Amy Marner’s Summer Newsletter (2012)

Life Upgrade Expanded

I had a great time on the Life Upgrade Expanded course in May.  It was wonderful to finally be able to attend and meet lots of new people (and old friends).  The weekend was uplifting and inspiring however not without it’s uncomfortable moments.  But then that’s what Life Upgrade is about; deal with those discomforts so that you can feel better, more free and in touch with your intuition.  After addressing those uncomfortable feelings I left the course feeling an amazing sense of peace, which was better than I could have ever imagined.

Since then other discomforts have surfaced as I go about my day-to-day life and I know I need to use the tools I have learnt to address those too.  Interestingly that peaceful feeling, although now passed, does not feel too far out of reach, if I keep using Life Upgrade tools I know I will be able to reach it again (hopefully for longer next time too).

Bristol Centre of Reproductive Medicine (BCRM)

I had the privilege of talking at the BCRM in June, it was a very enjoyable evening.  I met people who are going through some really challenging times, who were very inspiring in the ways that they were coping with their stress levels.  Interesting topics came up during the evening one of them being should those trying to conceive drink alcohol?

My recommendation is always to cut out drinking in order to give your pregnancy the best chance.  However if you do find yourself having a glass, feeling guilty about it and beating yourself up that’s not going to do you any good either!

My aim is to support clients to achieve their best chance of conception, that means getting mind and body in tip top condition, drinking is not a part of that.  It’s about addressing the feelings that make you want that drink in the first place (or feel guilty about having one) as there is likely to be underlying issues which need resolving.  Life Upgrade as a system is effective in addressing and resolving those issues.

Stepping off the emotional roller coaster of infertility

 sarah holland fertile mindset

I realise that you may feel in need of emotional support as you try to conceive through fertility issues. You need support that’s effective, works quickly and can bring you the peace of mind and positive thinking that you know is so vital to supporting your fertility.

Perhaps you’ve heard about how successful EFT is at dramatically reducing negative emotions such as anxiety, sadness, worry and fear. But you’re not sure how to learn it or apply it to your own unique situation, and achieve the positive results in your emotional well-being and mindset that you know would be SO beneficial.Well here’s the good news! I have developed a low cost, fast working solution to help yo u switch your thinking from negative to positive, and support you in a multitude of ways as you try to conceive your baby.I know what an emotional roller coaster it can be when you have fertility issues, and I’d like to invite you now to take my hand as a support you stepping off the roller coaster and on to a much smoother, easier to navigate path.What am I talking about? Click below to find out!http://www.fertilemindset.com/inner-saboteur
Don’t delay in clicking above and making a decision whether to sign up. There are only limited spaces available, and the ‘early bird’ booking price ends soon. PLUS if you’re one of the next few to sign up you’ll be able to grab one of the remaining chances to have a private one-to-one telephone session with me, to work on a key emotional issue for you.

I look forward to you joining me on this exciting adventure!

With love and best wishes on your fertility journey,

Sarah Holland
Fertility Support Specialist

Fertility Road Magazine Issue 5 Out Now!

Subscription SJP Cover

In this issue we have an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker and her chance for surrogacy. We’ve great ideas for that romantic getaway, a chat with Tony Reid, the creator of Fertility Friends – the biggest online fertility forum, plus news and reviews.

Also, we have one woman’s story on preserving her fertility with Ovarian Tissue Freezing, Cooking to Conceive and the lowdown on surrogacy in South Africa. There are some great prizes to be won in this issue, simply drop us an email with your details, and you could be the lucky winner of two tickets on the Eurostar to Paris.

 p.s. Make sure to put a note in your diary for the 15th and 16th April as the Fertility World Show comes to London’s Olympia. With Doctors, fertility experts and a great line up of renowned speakers including Zita West and Professor William Ledger. So if you have any questions you want answering pop on down – we would love to see you there!

 Until then, kick back, relax and enjoy our magazine…  Subscribe Now…

FERTILITY WORLD:
If you are planning to start a family but are having difficulties getting pregnant, then you must visit the Fertility World Show on 15 – 16 April at Olympia London – the one stop exhibition for all the help, advice and information you need to have a baby.

 – IVF & fertility clinics from the UK and abroad

– Talks from leading fertility experts

– Natural and complementary treatments

– One-to-one advice from fertility experts

 Seminars in the Fertility Road Seminar Theatre Include:

Maximising your chances of getting pregnant

Choosing a fertility clinic

Going overseas for fertility treatment

How the NHS can help with fertility costs

Same sex fertility treatment

The donor and surrogacy route

Fertility information resources

Natural methods to boost your fertility

 Book your FREE TICKET at www.fertility-world.co.uk

The Fertility Focus Telesummit is underway. but there is still time to join in!

