane Critchlow, a clinical embryologist with twenty five years experience in a large NHS IVF Unit, has set up a specialist diagnostic and consultancy service in primary care.

Based in Glossop, between Manchester and Sheffield, the easily accessible and affordable three part service aims to direct couples or individuals as quickly and easily to the most beneficial further investigations or treatment (NHS or private).

The service works to complement NHS investigations, but offers specialist interpretaion of results at a very early stage, to help couples feel less stressed and more in control of their situation.  Even after a few months of trying, we appreciate that individuals can become desperate to find out why they are not getting pregnant, and anxious about what to do next. If you visit your GP, you may be unsure about why you are having tests and what the results may mean. Or you many consider approaching a large fertility treatment clinic, but are worried about costs and which clinic to choose. Other couples or individuals may be delaying starting a family, or considering storing eggs, but need to assess if their fertilty is declining. This new service aims to answer these questions for you.  With direct access to a consultant clinical embryologist,  you are able to utilise expertise not usually available directly to patients, as you would usually see a gynaecologist.  Female ovarian reserve can be assessed with measurement of blood Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) level and a comprehensive semen analysis will give information about male fertility.

Dr Critchlow has a special interest in male fertility and has extensive knowledge of all current fertilty investigations and treatments. Early testing with a full explanation of results can give couples peace of mind, even if results are low, as they can be advised about the best course of action to conceive naturally or given information about options for further investigations or treatment. Early detection of a male factor problem can be vital if the fertilty of the female partner is declining.  In addition, an optional clinic consultation is offered to discuss results in more detail, and provide couples with individualised written information tailored specifically to their situation. We are able to compare tests, treatment types, success rates and costs at different clinics.

If you reside within one hour travelling distance of Glossop Primary Care Centre, SK13 8AY and would like more information about this new service, please contact Dr Diane Critchlow on 0753 8822083

Guestblogging on this Fertility Blog

We are currently looking for guest bloggers on our fertility blog.

Are you a fertility doctor, fertility nurse , healthcare worker in the fertility or infertility sector or an expert in a particular field of fertility or infertility ? Do you have personal experience of a infertility or fertility investigations or do you work in an alternative field of health helping support couples through infertility ?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes and you would like to share your experiences & thoughts through our fertility blog then we would love to hear from you. You can write about anything health & fertility related that you think our readers may be interested in & post links to other relevant medical or health websites if you wish.

If you would like to be a guest fertility blogger please do get in touch by e-mail to kate@valuemed.co.uk or by posting in comments and we will contact you. Any e-mail address that you post in comments is kept private and will not appear on the blog

TTC Success Stories

Do you have a great ttc success story that you would like to share with others ?

If you have , then send us your ttc success stories and we will publish them on our fertility blog (discretely of course)

Do you have a ttc or fertility related question that you would like to ask our team ?

Then please e-mail it to us with your question

Send your reviews, ttc stories, & questions to kate@adtuk.co.uk

Would you like to be a contributor on our fertility blog ?

We have some brilliant contributors on our fertility blog.

If you would like to become one of them then please do get in touch, we would leave to hear from you.

Contact us through comments on our fertility blog, through our twitter page or e-mail us on the e-mail address above.

Spring News From Amy Marner

Birth Preparation

Relaxation For Pregnancy and Childbirth

Life Upgrade for Pregnancy and Childbirth

Maternity Leave

Feels funny calling this a Spring newsletter with this fantastic warm weather we are having!  I hope you have all had a chance to enjoy the sunshine.

Birth Preparation

I have now begun to support women in preparing for their birthing experience.  As some of you already know I am keen to support women to have a positive birthing experience and now, as well as providing positive birthing stories, I am also offering Tracy Holloway’s ‘Relaxation for Pregnancy and Childbirth’ Hypnosis CDs and Life Upgrade sessions for those women who wish to address their fears during pregnancy and childbirth.

Relaxation For Pregnancy and Childbirth

“By taking time to relax deeply, women can tap into their innate wisdom, trust their birthing body, remain calm and feel confident – throughout pregnancy and birth.” Tracy Holloway.  For more details about the benefits of these Hypnosis CDs please visit my website.

Life Upgrade for Pregnancy and Childbirth

Life Upgrade is a great for women who have fears about pregnancy and/or childbirth.  It is an effective system for addressing fears and allowing women to live in the moment happily without letting their worries take over.

Life Upgrade is helpful for any fears, which pregnancy and childbirth can bring up however I have experience working with women who fear miscarriage, have fears surrounding the birth, and fears that may arise for those who are pregnant due to IVF treatment.

It’s also a great system for use during labour to remain focused and in the moment clearing any fears that may come up.  What’s more the tools are extremely helpful for the parenting to come!

My Website has more details:

Maternity Leave

As I am currently 8 Months pregnant I am planning to take some time out from clients as soon as my baby is born.  I will be back in October 2011.  If you know someone who you feel needs some support before I am back feel free to get in touch as I do have a couple of excellent practitioners I can refer them to.

In the meantime the Hypnosis and Meditation CDs will still be available from my website.

 

Fertility Road Magazine Issue 5 Out Now!

Subscription SJP Cover

In this issue we have an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker and her chance for surrogacy. We’ve great ideas for that romantic getaway, a chat with Tony Reid, the creator of Fertility Friends – the biggest online fertility forum, plus news and reviews.

Also, we have one woman’s story on preserving her fertility with Ovarian Tissue Freezing, Cooking to Conceive and the lowdown on surrogacy in South Africa. There are some great prizes to be won in this issue, simply drop us an email with your details, and you could be the lucky winner of two tickets on the Eurostar to Paris.

 p.s. Make sure to put a note in your diary for the 15th and 16th April as the Fertility World Show comes to London’s Olympia. With Doctors, fertility experts and a great line up of renowned speakers including Zita West and Professor William Ledger. So if you have any questions you want answering pop on down – we would love to see you there!

 Until then, kick back, relax and enjoy our magazine…  Subscribe Now…

FERTILITY WORLD:
If you are planning to start a family but are having difficulties getting pregnant, then you must visit the Fertility World Show on 15 – 16 April at Olympia London – the one stop exhibition for all the help, advice and information you need to have a baby.

 – IVF & fertility clinics from the UK and abroad

– Talks from leading fertility experts

– Natural and complementary treatments

– One-to-one advice from fertility experts

 Seminars in the Fertility Road Seminar Theatre Include:

Maximising your chances of getting pregnant

Choosing a fertility clinic

Going overseas for fertility treatment

How the NHS can help with fertility costs

Same sex fertility treatment

The donor and surrogacy route

Fertility information resources

Natural methods to boost your fertility

 Book your FREE TICKET at www.fertility-world.co.uk

Fertility World / April 15th & 16th 2011 / London Olympia

       

Fertility Road Magazine (Europe’s Number 1 Fertility Magazine) is excited to announce the “Fertility World Show in Association with Fertility Road” at London Olympia on April 15th & 16th 2011.

Fertility World ( www.Fertility-World.co.ukbe a section of this year’s Destination Health Show and dedicated to helping people on their path to parenthood.  Fertility World will cover a number of subjects in the “Fertility Road Seminar Theatre” including cross-border reproductive care, IVF, PCOS & ‘Expectant Management’ an overview of options for couples trying to conceive in the current climate of NHS cut backs.One in six couples now face infertility in the UK, and the problem is growing. Looking to start a family? Join us at Fertility World and visit the Fertility Road Seminar Theatre.

                

Fertility Road Magazine is aimed at helping women and men on their journey to parenthood. The Magazine provides not only information on the latest treatments and drugs to help people conceive, but natural conception options as well, such as healthy eating and fantastic places to conceive written by Doctors and Industry specialists. Other features include book reviews, cooking to conceive with Dr. Marilyn Glenville, Zita West (Pregnancy Author) is our “Expert Witness” answering your questions, alternative options, celebrity births, success stories, as well as a cutting edge science section.  

For more information please visit FertilityRoad or contact us at info@FertilityRoad.com 

Would you like to be a guest blogger on our infertility blog ? Then do get in touch

Yes its that time of year again and we are looking for some guest contributors on our fertility blog. Its always great to have new fertility bloggers as they bring fresh ideas, experience and insites.

We already have some really great guest fertility bloggers who blog about all sorts of things fertility & infertility related including IVF, alternative therapies for infertility, their own personal TTC journeys, support for infertility to mention just a few.

If you would like to join our team of contributors please do get in touch. You can blog about anything fertility or infertility related including your personal ttc journey or fertility/ infertility experiences

We are also looking for fertility experts. Are you working in a field of fertility or are in complementary medicine with an emphasis on fertility, and would like to share your knowledge and experience with our fertility readers ? Would you like to blog about your particular field of infertility and how it relates to fertility as a specialist contributor on our fertility blog ?

If you would like to be a guest fertility blogger or contributor please e-mail us or post in comments and we will e-mail you.

Any e-mail address or personal info you leave in comments is kept private

What is the Fertility Solutions Programme?

Fertility Solutions was developed by Tracy Holloway as a whole person programme to support couples going through Fertility difficulties.

Experiencing fertility problems is one of the most stressful experiences to go through.  What is more a lot of people do not understand what it is like for couples experiencing problems.  Often couples who have been planning for a baby for years are asked “When are you going to start a family?”  This can only add to the stress, particularly if the couple have decided not to tell others about their fertility challenges.  What is more high stress levels are known to reduce the chances of conception so it is very important for couples to reduce their stress levels as best they can.

Fertility Solutions aims to give couples their best chance of conceiving by supporting them through the ups and downs of their fertility journey.  The programme includes Hypnosis, lifestyle support and a minimum of six sessions of Life Upgrade.

Hypnosis:

Hypnosis is a natural state that we all enter daily.  It’s those times when your imagination is active, so watching a film or reading a book.  If you are immersed in the story and your imagination is involved that is hypnosis.  You are completely in control and free to leave it at anytime.  Our subconscious does not know the difference between our imagination and reality so we can use our imagination to access the subconscious and create what we want in our lives.

Using hypnosis is a great way to address fertility, because we can access our imagination and address what is going on in our subconscious.  For example we may have spent years trying not to get pregnant, our subconscious may not have caught up with our new plans to start a family so using the imagination we can show the subconscious what we really want and it can catch up.  This then supports our body to conceive.

We may often have negative thoughts running through our minds, worry creating more worry and affecting our well-being.  Our negative thoughts can affect our hormonal balance but with hypnosis it is possible to bring them back to a healthy equilibrium therefore supporting conception.

Fertility Solutions hypnosis CDs have been developed by Tracy Holloway (a qualified hypnotherapist and renowned fertility specialist) in order to prepare the subconscious mind for conception.  The powerful CDs begin with deep relaxation; this prepares your mind for suggestion and supports you to release stress.  Once you have listened for at least a week to the first CD you can move on to the next.  Each one brings you relaxation and prepares the body for conception.  Some are designed specifically for those who are planning to conceive naturally, others support assisted conception and there are also CDs for those who have experienced miscarriage and fear their body cannot support a healthy baby.

These powerful CDs go hand in hand with the Fertility Solutions Programme but can also be very effective in their own right.

Lifestyle Support:

The Fertility Solutions Programme also provides advice and support on lifestyle.  For example I recommend that clients stop smoking and drinking alcohol in order to get their bodies in the best place for conception.  I will also make suggestions about diet and supplements to support fertility.  I recommend organic food as much as possible to reduce the residue toxins in the body and increase the nutrients in the diet.  For Couples with specific physical symptoms effecting fertility I may recommend certain supplements to support their body’s health.  Some people find these changes difficult and if this is the case then at least one of their Life Upgrade sessions will be dedicated to supporting graceful, effective and lasting change.

Life Upgrade:

Rather than an alternative therapy, Life Upgrade is a system which allows you to become more present in your day-to-day life.  It gives you simple tools that release negative thoughts running through your conscious and subconscious mind which have such an impact on the way you feel.  Letting go of those thoughts supports your well-being as a whole, physically and emotionally, as when we are in the present moment our body and mind is free from the distractions that create ill health and unhappiness.  The beauty of it is it is truly empowering; you are the one in control, you can deal with those thoughts and emotions as they come up rather than having to wait for your next session with a practitioner.

So how does it work?

Whatever is running in our subconscious mind affects the reality we experience.  The old programmes that are running are taken on by our subconscious mind because it think we need them to survive.  Some of those programmes are our own (from our childhood experiences for example) others have been passed down from our ancestors.

So here’s a simplified example; say one of my relatives had a bad experience at school, their teacher punished them for something they didn’t do.  Let’s say they got caned as a part of that punishment.  As an attempt to stop this happening again their subconscious mind took on the programme ‘Teachers can’t be trusted’.  This gets passed down the generations to me.  So I’m running the old programme ‘Teachers can’t be trusted’ I have no conscious knowledge of this programme nor of the events that took place to create it however it is there in the background as I go through life.

So every interaction I have with teachers in my lifetime is going to have alarm bells going of in my subconscious mind ‘Teacher’s can’t be trusted!’ therefore I will be searching for examples of this, on high alert for untrustworthy things teachers might do to protect myself from harm.  I am likely to misunderstand events as examples of untrustworthy teachers, which will only reinforce the programme I am already running.  I will certainly find it impossible to fully trust a teacher with all that going on in my subconscious.

Say I could clear that old programme so it no longer gets in the way?  Say I could completely delete it so that I can begin to interact with teachers and see them for who they really are?  Using Life Upgrade tools makes this possible.  Once I recognise that I am unhappy with my interaction with teachers I can clear the old programmes quickly and easily.  (I don’t even need to know what the old programmes are.)  What’s more it’s so simple you can do it yourself as you go about your daily business.  Each time you observe something that you want to change you just get out your tool box and change it!  I find that really exciting!

Life Upgrade tools make it easy to get back to the moment because they deal with the old programmes in your subconscious mind that distracted you from the moment in the first place.  What’s more in clearing these old programmes you are less likely to be distracted next time.  So Life Upgrade doesn’t just support you to get back into the present it also makes it easier to live in the moment, as each time you use the tools you are clearing old programmes that you no longer need.  Not only is this extremely helpful for those going through a long fertility journey, it is also useful for parenthood.

Who is Fertility Solutions Suitable For?

Fertility Solutions is suitable for anyone who is on their fertility journey and would like to support themselves to cope better from day-to-day.  It is suitable for those who are experiencing ‘unexplained infertility’, those with physical symptoms which are effecting their fertility (e.g. Polycystic Ovaries, Endometriosis, Fibroids and other complaints) and those who are going through medical intervention.  It is suitable for those who simply wish to improve their reproductive health and those who have decided to end their fertility journey and wish to live a fulfilling life without children. For more details visit my website or contact me to book your Free Initial consultation.

Best Fertility & Infertility Blogs | Trying to Conceive Blogs

We wanted to compile a list of the current best trying to conceive, IVF infertility & fertility blogs to follow, when you are on the sometimes bumpy journey of trying to conceive.

This list is by no means complete and includes those TTC & infertility blogs that we have come across and found helpful, or had recommended to us. If you know of other great fertility, infertility, ttc, or IVF blogs that you would recommend to others, or if you write a fertility or infertility blog then please leave the link in comments.

We are not suggesting that you follow all these fertility blogs, but you may find some of them helpful.

Personal Trying to Conceive Blogs

IVF Blogs

http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2004/10/surviving_infer.html

http://ivfgirl.com/

http://invitrofertilitygoddess.com/

TTC after miscarriage/ babyloss

http://nongeordiemum.blogspot.com/

Information & support for infertility blogs

http://www.yourgreatlife.typepad.com/

Humerous look at infertility blogs

http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/2010/05/758-you-read-infertility-blogs/

http://www.bustedplumbing.com/

Infertility & IVF information blogs

http://www.ivfauthority.com/

http://infertilityblog.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html

Blogs about infertility success stories

http://chasingamiracle.com/

http://jennandtonica.com/

http://www.roadtohappilyeverafter.com/2010/12/one-where-i-let-it-all-out.html

Reiki and infertility

So, my original plans when I trained with Reiki,  was to use it to help women through all the physical challenges and transitions in their lives and also to work through bereavement and loss.

The bereavement side stemmed from my own experiences and also with the idea that it could help people who have suffered miscarriage and still birth. Then, one of my friends suffered some complications after the birth of her first child, and I felt like I was supposed to help her through the process of living with that. This also featured a lot around loss, trauma and in a lot of ways, without divulging her personal details, a kind of bereavement.

I also wanted to help other women during pregnancy as it had made a massive difference to me. SO I thought well, why not try and roll it all into one, perhaps it could work – but i hadn’t really thought about helping ladies when they were trying to have a baby.
I came across a facebook discussion of a friend’s facebook status. Her friend was having some serious issues and was asking about reiki- I started replying about it – and thought what a shame, I could have given her a treatment – I presumed that, as my friend lived down south, so did hers. Turns out, she was only just a few junctions up the motorway from where I am. So, we arranged that after she had recovered from her surgery, we would meet up and have a treatment. All she was really expecting was that it would help her relax and that in turn would help her give up smoking, something she was going to have to do as a start on her journey to fertility treatment. I also felt that it would help her to emotionally deal with the difficulties she was having, and should it have happened, that if she was not able to have a baby, she would have the mental strength to work through that journey too.

That first time, was a really powerful session. With in that session, somehow she found she didn’t need to smoke anymore and has not smoked more than a couple since. She felt incredibly calm and positive and slept really well that first night.
I came away from it feeling amazingly energised and within 3 days had gone from considering the posibilities of becoming a therapist and maybe one day becoming a yoga teacher for children- to being booked on my next reiki course, booked on a yoga teaching course and having a name for my new company – I had also been given a treatment table that someone else had been wondering what they would do with it. A really powerful sign that I was thinking the right things !

A few weeks later my client suffered a very early miscarriage, major enforced changes on the front at work and at home,  and was really struggling. So, on our journey home from the north, we swung by and I gave her a treatment to help her sleep and relax after the real stresses she was experiencing.

Around about 4 weeks later, she texted and said she was most likely pregnant.

And here we are 33 weeks later and still going strong. There have been lots of stresses for her and she has been closely monitored after no end of problems.

I am absolutely not able to say that it was definately Reiki that enabled her to get pregnant – but she was expecting fully to have to go through fertility treatment and take clomid, which was only going to be a short term chance due to advanced endometriosis, in addition to a number of other complications.
At twelve weeks she wrote a review for my feedback page. I won’t put it all on here but the full story is available through the website. http://positivelycalmyoga.co.uk/index.php?url=feedback.html

And here we are 33 weeks later and still going strong. There have been lots of stresses for her and she has been closely monitored after no end of problems, trips to hospitals and worrying moments- but she has had lots of scans and baby is in there and doing well.

I have seen her several times over the last few months, and “little reiki baby” as he has been nicknamed for now, is kicking hard and rocking around. I know the arrival of this baby will be a very special moment for her, her husband and all of her family and friends and it is amazing for me to see how things have helped. I found her original information form that suggested she would be beginning fertility treatment in september 2010 – obviously, she hasn’t needed it.

I am not sure how to explain, really, how I feel that Reiki has helped her because really, there is no proof. However, her consultant has said he didn’t expect her to conceive on her own. He performed an operation at the start of the year but it was really with the plan that it should help her with the fertility treatment. He can’t say it was reiki – but he knows he didn’t think she would get pregnant. I am only guessing but I suppose it is something he has done many times before, and hasn’t usually resulted in an un assisted conception.

What I do know is that the Reiki energy balances the chakras ( energy points) in the body. It also assists the body to heal itself, to release negative energies and as these things happen, then the body can balance itself, allowing it to function as it should. It is a complementary therapy and I would always suggest it is used along side the advice of qualified doctors and medical advice.

It also aids relaxation and that is certainly something that has been proven as being a big facilitator in conception. It is also very gentle and non invasive. It simply goes where it needs to in the body, and does what is required. It can result in a feeling of calm, needing sleep or even being full of energy. I have had clients who have had a strong emotional release – either sudden needs to cry, scream or shout – and can also help with a physical release, often like suddenly need to go to the toilet. My reiki teacher has always described it as “new plumbing” because it releases blockages and clears out your energy pathways and allows your body to physically balance out.

I need to emphasise strongly that I am not claiming that if I – or any therapist- give a treatment to someone who is struggling with fertility, they will then definately get pregnant within a few weeks or months. However, I do feel that there are lots of positive points to suggest that it is worth looking after yourself when trying and the nature of reiki and its healing qualities, may aid relaxation and put your body into a more positive place when trying. What it can’t do is hurt you. The energy is gentle, natural and will help you work through the emotional stresses of the fertility journey. I believe that everyone is on a life journey, and the reiki can also assist in helping you to deal with the ups and down of that. It may be the case that you will experience miscarriage during your attempts, or may ultimately be unable to conceive even with help – but i also feel that the reiki treatments can help women – and men – to deal with this devastating situation and to find a positive way of dealing with it as an individual and, hopefully then, as a couple.

The beauty of the reiki is that it knows what each person needs and will guide them along their journey.  So far I have only worked with one person who was undergoing a fertility issue, along with several ladies during their pregnancies (  a future blog!) but I sincerely hope that I can work with other couples, as in fact it has turned out to be, and help them through in what ever way they need support.