The second interview of the Fertility Focus Telesummit was mine, on how “Creating an Effective Support Network Can Make All the Difference When Trying To Conceive.” I’m really excited by the response I have had, with many listeners emailing me afterward to thank me and/or tell me that what I shared really resonated with them. The Telesummit is completely free to listen to the live presentations, and the replays for 24 hours after each interview. If you didn’t know about it before, it’s not too late to get involved.

The 2nd Fertility Focus Telesummit, created and moderated by Sarah Holland, is running this week.  Twelve fertility experts from around the world, and 3 fertility bloggers, are speaking throughout the week on various aspects of fertility health and support.  Sarah started things off on Sunday, the 20th of March, with an introduction to the Telesummit and an explanation of how to get the most out of it.

Yesterday, Monday the 21st, saw the first two interviews; Dr Marion Glenville spoke on the nutritional aspect of fertility health, giving much of her hour-long presentation over to listeners’ questions and providing really comprehensive responses.  The second interview of the evening was mine, on how “Creating an Effective Support Network Can Make All the Difference When Trying To Conceive.”  I’m really excited by the response I have had, with many listeners emailing me afterward to thank me and/or tell me that what I shared really resonated with them.

The Telesummit is completely free to listen to the live presentations, and the replays for 24 hours after each interview. If you didn’t know about it before, it’s not too late to get involved.  Click here to register for the Fertility Focus Telesummit FREE!  You can listen live, and submit questions for each of the speakers, or listen at your leisure to the recordings afterward.  If you are really busy this week and know you won’t be able to listen in, OR you just want to have all 17 audio files to refer to over and over, Sarah provides the option of upgrading to a Golden Ticket so you can purchase the whole Telesummit’s talks, which will be emailed to you as an MP3 file afterward. This is an incredible value, this week only while the Telesummit is running, at US$67, including several bonuses. You can find all the information at the Telesummit website.

Because I’m a bit late in letting you know about the Telesummit and my own presentation on creating a support network, I’d like to share some of that information with you here.  Having been through several challenging years of recurrent miscarriage and secondary infertility myself, I have the benefit of hindsight telling me that I really could have coped far better if I had been more proactive about getting myself, and my husband, the right balance of emotional and practical support.  Infertility put a big strain on our marriage, and I felt very alone and fearful that I would not be able to have the children I had always dreamed of having.  We are fortunate to have come through those rough times, and to have our two children.  Using my training and experience as a fertility coach, I have developed a system to help each of my clients create a support network for their unique needs, thus easing their experience of infertility and efforts to conceive and helping them to feel less isolated and stressed.

During the call, I explained:

  • Why infertility support is so important;
  • The 5 most essential types of support every infertile person needs;
  • Why your partner is not always the best source of support;
  • How you actually create your personal support network;
  • What you can do is someone you expected to be supportive has turned out to be the opposite; and
  • How to maintain a really effective support network over a long period of time.

I’m also offering a Free Bonus to Callers from the Telesummit! I’ve created a comprehensive Worksheet that takes you through the process of creating your own infertility support network, step by step. So, if you haven’t already registered, don’t let this opportunity pass you by.

I’m listening to the other speakers throughout the week myself. I have to say, I’ve been very impressed so far. I’ve learned a lot already from both Dr Glenville and Andrew Loosely, Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist. Other expert speakers during the week include Sarah Holland on using EFT for conception, Kristin Hayward, Zita West, Gabriela Rosa, Toni Weschler, Sue Dumais, Nicola Smuts, Deirdre Morris and Cindy Bailey. Then, you can listen to talks from 3 prolific bloggers, including the authors of “From IF to When,” “Eggs and Sperm” and “Survive and Thrive.” I’m really looking forward to the rest of the week.

The Fertility Focus Telesummit

This ground breaking online event is in its second year and it’s completely free of charge for you to register and attend!  The Fertility Focus Telesummit 2011 features 12 fertility experts from around the world, including Toni Weschler, Dr Marilyn Glenville and Zita West.  Every expert will be speaking live and sharing their insights, tips and techniques to help you improve your fertility and move closer to conceiving your baby. You can listen in to all of the presentations either online or on the phone from the comfort of your home.  And you even have the amazing opportunity to ask these world class fertility experts YOUR burning questions about your fertility.