In addition, I have found that Reiki pulls people towards it when they need it and usually gives you a good sign that it is right for you. If you feel that you want to investigate it, it will probably be worth your while – whether with me or any other therapist. Listen to your own body, and let it look after you.

Namaste

xxx

My fertility journey

Hi – this is my first post, so figured the best place for me to start was with my own journey.

Which in itself is a little bit scary, as in a place that is helping people who are finding it hard, I don’t want to be seen as a bit smug and insensitive to say that we caught the first time we started trying. Which we did.

However, our ttc was subject to quite a delay.

We planned to start ttc July 07  and felt that we were ready to see where we ended up.

However, in the January, I was signed off work due to infections and stress related to a family situation. Just as I was then about to go back to work, my sister took her own life and I was thrown into a world that before I had only seen in films.  Between march and may, I attended 3 funeral of close relatives.  I was working as a teacher, which of course is not known for being a stress free job, and with feeling isolated by friends, some of whom thought I would be “over it” by now, I found that I was in a constant state of stress and was also starting to lose my hair. It was definately no way to begin pregnancy so we decided to hold off, even though we really wanted to start our family. I knew my body – and mind- were just not up to it.  There was little available in terms of GP or councelling support, so in the end I started investigating alternative means of help.  I decided to have some Reiki treatments as a friend had previously practised on me in her training and found a local practitioner. ( I will blog more about this later). This really did help me relax -I had time to myself, to allow the positive energies involved in the Reiki to help me release the negative emotions that I needed to release. Through this, I started becoming aware of my own need to change. That I needed to do more exercise and to over all improve my physical and mental health. I had also been considering starting yoga classes, so when a children’s yoga teacher came to work with the children at school, I took my chance to give it a try.

After one session, I felt so energised and positive, I decided i wanted to join an adult class and really start finding out how good I could feel. I joined in with the class for a few more weeks and found i just felt better- more relaxed yet energised-each time.

In the mean time, I was feeling a lot brighter in myself, and for the want of a better word, human again, so we decided to ditch the contraception and start trying. I did check out where I was in my cycle, having been tracking it monthly and then using an online calculator to find out roughly when I was fertile but thought well, it could take a while so lets live for today and see what happens.

And, yes, we caught probably first or second time. I was convinced that it couldn’t be, having been so stressed for so long, yet there was the line on the stick telling me it was a bfp.

So I investigated antenatal yoga instead. When I got chatting to my yoga teachers, it turned out that yoga is often linked to the idea of helping with pregnancy. It is known to balance the mind, body and spirit, so perhaps adjusts the body internally too and gets parts set that things can just naturally “fall into place”. It also appears to be a common occurence that females who are training to be antenatal yoga teachers fall pregnant during the course, probably due to learning all the best practises to assist the body during pregnancy. Either way, I felt very strongly that the yoga really made a big difference, not least because i was so relaxed.

This is my little story, one that I am convinced was aided by the alternative paths I went down. I hope one day I  will become an adult yoga teacher as well and will be able to help  others on their path with yoga.

I have  been drawn to using Reiki in the fertility field as i feel that this too can make a remarkable difference, something i have already witnessed happen with a client. I am not saying that Reiki gets you pregnant, but it can definately help you relax.  And the relaxation part is something that comes up time and time again in relation to fertility.

I will continue to blog at another time and explain more about how I feel Reiki can help with fertility, with the aim that others will benefit from what I have experienced and what Reiki has to offer. And if neither of these things actually does help with the physical act of getting pregnant, it certainly doesn’t do the mental health of the mummy to be – or daddy to be- for that matter, any harm at all.

Namaste

How do you begin again after a miscarriage or failed IVF cycle?

How do you begin again?

After a miscarriage or failed IVF cycle, there is the inevitable question hanging in the air: Are we going to try again? It may be a given that you still want a baby, however the criteria for whether you are going to try to conceive and carry a pregnancy will have been affected by the recent lack of success with IVF, or the terrible end of your pregnancy. Whether you are on your own, or with a partner, the criteria you use to make your decisions may have changed and need to be looked at again.

If you are on Twitter, or you follow some of the infertility blogs, you may be familiar with some of the abbreviations used by women who are trying to conceive and have a baby. One that frequently tears at my heart is BFN:( . It means “big fat nothing,” as in not pregnant this month.  You examine and re-examine the dates on the calendar, plan your activities around the possibility that you might be pregnant by then, and spend money on pregnancy tests that you know are going to come out negative.  You may also have experienced the elation of finding out you were pregnant and whispering it to the chosen few you trusted to support you through those intial, very secretive and exciting days, only to have to return to them weeks later and explain that the pregnancy was over.

How do you begin again?

After a miscarriage or failed IVF cycle, there is the inevitable question hanging in the air: Are we going to try again? It may be a given that you still want a baby, however the criteria for whether you are going to try to conceive and carry a pregnancy will have been affected by the recent lack of success with IVF, or the terrible end of your pregnancy. Whether you are on your own, or with a partner, the criteria you use to make your decisions may have changed and need to be looked at again. You must consider your current health, age, fitness, need for medical intervention, financial position, other commitments and your doctor’s advice. Assuming that you have decided that you do want to try to conceive again, naturally or with assisted reproduction techniques, the next set of decisions will be about when you begin trying.

Your timing

“When can I try again?” is one of the first questions that will come up in a woman’s mind once she has determined to pursue another pregnancy. Opinion, even among medical professionals, varies. Some doctors will say that, all being well, 3 months is a good amount of time to wait after a miscarriage. Others will suggest that an otherwise healthy patient wait until after she has had one menstrual period before trying to conceive. I believe that readiness is a combination of having had a check-up by the doctor or nurse a few weeks after your miscarriage or IVF procedure, feeling well in yourself physically and determining that you and/or your partner are both emotionally prepared to take the risk again. Why do I use that word “risk?” While many women go on to achieve a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage, and IVF can certainly be successful on a subsequent attempt, there is a risk that they will not be successful. Can both of you gather all your resources together and steel yourself against that possibility or do you feel painfully vulnerable?

Are you up to it?

Miscarriage and fertility treatment are both hard on the body and can cause you to feel physically depleted.  This is exacerbated by the emotional toll that they take. It isn’t unusual for a woman to feel that she wants to, or has to, jump right back in and try again and simultaneously think that going through this process again is the last thing in the world she wants to do at that moment. Have you ever felt torn in that way? The reason for this dichotomy can be that you have not recovered fully and need to build up your strength and stamina. It may be worth asking your GP for a once-over health check, paying attention to your appetite, sleep, energy levels and hormone levels.

Your emotional wellbeing

It could also be that you are putting on a front, trying to fool yourself and others about how you are really coping. What you say and what you truly feel must be congruent, or the result could be additional stress, sleepless nights and high emotion.  There may be no doubt that you want a baby, but being pregnant may be another matter entirely. Do you feel resilient; as if you have been able to pick yourself up, put your disappointment aside and look forward to the future? Or, do you feel fearful or hopeless? Your thoughts will affect your behaviour and very possibly, your outcome.

If you are trying to conceive, while simultaneously thinking that it will never happen, or that it will end disastrously, you are draining your positive energy away from your goal. You are literally telling your body, that it will not function the way it is meant to do and reinforcing that message every time you let your mind obsess in this manner. Ovulation does not occur in a vacuum; it is dependent upon signals from your brain to your ovaries. Additionally, the stress caused by negativity has been known to interrupt reproductive function, which may affect your periods, ovulation, fertilisation and/or implantation of the embryo.

Your negative thoughts, sadness, anger and stress are all understandable responses to either a miscarriage or the disappointment of a failed IVF cycle. How quickly you move through various feelings or thought processes to a state of readiness is unique to your circumstances and how you respond. You may feel conflicting emotions and be confused as to whether you are ready to try to conceive again. If so, a fertility coach can help you isolate your feelings about your miscarriage or IVF experience. This can help you prevent or reverse the spill-over into your abilities, body, medical treatment, relationship and future.

Are you both ready?

It isn’t unusual for two people in a relationship to have different ideas about whether they are ready to try to conceive again. On the one hand, the woman may (erroneously) believe that the previous attempt is her fault and feel the need to make up for it or prove herself. She may be itching to try immediately, in contrast to her partner’s more measured approach. Even if this self-blame is not present, she may feel there isn’t any time to waste. Only she can truly know how strong and physically healthy she feels, so her partner is reliant upon the information she provides.  A partner may be concerned about her health and want to ensure the safety of a subsequent attempt to conceive.  On the other hand, I have had female clients whose partners want to sweep it all under the rug and move forward as if nothing has happened. She may be unready; lacking in self-confidence and feeling unsupported.

Marriages have broken down from the stress of trying to conceive. One party may feel less committed to the idea of having a child than the other, so that when the disappointments, difficulties and costs are tallied up, they decide that they don’t want to put everything into the attempt.  The sacrifices necessary to divert money from other dreams to fertility treatment may be more than one is willing to make. To contemplate trying to conceive only for your partner’s sake, or while you are unsure, will only add to the stresses you will have to endure.

The best advice I can give any couple in this situation is to talk. Be open about how you feel, what the loss meant and how you want to proceed now. If either of you are unable to communicate effectively without someone teasing the words out of you, get someone to act as a facilitator. A good fertility coach will help the two of you say what you really think and feel; not imposing her own ideas or taking sides. Perhaps a joint visit to your GP or gynaecologist will help the two of you find mutual ground.

Just knowing when it’s right

As quickly as it came over, an emotional cloud can lift. A new day, an overheard inspiring word, reassurance from someone you trust or just some release inside of you; any of these can shift how you feel about beginning the process of conception over again.  You may not be able to explain it to someone else, but you just know you are ready.  If trying again feels right and you can maintain that feeling for a few calm days (no roller-coaster emotions and changing of mind), trust your instincts. Only you can know for sure.

Lisa Marsh is the owner of Your Great Life, a fertility coaching and advocacy business in Stanmore, North London. She also writes for her own blog; http://yourgreatlife.typepad.co.uk.   You can follow her on Twitter @yourgreatlife. Contact Lisa for individual or couples fertility coaching, via phone or office visits, or to find out about educational workshops on fertility issues from menstruation to menopause: Tel #011-44 (0)20 8954 2897 or email lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk

A Positive Change For Fertility Solutions Programme

My Fertility Solutions sessions no longer contain Theta Healing I now use Life Upgrade with all my Fertility clients.  If you have read some of my other blogs you may well be wondering why I have made this change.

What Life Upgrade has done for me.

I have adapted the way I work because of my own experiences and what I have found to be helpful for myself.  I have found Life Upgrade transformational in supporting my own well being and reproductive health.  I have successfully used Life Upgrade in my day-to-day life to lower my stress levels.  Not only has Life Upgrade helped me reduce stress it has also improved my physical health.  I have Endometriosis and up until recently have experienced debilitating pain for 1-3 days each month.  I have found that through using Life Upgrade tools I can manage my pain.  I am now able to be active on those days when formerly I would have been unable to move.  I have seen such a dramatic shift in the pain I experience I firmly believe it is possible for me to experience a period without pain if I continue to use Life Upgrade tools.