Fertility subjects featured will include Hypnofertility, acupuncture, fertility astrology, aging eggs, how to create a support network while you try to conceive, and much more.   You really don’t want to miss this fantastic event, and best of all there is no charge to listen in live and for 24 hours after each presentation!  If you’re busy and don’t want to miss out on any of the presentations (and I’d recommend you try to listen in to them ALL) there’s an option to upgrade to Golden Ticket access to the event, which gives you all the recordings as MP3 files plus over $600 of bonuses from our fertility experts for just $67!  This low price is valid right until the end of the telesummit on Monday 27th March.

To sign up right now and get access to the first presentations starting at 1pm Pacific/4pm Eastern/8pm UK time just visit www.FertilityFocusTelesummit.com

I look forward to ‘seeing’ you there!

Sarah
Creator and host of the Fertility Focus Telesummit

Proper Etiquette When Speaking About Fertility

Many couples struggling to conceive tend to keep it to themselves. They often don’t share with work colleagues, friends and even close family. Many of my clients haven’t even told their own parents. Times where they found the courage to share some of their fertility challenges, responses from others feel insensitive and in some cases feel downright hurtful. Once bitten twice shy, they quickly realize that telling others about their fertility is not in their best interest. Whether is it for fear of judgment or worry of what others might say, in time, their fertility journey becomes very isolating.

Unless you have had a personal experience with fertility challenges you can never truly understand the depths of this deeply emotional journey. How do you respond in a supportive way when you have never had issues with your own fertility? What can you possibly say to woman that has just had a miscarriage that would feel comforting and supportive? Each week I hear my fertility clients say over and over again that other people in their life “just don’t get it”. People often dismiss their worries or anxiety by responding “Just relax and it will happen”. What they don’t realize is that the psychological distress is high, making it difficult to “just relax”. A common response is “Don’t worry you can always adopt”. As if adoption was a simple and easy alternative.

Recent research has shown that for many women fertility issues can create levels of anxiety and depression equivalent to women with cancer, HIV status or heart disease. So telling a woman that she can always adopt would be like telling a breast cancer patient, not to worry she can always get another breast. Obviously you would never do that, but to a woman with a deep desire to have a baby, it can feel that insensitive.

I know that people don’t intend to be hurtful and I remind my clients of that on a daily basis. I remind them that they are not hurt by what others are saying, they are feeling hurt because of the meaning they are placing on the words that are said.

Here are some of my client’s interpretations of the comment about adoption.

“It’s not going to work anyway I might as well give up.”

“I am a failure.”

“No one believes I can get pregnant.”

“I might as well accept defeat.”

What do you Say?

So what can you say or do to be supportive? I have created a list of suggested responses to specific challenges couples face on their journey. Keep in mind that sometimes the best response is no response. Often they just need you to listen.

Click here to read more and/or to download the full article.

5 simple things you can change that may increase your chances of conceiving

Its funny how often the simple changes can bring the biggest rewards.

1) Make sure you have sex at your most fertile time .

Now this is not to say that you should only have sex at your fertile time, in fact there is lots of evidence to show the opposite. To keep the sperm supply at its best, you should have regular sex throughout the month but it is pretty crucial that you have intercourse during your fertile time (around ovulation)

How do you know when its your fertile time ? That the subject of a whole other blog post on ovulation predictor tests & methods

2) Replace your usual personal lubricant with a sperm friendly lubricant

These days many couples use intimate lubricants either for foreplay, intercourse or both. Many intimate lubricants (including saliva) in common useage are not sperm friendly ie this means the lubricant can actually impair or damage sperm-not good news when you are trying to conceive.

In the UK there are currently 3 personal lubricants on the market that have been designed especially for couples trying to conceive and are clinically proven to be sperm friendly. They are Pre-Seed, Conceive Plus and Zestica Fertility.

To find out more about fertility friendly personal lubricants click here

3) Stop your man using his laptop on his lap

It is amazing how many men spend most evenings with a laptop on their laps while watching television or travelling on a train. Laptops heat up very quickly and generate large amounts of heat that can be detrimental to sperm. The testicles, which is where the sperm are produced and stored, are outside the body because if they were inside the body the heat from the body cavity would impair & damage the sperm. When a man has a laptop on his lap it is right over his testicles and this is likely to cause overheating.

I recently came a cross a couple where the man’s sperm count had come back with a low motility count, and he was using a laptop on his lap for extended periods most nights. He changed this laptop behaviour & the sperm count and motility has improved.