So What is Life Upgrade?

Rather than an alternative therapy, Life Upgrade is a system which allows you to become more present in your day-to-day life.  It gives you simple tools that support the release of negative thoughts running through your conscious and subconscious mind which have such an impact on the way you feel.  Letting go of those thoughts and feelings allows you to move forward and live your life, whatever else is going on.  In doing this you are also supporting your well-being as a whole, physically and emotionally, as when we are in the present moment our body and mind is free from the distractions that create ill health and unhappiness.  The beauty of it is it is truly empowering; you are the one in control, you can deal with those thoughts and emotions as they come up rather than having to wait for your next session with a practitioner.

What does this mean for Fertility Solutions?

The framework for the Fertility Solutions is still the same.  There is a Free Initial Consultation so I can assess your needs followed by six sessions specifically designed for you as an individual.  Through each session I will guide you through Life Upgrade tools to support your health and well-being.  From the first planned session you will be able to take home the basic tools and use them in your own time.  Using the Life Upgrade tools consistently will transform your Fertility Journey so you can continue to live your life and find enjoyment, what is more living in the moment increases your chances of conception.  The programme still involves hypnosis CDs to support your Fertility Journey.

Who is Fertility Solutions Suitable For?

Fertility Solutions is suitable for anyone who is on their fertility journey and would like to support themselves to cope better from day-to-day.  It is suitable for those who are experiencing ‘unexplained infertility’ and those with physical symptoms which are effecting their fertility (e.g. Polycystic Ovaries, Endometriosis, Fibroids and other complaints).  It is suitable for those who simply wish to improve their reproductive health and those who have decided to end their fertility journey and wish to live a fulfilling life without children.

Thank you to our fertility blog contributors

We have some really great contributors on our fertility blog and we can not thank them enough for their contributions.  They keep the infertility blog fresh and offer differing views & experiences of the world of infertility, and we feel really lucky to have them share their experinces with us.

We are always on the lookout for contributors to the fertility blog. If you think that you would like to become a contributor on this fertility blog you do not need to be an expert in the field of infertility (although of course fertility experts are always very welcome) You may simply want to share your experiences of infertility.

If you would like to become a contributor on the blog please do get in touch either by leaving us a message in comments or by e-mailing kate@adtuk.co.uk 

If you have a fertility or infertility story that you would like to share, but you do not wish to be a contributor on the blog then e-mail it to us and we will publish it anonymously. Many of our readers do this already so that we can share their infertility stories & experiences with you.

Select the sources of your information about infertility carefully to avoid overwhelm

We now seem flooded with so many references to infertility that many of the information and resources currently available are being overlooked. Infertility and IVF have almost become ubiquitous topics in the health sections of major newspapers and monthly magazines, like weight loss, skin care and cosmetic surgery. Infertility support websites, forums and blogs abound, but even if an infertile person belongs to dozens of them, how many can they actually read and appreciate? I check out as many as 10 new infertility resources a day, and I can tell you that there is a wide range of depth and quality of the information available.

Is there too much information about infertility available now?

My first instinct would be to say “no, absolutely not!” There are women and men out there who don’t know nearly enough about the road ahead of them as they begin to wonder why they haven’t conceived yet.

Anyone who has been diagnosed as infertile and doesn’t know what to do next, where to get support or the pros and cons of treatment, has a steep learning curve. There’s also the potential of vital time being wasted as overwhelm sets in and incapacitates infertile people who need to research, reflect and agree. On top of these first-hand needs, there’s the need to promote public awareness about the physical, emotional and financial aspects of infertility; to promote sensitivity, encourage medical science, motivate regulatory change and improve access to treatment.

However, we now seem flooded with so many references to infertility that many of the information and resources currently available are being overlooked. Courses, conferences and symposiums are going begging for attendance; whether aimed at professionals or the prospective patient. Infertility and IVF have almost become ubiquitous topics in the health sections of major newspapers and monthly magazines, like weight loss, skin care and cosmetic surgery. Infertility support websites, forums and blogs abound, but even if an infertile person belongs to dozens of them, how many can they actually read and appreciate?

I check out as many as 10 new infertility resources a day, and I can tell you that there is a wide range of depth and quality of the information available. It can be incredibly confusing for the newly diagnosed or freshly motivated infertile person to encounter. How do you know who to follow, what to attend or how much validity to give to a particular expert, whether professional or from personal experience?

Ten tips for fighting infertility information overload

  1. Browse – Whether on the internet, at an event or looking through the back of a magazine, take the time to investigate all of the groups putting out information about infertility.
  2. Ask for information – One fantastic aspect of social media is being able to pose a question to the universe and get an answer. It’s like Google info + opinion in one.
  3. Go by recommendations – If you see something you like posted on Twitter or Facebook by people you respect and like, chances are that you will like the sites they like.
  4. Categorize – Balance is everything when your mind is focused on one subject: infertility. So gather and categorize resources. Ex. medical information, emotional support, infertility news, beautiful writing, humour, etc.
  5. Find the right site for your personality – If you want to share your test results down to the nth degree of detail with others who understand the numbers, find the right site for that. Others may just want to share feelings.
  6. Look at an event’s content before registering – Some of the biggest events are more about selling you treatment and travel options rather than giving you substantive information. It’s great to know about providers and get a chance to talk with them, but you don’t just want to go home with loads of brochures for the bin. Are there seminars offered at the event? Is there a Question & Answer period?
  7. Don’t join everything – One of the greatest causes of overwhelm can be too many email newsletters flooding your inbox. Instead, try bookmarking or Favourite the blogs and websites you find and go to them occasionally, until you decide how useful they are.
  8. Leave comments where asked – Give feedback after articles, on blogs, on forums and at events telling how useful, enjoyable and accessible you found them, or where they missed the mark.
  9. Support the infertility resources you do value: When you have found an excellent resource, help keep it afloat by paying the membership price, buying the entry ticket, book or magazine, nominating the blog for an award, Tweeting the link, or donating to the charity.
  10. De-clutter – If you look back a month and see repeated, unopened emails from infertility groups or blogs, take the pressure off yourself by clicking on “Unsubscribe.” You can always visit those sites and blogs if and when you find extra time.

Fight the overabundance of information and overwhelm by singling out the good resources by quality and deleting or ignoring the rest.  Likewise, if you think a particular health journalist is doing a great job, champion their efforts by replying when appropriate and posting links to their work on Twitter and Facebook. Don’t be afraid to make a comment rating the value of what’s out there on infertility. It’s worth showing a bit of loyalty to a particular source too: It’s a win-win situation.  You can develop a rewarding rapport with a blogger or a group of contributors to a forum. You may also qualify for special deals on publications and events. Your membership, visits and purchases help their stats, which raises their profile and/or brings in revenue.

Readership is everything, so if you aren’t supporting the less-than-helpful information providers, they will get the point eventually. Remember, it’s not about how much information you can take in; it’s about the quality and usefulness of that information.

Lisa Marsh is the owner of Your Great Life, which provides one-to-one and couples’ fertility coaching, educational seminars, support groups and advocacy for matters related to women’s health, infertility and family-building. Contact Lisa by email lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk or by following her on Twitter @yourgreatlife.

How Successful is the Fertility Solutions Programme?

This question has come up a few times in conversation with people lately so I thought I would write about it in this blog.

It’s a relevant question but one that is difficult to answer because it depends on your criteria for success.  I cannot use pregnancy rates to gauge success because not all my clients want to become pregnant as a result of their sessions (some come to me for their reproductive health, rather than to conceive).  I can say that all the clients I have had have reported back that they have felt better in some way.

Those coming to me for reproductive health, Fibroids or Endometriosis for example, have told me they have noticed a shift in their symptoms after their sessions.

After specialising in Fertility Solutions for just over a year 3 of the women I have worked with are now pregnant or have had their baby.  One of these women listened to the hypnosis CDs alone the others also had Theta Healing.

Some of the women I have been working with are still planning to conceive and some of those have chosen to use medical intervention.  However all the women who are still planning for their babies have said that the programme has supported them to cope on their Fertility Journey in some way.  Some have said they are less stressed, others find they are no longer upset about seeing other women with babies and I have also supported women to feel at peace with past abortions or miscarriages.

So Fertility Solutions is not just about pregnancy rates, it is about enhancing reproductive health, supporting the over all well-being and in doing so it also gives couples their best chance of conception.

I offer a free initial consultation so you can find out if Fertility Solutions is the right choice for you. Contact me for more details.

Are there Natural Solutions to Endometriosis?

As a Fertility Solutions Practitioner I am trained to specialise in the area of Reproductive Health.  Clients come to me when they are planning to conceive however I also get clients who simply wish to improve their reproductive health.

Fertility Solutions has been specifically developed to explore issues which effect reproductive health including Endometriosis.

When working with a client who has Endometriosis I will explore the subconscious beliefs effecting the symptoms.  Having been trained by Tracy Holloway, a renowned Fertility Specialist, I have her suggestions from years of experience working in this area. However each session is unique as it is designed to meet the needs of the individual.  Once the unhelpful beliefs have been found it is possible to release them using Theta Healing.

Fertility Solutions promotes relaxation, using hypnosis, which supports the healing process.  It is also possible to get pregnant with Endometriosis by addressing the symptoms and increasing the chances of conception.  By healing the mind you heal the body.

Fertility Solutions can help the symptoms of Endometriosis including (but not exclusively):

Pelvic pain (Chronic)

‘Infertility’

Endometriosis and bladder pain

Endometriosis and bowel pain

Painful intercourse

Irregular bleeding

Cysts

Spotting (bleeding before period is due)

Heavy periods

Extreme tiredness

Endometriosis adhesions

Ovarian endometriosis

Fertility Solutions is a simple yet effective programme which aims to give clients their best chance of conception by addressing the whole person including physical symptoms like Endometreosis.  I am experienced in working in the area of Reproductive Health and am sensitive to the individual needs of my clients.  Contact me for your Free Initial Consultation to find out if  Fertility Solutions is right for you.

TLC For TTC

When we use the acronym TLC for tender loving care, we generally mean one person to another. However, I believe that it’s also to spend some time and effort on your own behalf.  I promote self-care in all areas of an infertile person’s life, both for emotional wellbeing and to maximize the chance of conception.  It’s not as easy as saying we will make changes.  It requires a positive attitude, a desire to change and taking action. I have to work at it too. This is part my own ongoing self-development, and being aware of it helps me understand a client’s efforts and difficulties. Success requires:

  • Self-awareness;
  • Honesty;
  • Motivation; and
  • Follow-through

The self-awareness that is required in order to improve lifestyle choices is:  1) knowing your own habitual way of operating, and 2) identifying the areas in your life which have a potential to be neglected, as a result. Even if others perceive a decline regarding your health, and tell you, it won’t make much difference until you can admit it to yourself. This realization may not be triggered until the connection is made between your choices (healthy sleep, eating, alcohol, exercise, hygiene, nutrition and/or medication) and the delay or absence of conception.   

The stress related to infertility can be unhealthy in itself, but in some ways, stress can actually provoke necessary action. If your fertility clinic delays your IVF cycle until you lose weight, stop smoking or bring down your blood pressure, it will force self-awareness, require honesty and provide motivation.  Honesty is an admission of the state you are in and your responsibility for it. It’s most important to be honest with yourself.  However, honesty with someone else about your difficulty in giving up a bad habit can be rewarded with support and helpful suggestions.  Choose the person who is likely to support your efforts the most, rather than a person who will express disapproval, criticize you and say I told you so

Motivation is what propels you forward. If becoming pregnant and having your own baby is the paramount issue in your life, then you have a motivator that is easy to visualize. You have probably thought and talked of little else lately, so it’s fresh.  Write down everything about pregnancy and motherhood that you daydream about, starting with the line on the pregnancy-test stick, to going to the playground with a group of friendly mothers, all with your babies in strollers. Your list may include:

  • Joy of telling my husband “we are pregnant;”
  • Feeling the physical signs of pregnancy;
  • Having a pregnant belly;
  • Picking baby names;
  • Shopping for cute baby clothes…and so on.

Next to each point, put a check mark if it is motivational or an X for something that won’t motivate you to work a bit harder on self-care.  If having a baby is your most important aim right now, use these motivators when reaching for a pint of ice cream, a cigarette, or a gin and tonic.

Just talking about making changes is not enough; it means nothing without follow-through. It’s one thing to identify what you need to do, another to honestly assess where you are falling short and still another to finding that which will prompt action on your part. The last piece of the puzzle is taking action, or following through on your commitment. This is where most people begin to feel like it’s all too much work. 

With infertility, you could be on this self-improvement course for months or years without yet achieving your ultimate goal: the baby.  Having only a long-term reward in sight, no matter how important, can’t always keep you going, especially when you may also be experiencing other challenges in your personal, social and work life.  Several short and medium-term rewards will work better to motivate you; so build them in to your scheme every few weeks.  Focus on one area for a while, to the point that you are satisfied that you have embedded a new habit. Reap a reward, and then add the next goal.

Ask for help. Do not just nominate a person to support you, putting the responsibility for action elsewhere, rather than on yourself. No one wants to be put in the position of nagging you and earning your resentment.  If you feel unable to do it on your own, consider partnering up with another woman who is also trying to conceive.  Alternatively, if there is an area of self-care that you and your partner both need to work on; such as weight loss, or giving up caffeine, you could have it easier if you both tackle it at the same time.  Agreeing to hold each other accountable for your commitments is a good way of keeping honest.

With the amount of hard work it takes to improve our habits and increase our self-care, it would be a shame not to sustain the positive results. In coaching clients, I have seen people who think that once they have heard something, they are capable of putting it into action.  However, hearing and learning are two distinctly different things.  You need to understand why you weren’t taking care of yourself before.  You must be equipped with the tools to counteract temptation and subconscious habits. You need to develop trust – a belief that you are deserving of TLC. This takes time to embed.

Every once in a while take a stock-check of your emotional and physical health, taking care to note where they may have declined. Go back to the beginning by reflecting on your attitude, behaviour and effort.  You will have already learned the methods needed for improvement, so a reminder will set you back on a healthy path. Use positive affirmations such as EFT techniques to embed the new learning. Why? Because you’re worth it.

Lisa Marsh is a fertility coach, working with individuals and couples to enhance their chances of conception, reduce stress and carry a healthy pregnancy among other things.  She has a fertility blog http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com, coaches in person in North London, and by phone in the UK and internationally.  You can contact Lisa for coaching on lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk .  You can follow Lisa on Twitter @yourgreatlife to get great Fertility Support and Miscarriage Support tips, as well as links to news, her articles and connect with others in the IF community.

Fertility Solutions and Physical Healing

The Fertility Solutions programme uses mind body techniques to address reproductive health.  Mind Body techniques work with the mind in order to heal the body and there is growing evidence to show that working on the mind will affect the health of the body.  Stress is a perfect example, it is widely accepted that reducing stress has a positive affect on the physical body, strengthening the immune system and reducing the risk of heart attack for some.

Fertility Solutions uses Theta Healing to address physical symptoms. A Fertility Solutions Practitioner will have experience working with couples who have physical symptoms affecting their fertility; PCOS, endometriosis or fibroids for example.  Using Theta Healing it is possible to explore the mind’s influence on the physical body and release issues which are contributing to the symptoms being experienced.

Some people who find they have physical symptoms, which affect their fertility, will have suffered with bereavement or shock and trauma. In fact emotions such as shame, guilt, worthlessness, resentment and anger will stress the body if left unaddressed may result on an adverse effect on physical health.

As the programme uses mind body techniques it offers couples the opportunity to address their fertility without any invasive procedures and lays the foundations to give couples their best chance of conceiving.  Similarly it is useful for those who have chosen to use medical intervention (e.g. IVF) as it can address any stresses or issues that arise throughout treatment.

So Fertility Solutions supports the whole person; it addresses both the physical and emotional body. Whatever physical symptoms or emotional stresses you are experiencing on your Fertility Journey the Fertility Solutions Programme can help.

Fertility Solutions and Medical Intervention

Choosing medical intervention to conceive is not always an easy decision and certainly not one made lightly.  Experiencing ‘infertility’ is very stressful and adding invasive medical procedures to this can only increase stress.  Couples who are at the stage of medical intervention on their Fertility Journey are likely to be aware of how stress affects their well-being and fertility.

Fertility Solutions supports the whole person using hypnosis and Theta Healing, those going through assisted conception can use the programme to support their journey and reduce stress.  The hypnosis CDs are designed to relax and support fertility, there are those which have been recorded specifically for couples going through medical procedures.  For example there is one to encourage relaxation and the natural stimulation of the chemicals needed within your body to support conception, another designed to support the egg once conception has taken place, especially helpful for women who may be afraid of a miscarriage.

Along side the Hypnosis, Theta Healing allows couples to address any emotions or physical symptoms that may be affecting their fertility.  It is possible to support assisted conception by addressing any issues around the medical treatments for example; this in turn will aid relaxation and increase the chances of a successful pregnancy.

As a Fertility Solutions Practitioner my aim is to support my clients best chance of conception.  The programme allows us to address the whole person, physically and emotionally awakening creative power and increasing the chances of conception taking place.

Do you love to blog ? Would you like to write for our fertility blog ?

We have some really great guest fertility bloggers, and are always on the lookout for new contributors for this fertility blog. If you would like to join our team of contributors please do get in touch.

You can blog about anything fertility related including your personal ttc journey or fertility/ infertility experiences

We are also looking for fertility experts. Are you working in a field of fertility or are in complementary medicine, and would like to share your knowledge and wisdom with our readers ? Would you like to blog about your particular field and how it relates to fertility as a specialist contributor on our fertility blog ?

If you would like to be a guest fertility blogger or contributor please e-mail us or post in comments and we will e-mail you.

Any e-mail address or personal info you leave in comments is kept private

Diary of trying for a baby and eventally having a baby

13th September 2005 Miscarriage @ 6-7 weeks (First) 5th July 2006 Miscarriage @ 12 week went for 12 week scan told called a blighted ovum there was a sac and no baby but the sac was still producing the pregnancy hormones (Second) 9th November 2006 1st appointment at hospital- history 13th November 1st 2006 blood test x7 Inc rubella test @ day 3-5 plus sperm analysis  

December 6th 2006 2nd blood test @ 27 days 

December 2006 18th  Internal scan all ok,  

4th January 07 2nd consultation said it’s not ploy cystic ovaries and that, send us for chromosome tests and said about having scan to check my fallopian tubes appointment never came through and I never chased as I do seem to ovulated as have fallen pregnant before .all tests have come back normal. 

8th March 2007 all test have come back normal, now prescribed clomid to take on day 2 of my cycle 

31 March 2007 pregnant again 3 time lucky 

30 May 2007 went for 8 weeks scan baby only 2.3 mm and no heartbeat told to come back 06 May 2007 started to bleed slightly, called hospital told to wait!! 

08 June 2007 another internal scan baby now 6mm still no heartbeat advised to wait a week again. They say it’s suspicious as baby grown, don’t know how has grown as no heartbeat detected. 

08 June 2007 Miscarriage @ 10 weeks Same day very bad pains and bleeding later on in evening lost a big clot so have miscarried again at 10 weeks. (Third)  

13 June 2007 another internal scan to check everything came out, and everything has so I don’t need to have a D & C. 

15 June 2007, another appointment to see Consultant, got questions to ask don’t seem to have trouble falling there must be something else going on have read about this condition called ,Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS). A couple of blood test would rule this out, and will ask about embryo screening is suitable. Ran these tests all normal again. 

25 July 2007 saw dr. again said that the tests for asp came back normal and that he cannot find anything wrong! He has put me on clomid for another two months. I was supposed to have another scan but he had not made arrangements for that so will have to have in few weeks to rule out or diagnose poly cystic ovaries again! Asked for test for thyroid and blood sugar. Will next see him 25 October unless I fall pregnant in between, and if I do need to call up straight away! He said would treat me differently next time, I will definitely push for blood tests next time. 

18 October 2007 another scan to check for poly cystic ovaries, I was supposed to have this re checked 4 months ago; I am starting to get really annoyed. Cont.- saw consultant and was too upset to ask about the embryo screening, asked for blood test for Antiphospholipid (test came back ok) syndrome. Want to see me in 6 weeks to have a scan again for poly cystic ovaries really confused don’t have a clue why he doing that again when he ruled it out months ago. 

I will be seeing Dr a again, in 3 months time, let’s see was he says or does this time, I am staring to lose confidence in them at the hospital 

I have just read every something on the internet that said with every miscarriage chances of a successful pregnancy go down with 3 miscarriages go down to 60%. 25 October 2007 saw Dr a again told him I was a bit fed up, he said that understandable. Has requested I have a laparoscopy to see what going on and if need be drain my ovaries. Won’t bill until January time. And just realised have no follow up appointment. No more medication given so will just have to wait until the operation. 