4) Keep your weight at a healthy level.

There has long been  anecdotal eveidence to suggest that weight is important but now this has been backed up by clinical evidence to suggest that fertility is reduced in both overweight women & underweight women.

5) Relax-

I know its easier said than done, but more and more studies are confirming that stress can be a big factor in unexplained infertility. Sometimes the stress of trying to conceive itself can actually hamper your attempts.

Look at other areas of stress in your life and see if you can reduce or alleviate them. Consider alternative therapies which are often excellent at helping to alleviate or manage stress. Yoga and Pilates for example are great at teaching you to relax. Make a list of things that you can do to help you relax each day and make sure you do one of them each day. It can be as simple as taking a lovely bubble bath or taking a walk outside in the sunshine. You know the things that help you to relax-so make time to do them

Select the sources of your information about infertility carefully to avoid overwhelm

We now seem flooded with so many references to infertility that many of the information and resources currently available are being overlooked. Infertility and IVF have almost become ubiquitous topics in the health sections of major newspapers and monthly magazines, like weight loss, skin care and cosmetic surgery. Infertility support websites, forums and blogs abound, but even if an infertile person belongs to dozens of them, how many can they actually read and appreciate? I check out as many as 10 new infertility resources a day, and I can tell you that there is a wide range of depth and quality of the information available.

Is there too much information about infertility available now?

My first instinct would be to say “no, absolutely not!” There are women and men out there who don’t know nearly enough about the road ahead of them as they begin to wonder why they haven’t conceived yet.

Anyone who has been diagnosed as infertile and doesn’t know what to do next, where to get support or the pros and cons of treatment, has a steep learning curve. There’s also the potential of vital time being wasted as overwhelm sets in and incapacitates infertile people who need to research, reflect and agree. On top of these first-hand needs, there’s the need to promote public awareness about the physical, emotional and financial aspects of infertility; to promote sensitivity, encourage medical science, motivate regulatory change and improve access to treatment.

However, we now seem flooded with so many references to infertility that many of the information and resources currently available are being overlooked. Courses, conferences and symposiums are going begging for attendance; whether aimed at professionals or the prospective patient. Infertility and IVF have almost become ubiquitous topics in the health sections of major newspapers and monthly magazines, like weight loss, skin care and cosmetic surgery. Infertility support websites, forums and blogs abound, but even if an infertile person belongs to dozens of them, how many can they actually read and appreciate?

I check out as many as 10 new infertility resources a day, and I can tell you that there is a wide range of depth and quality of the information available. It can be incredibly confusing for the newly diagnosed or freshly motivated infertile person to encounter. How do you know who to follow, what to attend or how much validity to give to a particular expert, whether professional or from personal experience?

Ten tips for fighting infertility information overload

  1. Browse – Whether on the internet, at an event or looking through the back of a magazine, take the time to investigate all of the groups putting out information about infertility.
  2. Ask for information – One fantastic aspect of social media is being able to pose a question to the universe and get an answer. It’s like Google info + opinion in one.
  3. Go by recommendations – If you see something you like posted on Twitter or Facebook by people you respect and like, chances are that you will like the sites they like.
  4. Categorize – Balance is everything when your mind is focused on one subject: infertility. So gather and categorize resources. Ex. medical information, emotional support, infertility news, beautiful writing, humour, etc.
  5. Find the right site for your personality – If you want to share your test results down to the nth degree of detail with others who understand the numbers, find the right site for that. Others may just want to share feelings.
  6. Look at an event’s content before registering – Some of the biggest events are more about selling you treatment and travel options rather than giving you substantive information. It’s great to know about providers and get a chance to talk with them, but you don’t just want to go home with loads of brochures for the bin. Are there seminars offered at the event? Is there a Question & Answer period?
  7. Don’t join everything – One of the greatest causes of overwhelm can be too many email newsletters flooding your inbox. Instead, try bookmarking or Favourite the blogs and websites you find and go to them occasionally, until you decide how useful they are.
  8. Leave comments where asked – Give feedback after articles, on blogs, on forums and at events telling how useful, enjoyable and accessible you found them, or where they missed the mark.
  9. Support the infertility resources you do value: When you have found an excellent resource, help keep it afloat by paying the membership price, buying the entry ticket, book or magazine, nominating the blog for an award, Tweeting the link, or donating to the charity.
  10. De-clutter – If you look back a month and see repeated, unopened emails from infertility groups or blogs, take the pressure off yourself by clicking on “Unsubscribe.” You can always visit those sites and blogs if and when you find extra time.