3rd January 2008 had laparoscopy and they drilled my ovaries and checked my fallopian tubes, (was very painful on the night I had it done) the following days then started to feel a bit better until it got infected., was given another course of anti bionics, but 2 day after needed stronger ones. My ovaries were poly cystic, but have sorted that out, hopefully. Has prescribed 2 months of Clomid.    Feb. 2008 still not had period yet done 3 test all negative, but boobs feel bigger, will probably come on in next few days I really hope I do fall pregnant soon think Mike and I would be good parents.  

05 February 2008 came on, and on day 2 started to take clomid again. 

29th February been feeling ill all week migraine and or sickness and today upset stomach, been hoping because I am pregnant but probably just due on. Going to have this every month. 

5 march 2008 came on! so not preg, 2nd lot of clomid, finger crosses for this, month. Have good new mike and I are now engaged. 

15 then 22 May now 29 2008, 3rd time they have changed it!!  To see doc A again, it’s so far away, thought I may have had an appointment sooner, but I guess he feels I will fall pregnant in mean time. 

 29th may went to see doc a again now given me another drug similar to clomid called  letrozole that is not licence as a fertility drug which is really scary.. But seem to only be a problem if taken when pregnant not before, as does not stay in body long and it’s a steroid… Scary stuff  Next appoint been sent through 4th sept then changed again already too  11 th September!! Let’s see if they change it again. And guess what yet another letter they have cancelled it again now 18th sept getting stupid now, unless I fall pregnant between then o=and now I will not be happy as it will be13 2-3 months without any treatment. 

July 22 2008 have been on first course of Letrozole and still not come on, on 42 days now, I have done a pregnant test and not pregnant. Though the tablets were supposed to make me more regular, but did the ovulation test and they came up negative so looks like I did not ovulate this month. Had second course cycle getting longer not good not at 47 day 

4 sept saw doc a little bit worried why my cycle are so long especially when on those tablets going to sent me for another scan on 2nd and follow up appointment on 9th October 2008 to see what is going o and whether pco have come back. 

2nd October had scan and poly cystic ovaries is back that if it every went away going back to see doc a next week  

9th October 2008 dr given me metformin and letrozole again double the dose , the tab make me feel ill, the met are also an appetite suppressant great 

Wrote to dr as losing weight now under 6 stone, have brought forward the hospital appointment to 22 Jan 09 which is good. Told him I have taken my self off the tablets now.( mike having problems happened a few time  think it’s the stress so let’s see what he does next) 

220109 referral for ivf. Was really shocked did not think they would offer that yet. Think I need to put to weight, I weight 6 stone 4f 11 think I need to be at least 7 stone. Over-wise they may refuse to do ivf. Do not want to delay any longer. Both have to go for blood test. 

25/01/09 blood tests mike hep bcore antibody and hiv antibodyMe same hep bcore antibody and hiv antibody and fsh lh and oestradiol 

01/04/09 Went for first appointment up BARTS in London, mike sperm count down so have to go back on, did Rubella test which should have been done at Southend hospital 2/5 years ago!! And been told been put on waiting list 1-4 months! Want to start now really fed up with waiting. May have to do icis as low sperm count 

07/04/09 re do sperm test, results back and all ok 

15/05/2009 shock horror ect I am pregnant without treatment, called Barts but they said as I have not started I  there not responsible for my care and told me to go to gp asap to get some progesterone 

15/05/2009 when to doc refused to give me progesterone, sent me around to see nurses who were annoyed that doc p had sent me around there… Told me to see midwife next Wednesday 

20/05/2009 saw midwife was really nice and said may be if you see another doctors he may prescribe progesterone, so saw another doc and he refused as well, so annoyed I could cry. He has fax my original doc dr A and asked him to contact me, we wait and see; (by the time I get a prescription it will be too late thanks NHS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!!!) 

22/05/2009 dr A prescribed the progesterone yippee told too take 2 every day u to 14 weeks. 

10/05/2009 first scan 8 weeks and 1 day baby 17 mm heart beat 181bpm
10/07/2009 12 week plus 3 days nt scan. Heartbeat 158bpm. Belly at 12 weeks and 2 days 

The NT scan showed a very increased fold which could indicate down, so referred to kings on Monday 

13/07/09 they did another scan baby and fold had grown 1 in 5 chances of downs. Had cvs sampling down were they take some of the baby placenta, really hurt. Have to wait up to 3 weeks for results. 

17/07/2009 first lot of tests to rule out in rule out down triomsy 13 and 18, going to check for more condition wait again. 

31/07/2009 brought a heart beat monitor so I can hear baby’s heart beat. 

03/08/2009 2nd lot of results in and all ok for what they tested for. Yeah can believe it. 

04/08/2009  now weigh 6, stone 12 so put on 8lbs already still don’t feel pregnant boobs are bit bigger and tummy pocking out a bit. 

07/09/09 kings again heart scan seems to be ok and baby growing as it should not she on length but weight is 15 oz nearly 1lb, got to go back in 4 weeks to check growth, been given 10 – 15 % chance something is wrong but will not know until baby is born, they’re going to test for one more condition but will not tell us what it is because we would find out the sex if I then came how and goggled it! Not sure how long I have to wait, here another picture.  

23/09/2009 had pre term scan and uses what everything ok. Cervix 31mm which is great anything fewer than 15mm would mean high risk of prem birth. Also blood pressure risk also ok.  

05/10/2009 hospital again baby grown they say bigger than average at 2lbs 1 oz already. Ouch, said slightly more amniotic fluid, and said the condition they were testing fr is Noonan’s but this affect both sex so a little confused, as he said last time that he would not tell us the condition as we would then know the sex of baby.    

20/10/2009 called kings to chase results of the above test, they said they have cancelled the request for the test as felt baby does not have that condition. Would have been nice to have been told 

26/10/2009 glucose test all ok yippee, made me feel so sick 

27/10/2009  28 week scan all ok say baby is now 3lbs 3 oz, still say rather large for dates. Still say something may be wrong so no update yet, still have to wait until baby is born.  

18/11/2009 fundal height measures at 32 cm= 32 weeks and iam 31 weeks and 1 day so slightly bigger than I should be. (37 inc belly measurements.)Picture of my belly at 30 weeks pregnant. I weigh 8stone now, so put on 1 stone and 10oz 

2/11/2009   32 weeks scan up to kings again. Baby now 4lbs and 10oz. 

09/12/2009 when to see consultant said may not be able to have epidural because of nf so shocked said only way would be to have MRI scan, he will look into whether it’s safe to have when you’re pregnant. 

18/12/09 scan and consultant. Baby now 6lbs and 6 oz they concerned so big so re doing that horrid sugar test asap. Recon at this rate will be 8/9 lbs 

22/12/2009 mri scan to see if any lumps in spine so I can have epidural if I need it. Had scan got to wait for results, was scary so confined. Belly at 36 weeks. Then few hours later had bleeding so went into hospital.Dr R actually came to see me!! Talk about concerns may be having c section at 39 weeks! Which would make it 12 Jan time? 

23/12/2009 sugar test again and midwife all ok 

08/01/10 scan and consultant will be 38 weeks plus 3days. Baby estimated weight is 7lbs 7oz. Said best to try for normal birth and they will monitor baby and me closely, if not had by due date will be induced on 20th at 8am 

19/01/2010 baby due. Called hospital at said to wait so called back 2 hours later as in so much pain, told to wait again and on 3rd call they told me to come in. I was examined by one midwife who said I was sonly 1cm dilated and said I would have to go home! Told her there is no way I can go home as I was in so much pain, she got a 2nd opinion and I was in fact 8cm dilated!!!! There was no time for pain relief just gas and air and baby Charlie born on due date at 5.11pm weight 8lb 10oz. and all seems ok. 

Hot flushes

Been having hot flushes particularly bad at night for months and months now. I have been putting it down to stress but am beginning to wonder if there is more to it.

I finally decided to go see me doctor and stop burying my head in the sand and yes she thinks I may be peri-menopausal. She has arranged for me to have some blood tests done so we can see what the state of play is. She thinks it is a sign that my ovarian reserve is low.

Good news is I feel a huge sense of relief after going to see her, and the hot flushes have stopped. Even better news is I think I ovulated last week.

Will keep you posted. Get results next week.

Making Changes to your Lifestyle to Increase Fertility.

Reading up on what you can do to help your fertility shows that there are many things that couples can do themselves to increase their fertility.  There is a lot of good advice out there for couples for example:

  • Reduce stress
  • Eat organically
  • Stop smoking
  • Cut out alcohol
  • Cut out caffeine

Although it is reassuring to realise that it is possible to make a difference to your fertility by changing your lifestyle, some may find that they need a complete change in order to give themselves the best chance of conception.  This may be overwhelming, but you don’t need to go through those changes alone. 

Using the support of Fertility Solutions means that you can gracefully shift and things such as stopping smoking and cutting out caffeine become manageable changes.  Using Theta Healing it is possible to work with the subconscious to address the beliefs and perceptions which are behind addictive habits like smoking, and allow clients to tackle their lifestyle changes more effectively. 

Reducing stress is another aspect of lifestyle that some may find a challenge to shift.  The Fertility Solutions Programme includes hypnosis CDs to support your relaxation, reduce stress and prepare your body’s fertility.  This is an effective way to tackle stress by simply listening to a hypnosis CD once a day.  After listening regularly clients experience a gentle shift in their lifestyles allowing them to reduce stress successfully.

Each Fertility Journey is different and some couples may find that a change of lifestyle is all they need to successfully conceive however that doesn’t mean to say everyone find these changes easy to achieve.  The Fertility Solutions Programme is designed to meet the individual needs of the client, therefore each session will be adapted for you to give you the best chance of conception.

Would you like to do a blog spot on our fertility blog ?

We have some really great guest fertility bloggers, and are always on the lookout for new contributors for this fertility blog. If you would like to join our team of contributors please do get in touch. You can blog about anything fertility related including your personal ttc journey or fertility/ infertility experiences

We are also looking for fertility experts. Are you working in a field of fertility or are in complementary medicine, and would like to share your knowledge and wisdom with our readers ? Would you like to blog about your particular field and how it relates to fertility as a specialist contributor on our fertility blog ?

If you would like to be a guest fertility blogger or contributor please e-mail us or post in comments and we will e-mail you.

Any e-mail address or personal info you leave in comments is kept private

Theta Healing and Fertility

Theta Healing is and energy healing which allows us to explore and release the memories we hold which may be blocking our full potential.  The Fertility Solutions Programme uses Theta Healing and Hypnosis to gently discover and release any beliefs, memories or emotions that may be blocking conception.  The process can also address physical symptoms such as PCOS.

<!–[if !supportEmptyParas]–> Tracy Holloway developed the Fertility Solutions Programme after years of working in the area of fertility.  Tracy has worked as a Hypnotherapist, Psychologist and Theta Practitioner who is renowned in the area of fertility.  She has brought together her rich knowledge and experience to develop the unique programme which explores the well being of the whole person in order to support their reproductive health.