Fight the overabundance of information and overwhelm by singling out the good resources by quality and deleting or ignoring the rest.  Likewise, if you think a particular health journalist is doing a great job, champion their efforts by replying when appropriate and posting links to their work on Twitter and Facebook. Don’t be afraid to make a comment rating the value of what’s out there on infertility. It’s worth showing a bit of loyalty to a particular source too: It’s a win-win situation.  You can develop a rewarding rapport with a blogger or a group of contributors to a forum. You may also qualify for special deals on publications and events. Your membership, visits and purchases help their stats, which raises their profile and/or brings in revenue.

Readership is everything, so if you aren’t supporting the less-than-helpful information providers, they will get the point eventually. Remember, it’s not about how much information you can take in; it’s about the quality and usefulness of that information.

Lisa Marsh is the owner of Your Great Life, which provides one-to-one and couples’ fertility coaching, educational seminars, support groups and advocacy for matters related to women’s health, infertility and family-building. Contact Lisa by email lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk or by following her on Twitter @yourgreatlife.

When to seek help

In view of the e-mail we received yesterday thought it may be helpful to run over when it is time to ask for help when trying to conceive.

The age of the woman is very important when deciding when to seek help.

If the woman is under 35 years of age

As a general guideline most GP’s will not refer you for infertility investigations until you have been trying to conceive for 12 months unless there is a medical history to suggest referral should be earlier eg previous known infertility in either partner

If the woman is over 35 years of age

In this case referral is usually much quicker as fertility in woman declines more rapidly after 35 years of age. Most GP’s would refer a couple where the woman is over 35 years after they have been trying for 6 months or more.

It is important to note that these are only guidelines and that each case is treated individually.

Ovulation predictor tests and methods

Ovulation predictor methods are many, and need not be expensive or complex for anyone with a regular cycle

Considering the last 14 days of a menstrual cycle is fixed in most women , ovulation will occur on day 14 in a 28 day cycle and day 18 in a 32 day cycle. Great if you one of the lucky ones who has  a very regular cycle, that is the same length each month.

For the rest of us with more erratic cycles the reliable prediction of the timing for ovulation gets a little more complex, so here is a breakdown of the common methods of ovulation prediction:

Cervical mucous becomes more stringy and will form ribons when opposed fingers are extended. This method is great until you have had sex in the preceeding 24 hrs and mix sperm into the equation !

BBT or basal body temperature measurment, basically get an accurate thermometer are record your temperature at a set time every morning before doing anything else. Detects a rise of 0.3 degrees centigrade at ovulation. Contrary to popular misconception you do not need a 4 decimel place thermometer and it does not have to be farenheit. What you do need is a regular regime and set waking time, so its out of the question for shift workers or the less well organised of you out there who’s days wont give up the 2 minutes you have to lie in bed with a stick in your mouth.

Urine ovulation predictors. Dip test you dip in wee and tell you when you have a surge in the hormone which makes you ovulate. Expect to use 7-10 per month especially if you are irregular or have a long cycle. Buy dip ovulation test strips as they are just as accurate as digital or mid stream test and a lot cheaperas well as being more eco-friendly (less packaging) . Only go for the very low level, higher sensitivity ovulation tests if you do not get positive results with the standard sensitivity tests. Stick with a brand if it works (there are multiple sensivities on sale and comparing results is not possible) These tests give 24-36 hrs advance notice of ovulation.

Ovulation predictor miscroscopes are simple mini microscopes which show the crystal of salt which form in drying saliva when oestrogen levels are high which occur with ovulation. Can be used time and time again, so are cheap & eco-friendly if you end up testing for a long time. Look for models with replacable batteries. Don’t expect to see anything for the rest of the cycle, it takes 2-3 cycles to get confident in using these, so best to start off using while also using another method. They are 99% accurate when combined with BBT. Can also be used in dogs and cats, so popular with pet breaders, no reason why they could not be used in pigs, horses and cattle for insemination assessment, so come on you farmers !

Ovulation predictor didn’t work ~ Don’t panic  99% is just that, but not every cycle is ovulatory either, so re-try next month. If you get no positive indicators over 3 consecutive cycles change to another method or seek advice from your doctor. Up to 1 in 4 cycles can miss ovulation, and this increases with age and is a normal physiological finding.