<!–[if !supportEmptyParas]–> Using Theta Healing it is possible to address physical symptoms which may be affecting fertility, for example PCOS, Fibroids, Endometriosis and Sperm motility (to name a few).  It is also possible to address emotional issues which affect couples who are experiencing fertility challenges.  Many of my female clients will talk to me about their grieving each time their period arrives.  They describe their fertility journey as a roller coaster ride. They have hope during the month then the grieving starts as their cycle begins again.  Using the Fertility Solutions Programme it is possible for women to view each cycle as a positive thing, their body is working in the way that will make pregnancy possible at some point in the future, rather than a setback.  Sometimes a simple relieving of stress is enough to support conception.

<!–[if !supportEmptyParas]–> One thing that is important to remember is each couple is unique, their journey is unique and they will conceive in their own time.  In other words it’s best not to compare yourselves with others because everyone’s journey is different.  Using the Fertility Solutions programme it is possible to address the emotional stresses and strains and focus on other areas of your life (enjoying your relationship for example) rather than relying on conception to bring happiness.  By addressing both physical and emotional aspects of fertility it is possible to have your best chance of conception.

Finding Support for Your Infertility

How do you find the support you need for your infertility?  Regardless of how you came to be infertile or what your goal, it can be a challenge to find someone who not only empathizes with your situation, but also is prepared to be there for you on either an emotional or practical level. You may wonder why, for something so fundamental to your happiness, someone wouldn’t want to be counted in your support network. 

Why You May Not Be Getting the Support You Need from Logical Sources

  1. They believe that you must be responsible for your infertility somehow.
  2. Your partner is ambivalent about becoming a father or mother.
  3. You want to be a single parent.
  4. You are not married to your partner.
  5. You are in a gay relationship and they believe every child needs a father
  6. They are infertile also and worry they will lose you to a baby and mom-friends.
  7. It’s your boss. Doctor appointments and maternity leave will inconvenience them.
  8. People think you should be grateful that you already have one child.
  9. They are jealous of the attention and sympathy you get for your infertility.
  10. They are too wrapped up in their own life to realize you need them.

Those people may not realize they are being unsupportive. What is obvious to you may not occur to them.  An example:  your mother phoning you daily with details of her friend’s daughter’s pregnancy.  “What do you mean? I thought you would be happy for her.” Or, someone may think if you needed them you would ask and you haven’t.

They may be judgmental.  “Well if she hadn’t (pick one) a) taken such a stressful job, b) had that abortion years ago, c) waited so long or d) gained so much weight, she wouldn’t be in this situation now.” In fact, almost the entire list comes from people judging you and your condition by their own values, rather than stepping into your shoes to think what it must be like to be you.  However, you may be able to turn their attitude around.

First, look at your own responsibility for the situation and take ownership of it.  In that way, you will be less likely to assign blame, feel resentment and put other people on the defensive.

  1. Have you failed to let people know about your infertility? (Most can’t read minds.)
  2. Have you made it so much a part of your identity that you sound like a broken record?
  3. Have you not been there for them when they needed your support?
  4. Have you isolated yourself from all your friends who have children?
  5. Have you held back on congratulations toward a sister-in-law, cousin or colleague who has had a baby?
  6. Did you previously fail to show empathy toward someone else who was infertile?
  7. Do you whine too much?
  8. Have you lost your perspective?
  9. Have you made sex seem like a chore, obliterating the romance and passion in the bedroom?

If you don’t keep up your work, friendships, social or sport activities, you may become “out of sight, out of mind.” If you no longer accept invitations, people may assume you no longer want or need their company.  Though it may seem logical to you and very unfair to compare the situations, a friend who has had a difficult pregnancy or birth, postnatal depression, has a colicky baby or has had a miscarriage, may feel that you have not supported her when she needed you.  It isn’t your friend’s fault that you haven’t yet had a baby of your own.  Messages can be misconstrued and feelings hurt on both sides.  All relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive, so give to get.

How to Find The Right Kind of Support

The trick to getting support is to first list the type of support you need, and then identify who can provide it.  For example:

  • Someone who will listen and keep it confidential
  • Go with me to the doctor
  • Someone who’s also infertile and knows what it’s like
  • Friends I can go out with, to forget my problems
  • Cover my workload when I need time off
  • Friend(s) who won’t need an explanation or take it personally when I opt out of get-togethers and baby showers
  • Give me my injections  
  • Pass the word so that I don’t have to get into it 10 times a day
  • Friend who will rescue me from upsetting conversations
  • Help me with my food and fitness plans

Now, split your list of needs into two, under the headings: emotional support and practical support. Connect the tasks with the names of people you know. Then ask yourself a very important question: “Is it reasonable for me to expect this person to provide this support.”  Consider:

1.     your relationship

2.     their nature (sensitivity, generosity, etc…)

3.     their availability

4.     their reliability

Next, look at acquaintances in an outer layer of your life.  A colleague at work may also be trying to conceive.  You may click with a nurse at the clinic.  That other woman you always see in the RE’s waiting room may be happy to go for a coffee. A friend of a friend may have had the treatment you are considering and be happy to answer your questions. Reach out when you feel strong enough or the need is big enough. Infertility seems like a personal or sensitive subject that people may wait for you to bring up the conversation. So go for it; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

When No One Close at Hand Will Do – Infertility forums are wonderful resources for information, camaraderie and supportive conversations.  They all have a “personality” of their own, so cruise them for a few days to figure out which one is a good fit for you.  There are also hundreds of blogs written by infertile women (and a few by men) to which you can subscribe.  Again, cruise the blogs until you find an appropriate few, keeping in mind that they are the product of someone else’s personal experiences, attitude and knowledge level.  After a little while, if you keep reading and commenting on the forum(s) or blog(s) of your choice, you will feel a part of that community.  Be careful though not to take someone else’s experience or opinion as valid medical advice unless they are medically qualified.  Always check with the doctor treating you before trying anything that may interfere with or delay your chances of treatment.

Professional Support – Last, but not least, there is an advantage in having a specialist fertility coach if you are not coping well with your infertility.  The criteria to look for in a coach include training, rapport between the two of you and their ability to teach and motivate you to achieve the positive changes you are after. While coaches don’t absolutely need to have personal experience with a client’s issues to be effective, I believe that it is a genuine advantage in the area of fertility coaching. A fertility coach who has herself had difficulty conceiving, will have an authentic understanding of the emotional, physical, financial and social aspects of the fertility rollercoaster ride.

There is plenty of evidence that your state of mind can affect your fertility.  If you are overly stressed, feeling negative, comfort-eating, arguing with your partner or not sleeping, you are not creating the best possible state of wellbeing for conception, pregnancy and childbirth.  A fertility coach will look at the whole person to determine which small changes in your attitudes, actions and lifestyle will make a difference to your overall wellbeing.  From that better place, you will work together to find the best way to create and build your family. By aligning your goals with your value system, your coach may also be able to help you determine whether to undergo or continue fertility treatment, if and when to stop trying to conceive, end fertility treatment or consider an alternative path to parenting, such as egg or sperm donation, surrogacy or adoption.

In the end, it’s your choice of how open or private you will be about your infertility and that will directly affect what kind of support you receive.  Just remember support comes in many forms and from many places and sometimes must be earned. Be understanding; over time, supporters can be more or less active in your life as their own circumstances change.  Giving support is not a job description; it’s a gift.

Lisa Marsh is the fertility coach  and owner of Your Great Life in Stanmore, North London.  For more information about her, go to http://yourgreatlife.co.uk. Subscribe to her blog at http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com or to arrange a coaching session, in person or via telephone, please contact her at 020 8954 2897 or lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk

You can also follow Lisa at http://twitter.com/yourgreatlife for helpful Fertility and Miscarriage Support Tips, as well as other information about news in the field of women’s reproductive health.

My journey to motherhood and becoming a fertility coach

As I sit at my kitchen table and write this blog I am incredibly aware of just what a lot has happened over these last few years . And how , for all the noise , tantrums and lack of sleep I will never cease to be amazed that I have finally got here .That I can finally be a mum .I guess thats one of the only advantages to having had such a fight to get my family . I will never take it for granted .Change the scene to about 8 years ago and the situation was very different and in a sense  where our  journey began  . 

I had met my husband at university and always had a strong friendship as well as romantic hope for him . So it was with little suprise that we finally told family and friends that we were getting married in 1997 . We were very much in love and talked from early on about how great it would be to be parents .The summer before we officially started trying I remember being on holiday and writing a list together of our top girls and boys names for the family which lay just within our reach . There was such optimism and such hope . It was to be over so soon .We tried for a family for about 9 months before I could take it no longer and assumed there was something wrong .

I was never known for my patience and thus nearly everyone told me to calm down , stop trying so hard etc etc ….the usual . But deep down I really just wanted reassurance . And so I persuaded a doctor to do some initial tests on both of us . Fully expecting the results to match the helpful comments of friends and family . That we would be fine and to just relax more .However the results for my husband were utterly devestating . He was Azoospermic , there was no sperm whatsoever  present . The ” kindly ” doctor pronounced we would never have chidren and we were sent on our way .

And just like that our world crumbled and a new chapter began .We then went through every test we could do , choosing to use my savings rather than wait ..again that old impatience . I found out information about my inner workings that I never thought I would know . And certainly more about my husband than is common in most marriages !Finally we saw one of the top specialists in the country and were told in no uncertain terms that ours was one of the worst situations a couple could find themselves in .” If I were you mr Sizer i wouldnt put my wife through IVF but would look at Donor or adoption . You have a 1 in 125,000 chance of this ever working “To say my husband was crushed would be an understatement . And I grieved that day as Much for what it was doing to him as  for the loss of our dreams .

Over the next few weeks we re emerged from the duvet and began to talk . ..and talk ..and pray and talk . Until finally , and for no good practical reason we chose to give that 1 in 125,000 chance a go . Not good betting odds but I guess we needed to close the door before moving on .And so we started IVF number one at the lister clinic , a wonderful warm enviroment who supported us all the way , even when they felt it was a run to nothing .The cycle went badly to begin with and then got worse with the realisation that I was what they called a “poor responder ” ( how I hate that phrase !) and probably early menopausal ..just to add to the tension !!Finally however 4 eggs were obtained , my husband had a very painful op to remove the few sperm he did have and the wonderful world of science miraculously made 4 embryos .Just 3 days later 2 little bundles of potential were lit up on a screen and shown going into my womb …and so began the dreaded 2 week wait .Again we were so low on hope that I almost didnt do a test on the set date . But eventually we did . And amazingly 1 little ball had made it .I was pregnant !! 9 months of  elation and anxiety ensued until finally on April 26th 2003 our first miracle was born and Hope Sizer came into the world .We were literally over the moon to become parents and loved those early days with our new daughter .

And yet our dreams of a family had always been of two or more children .And though family and friends pretty much begged us not to keep going we entered the wonderful world of ART once again when Hope was just over a year old . The abridged version of what happened next was that amazingly , our odds actually seemed to get worse ! I was diagnosed with High FSH , and an over active immune system as well as the initial poor responder bit !  We went through 3 more cycles and two miscarriages before our final attempt at the ARGC clinic .This was to be it . Enough of the battering .And so a new regime was started ,new protocol and an immune suppresant drug for a mere £2000 extra .Two embryos put back in and …..well lets just say Barnaby sizer is a very meant little boy !

We finally felt like a family.I have done many things in my life that I am proud of and many things make me grateful . none of them howehver come close to the pride I feel personally and as a couple, in fighting for our family .It was without doubt the hardest thing I have ever done , possibly ever will do  , and amazingly it was worth it .During my time going through IVF I retrained from a counselling background , into Life coaching and began to specialise in supporting encouraging and resourcing couples through Infertility .

To come up with specific coping tools  through this most emotional of times .One of the key things I always say to people is to never belittle what you are facing . Infertility has recently been given a stress point reading akin to Cancer and Bereavement and as such a person dealing with fertility issues needs support . A new chapter has again then started for me through this work . A new chance to help support and encourage other people facing the difficulties of Infertility . Whether it is running the support group , running workshops or speaking to the media I remain passionate that people facing Infertility should be as best looked after as possible .

Best of luck to everyone reading this 

Anya Sizer

www.thefertilitycoach.co.uk     

Coping on your Fertility Journey

Fertility problems are one of the most stressful experiences to go through. What is more a lot of people do not understand what it is like for couples experiencing problems. Often couples who have been planning for a baby for years are asked “When are you going to start a family?” This can only add to the stress, particularly if the couple have decided not to tell others about their fertility challenges. What is more high stress levels are known to reduce the chances of conception so it is very important for couples to reduce their stress levels as best they can.

Mind/body techniques can be really helpful when dealing with the stress Fertility issues can bring. Meditating is great because it brings stillness to the mind relieving it of all the clutter that we tend to live with on a day-to-day basis. Regularly meditating can help to reduce that clutter at other times. If you are someone who finds meditating difficult listening to a CD of guided meditation can be helpful to start with. It’s a question of finding what works best for you.

Practicing being mindful during day-to-day tasks is also a helpful way to reduce stress. For example being mindful whilst eating means that you smell the food. Look at the colour. Be aware of the texture in your mouth. Really taste it as you chew. Take your time. You can apply this mindfulness to anything; just make sure you are using all your senses to do it.

Of course Fertility Solutions can help too. Using Theta Healing it is possible to reduce stress levels and using the Fertility Solutions Programme means you will not only reduce your stress levels but also give yourself the best chance of conceiving be it naturally or with medical intervention.

Hypnosis and Fertility

Hypnosis is a natural state that we all enter daily. It’s those times when your imagination is active, so watching a film or reading a book. If you are immersed in the story and your imagination is involved that is hypnosis. You are completely in control and free to leave it at anytime. Our subconscious does not know the difference between our imagination and reality so we can use our imagination to access the subconscious and create what we want in our lives.

Using hypnosis is a great way to address fertility, because we can access our imagination and address what is going on in our subconscious. For example we may have spent years trying not to get pregnant, our subconscious may not have caught up with our new plans to start a family so using the imagination we can show the subconscious what we really want and it can catch up. This then supports our body to conceive.

We may often have negative thoughts running through our minds, worry creating more worry and affecting our well-being. Our negative thoughts can affect our hormonal balance but with hypnosis it is possible to bring them back to a healthy equilibrium therefore supporting conception.

Fertility Solutions hypnosis CDs have been developed by Tracy Holloway (a qualified hypnotherapist and renowned fertility specialist) in order to prepare the subconscious mind for conception. The powerful CDs begin with deep relaxation; this prepares your mind for suggestion and supports you to release stress. Once you have listened for at least a week to the first CD you can move on to the next. Each one brings you relaxation and prepares the body for conception. Some are designed specifically for those who are planning to conceive naturally, others support assisted conception and there are also CDs for those who have experienced miscarriage and fear their body cannot support a healthy baby.

These powerful CDs go hand in hand with the Fertility Solutions Programme but can also be very effective in their own right.

Facing Many Crossroads, Together

Part 3:  Turning to Others for Help

You are at another crossroads in your fertility journey and neither of you wants to take a risk, so you stand still.  These decisions are difficult, but in order to progress, they must be made.  At any point on which you and your partner feel stuck, bring in additional troops. 

If you don’t feel like your discussions are going anywhere, wasting time, or you feel unsupported, you both may need help from a third party. In this case, that third party should be someone who doesn’t have a stake in the outcome and/or has not been the confidante of one of them. (Tip:  Never, never say “My parents think that you…” In-law relations may never recover.) The other half of a couple does not need to stress out about their support network taking sides. 

 Perhaps each of you will need a separate support system.

 ·         If you need more firsthand information about infertility or treatment options, one of the dedicated internet fertility forums may help. They provide a quick, constantly updated and supportive response from someone who is or was also infertile; just make sure that you don’t take medical advice from a non-medical member.

·         A support network can be created from family, friends, colleagues, other patients at your clinic, a support group that meets in your area, or anyone who truly wants you to succeed in your efforts and have a baby of your own.

·         If you think you are depressed, (look at your sleep pattern, eating too much or too little, moods and lack of self-care) ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist or counsellor who has professional experience with issues relating to infertility. 

 ·         If your difficulties are more strategic (accepting your current situation, what you want to do, how to do it, how to restore self-esteem, control and decision-making, how to communicate, etc.), a fertility coach can help you sort things out and move forward with more motivation, hope and self-belief.

If you and your partner are honestly sharing and accepting each other’s thoughts, feelings and needs, you will have an excellent chance of making it through the ups and downs of fertility treatment with your relationship intact. If, however, you are experiencing differences bubbling under the surface, this may place you at a more fundamental crossroads.

Fertility coaching for couples is a good way to bring unsaid (or poorly said) thoughts, attitudes or behaviour to light and/or resolution. 

For example, no one wants to let down their partner in such a fundamental area as family-building, but anxiety, fear, insecurity, pressure or exhaustion can affect their commitment. 

If someone is feeling trapped in a long, stressful process, it is useful to re-examine choices, goals, timetables, and cost and re-align them with their values. 

You need to face these crossroads together in order to safeguard your relationship. 

Be willing to ask for help with feelings and communication. 

Remember: if you are doing things completely on your own and it’s getting you nowhere, you have everything to gain by trying something different.

Lisa Marsh is a Fertility Coach working with people on all aspects of fertility, including female and male infertility, pregnancy loss, assisted conception, alternative means of family-building and menopause.  Visit her blog http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com or her website http://yourgreatlife.co.uk for more information.  For coaching, email lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk

New guest fertility blogger

I am delighted to be invited as a guest blogger to this site, so here goes with my blog…It is now widely accepted that our mind affects the health of our body. The way we think and feel makes a difference to our physical well-being. It is now more common to use Mind/ Body techniques to address physical health. By Mind/ body techniques I mean exploring the health of the mind to address the health of the whole person. Research has also found that Mind/ Body techniques can support fertility. Alice’s Domar’s research has found that when women who are planning for a baby address their depression their fertility rates increase.

Recent research from university of California, Berkeley found that the hormones produced when stressed suppress fertility by reducing the production of hormones needed to stimulate a healthy reproductive system. Therefore it makes sense to address stress levels to support fertility. This is a programme that supports fertility with the use of Mind/ Body Techniques. It was developed by Tracy Holloway, an experienced hypnotherapist, psychotherapist and Theta Practitioner. The Programme uses hypnosis and Theta DNA Healing to address emotions such as depression, stress and bereavement. This in turn can bring the body back into health allowing conception to occur. It is also possible to address physical symptoms such as Endometriosis, POCS, Fibroids and other female complaints. Men can deal with low sperm count or low motility with the support of Theta DNA Healing. The Programme aims to support couples on their Fertility Journey encouraging feelings of peace, releasing stress and addressing physical symptoms. The programme allows couples to lead fulfilling lives rather than their fertility journey taking control. It reconnects people to their power, which has a positive effect on all areas of their life. This support allows couples to gently shift and release issues that are known to affect fertility, giving them their best chance of conception.

New Blogger

I am delighted to be accepted as a guest blogger on this site and I thought I would start by telling you a little about myself and what’s going on at present.

My name is Sarah and I have been married to my amazing husband for four years now. I turn 30 next week and he is in his late 30’s and we have been trying to conceive for about three years now.

I always thought that I would have fertility issues as I have had irregular periods before and after coming off birth control. When I say irregular, I am talking about only one or two periods a year.

About 2 years ago we decided to get medical help and I was referred to a specialist who prescribed good old Clomid. 50mg did not work but my first dose of 100mg resulted in a pregnancy around new years last year. It sadly ended in a miscarriage at the beginning of February.

I had to wait to be referred back to the hospital and now I am back on Clomid. Suffice to say, the last couple of years have been a bit of emotional roller-coaster and I never know how I am going to feel from one day to another. I am also trying to lose weight at the moment just in case I have to go for IVF. I currently have a BMI of 31 and I need to get it down to 29. I have lost about a stone and a half but I have kind of reached a plateau at the moment and can’t seem to budge my weight.
So where has that left me now?

I have so far had two more cycles on medication. One I ovulated but did not get pregnant, the second one I did not ovulate. The last time I went to see the specialist he prescribed me 100mg Clomifene (the generic form of Clomid) and this is the unsuccessful cycle on the same strength. I know both drugs are the same. However, I am going to ask my doc if he could prescribe the brand Clomid for me as opposed to Clomifene. I am not being too anal about it. It is just that you only get so many shots with Clomid and I do not want to waste them on this generic stuff if it is not going to work!

I have one sneaky lot of actual brand clomid left over from a previous doc’s appointment. So I am giving my body a break for a couple of weeks just to check I haven’t ovulated late. I am going to start Provera on about 9th Oct and Clomid on about 19th Oct and then hopefully ovulate at the end of Oct/Beginning of Nov…. In the mean time, I will go to docs and see if he’ll prescribe Clomid instead of Clomifene.

I also want to align my cycle with the moon cycle. I am at complete opposites at the moment, and would like CD14 to align with a full moon and CD1 to align with the new moon.

Please do not hesitate to ask me anything about anything I have blogged about.. Whether it is irregular periods, provera, clomid, even NHS procedure. I am becoming quite an expert on it (lol.)

I also chart and if you are interested in looking at my latest charts, you can do so at: http://forums.ovusoft.com/chart.asp?id=Freespirit