Click here for more info on using ovulation predictors

Finding Support for Your Infertility

How do you find the support you need for your infertility?  Regardless of how you came to be infertile or what your goal, it can be a challenge to find someone who not only empathizes with your situation, but also is prepared to be there for you on either an emotional or practical level. You may wonder why, for something so fundamental to your happiness, someone wouldn’t want to be counted in your support network. 

Why You May Not Be Getting the Support You Need from Logical Sources

  1. They believe that you must be responsible for your infertility somehow.
  2. Your partner is ambivalent about becoming a father or mother.
  3. You want to be a single parent.
  4. You are not married to your partner.
  5. You are in a gay relationship and they believe every child needs a father
  6. They are infertile also and worry they will lose you to a baby and mom-friends.
  7. It’s your boss. Doctor appointments and maternity leave will inconvenience them.
  8. People think you should be grateful that you already have one child.
  9. They are jealous of the attention and sympathy you get for your infertility.
  10. They are too wrapped up in their own life to realize you need them.

Those people may not realize they are being unsupportive. What is obvious to you may not occur to them.  An example:  your mother phoning you daily with details of her friend’s daughter’s pregnancy.  “What do you mean? I thought you would be happy for her.” Or, someone may think if you needed them you would ask and you haven’t.

They may be judgmental.  “Well if she hadn’t (pick one) a) taken such a stressful job, b) had that abortion years ago, c) waited so long or d) gained so much weight, she wouldn’t be in this situation now.” In fact, almost the entire list comes from people judging you and your condition by their own values, rather than stepping into your shoes to think what it must be like to be you.  However, you may be able to turn their attitude around.

First, look at your own responsibility for the situation and take ownership of it.  In that way, you will be less likely to assign blame, feel resentment and put other people on the defensive.

  1. Have you failed to let people know about your infertility? (Most can’t read minds.)
  2. Have you made it so much a part of your identity that you sound like a broken record?
  3. Have you not been there for them when they needed your support?
  4. Have you isolated yourself from all your friends who have children?
  5. Have you held back on congratulations toward a sister-in-law, cousin or colleague who has had a baby?
  6. Did you previously fail to show empathy toward someone else who was infertile?
  7. Do you whine too much?
  8. Have you lost your perspective?
  9. Have you made sex seem like a chore, obliterating the romance and passion in the bedroom?

If you don’t keep up your work, friendships, social or sport activities, you may become “out of sight, out of mind.” If you no longer accept invitations, people may assume you no longer want or need their company.  Though it may seem logical to you and very unfair to compare the situations, a friend who has had a difficult pregnancy or birth, postnatal depression, has a colicky baby or has had a miscarriage, may feel that you have not supported her when she needed you.  It isn’t your friend’s fault that you haven’t yet had a baby of your own.  Messages can be misconstrued and feelings hurt on both sides.  All relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive, so give to get.

How to Find The Right Kind of Support

The trick to getting support is to first list the type of support you need, and then identify who can provide it.  For example:

  • Someone who will listen and keep it confidential
  • Go with me to the doctor
  • Someone who’s also infertile and knows what it’s like
  • Friends I can go out with, to forget my problems
  • Cover my workload when I need time off
  • Friend(s) who won’t need an explanation or take it personally when I opt out of get-togethers and baby showers
  • Give me my injections  
  • Pass the word so that I don’t have to get into it 10 times a day
  • Friend who will rescue me from upsetting conversations
  • Help me with my food and fitness plans

Now, split your list of needs into two, under the headings: emotional support and practical support. Connect the tasks with the names of people you know. Then ask yourself a very important question: “Is it reasonable for me to expect this person to provide this support.”  Consider:

1.     your relationship

2.     their nature (sensitivity, generosity, etc…)

3.     their availability

4.     their reliability

Next, look at acquaintances in an outer layer of your life.  A colleague at work may also be trying to conceive.  You may click with a nurse at the clinic.  That other woman you always see in the RE’s waiting room may be happy to go for a coffee. A friend of a friend may have had the treatment you are considering and be happy to answer your questions. Reach out when you feel strong enough or the need is big enough. Infertility seems like a personal or sensitive subject that people may wait for you to bring up the conversation. So go for it; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

When No One Close at Hand Will Do – Infertility forums are wonderful resources for information, camaraderie and supportive conversations.  They all have a “personality” of their own, so cruise them for a few days to figure out which one is a good fit for you.  There are also hundreds of blogs written by infertile women (and a few by men) to which you can subscribe.  Again, cruise the blogs until you find an appropriate few, keeping in mind that they are the product of someone else’s personal experiences, attitude and knowledge level.  After a little while, if you keep reading and commenting on the forum(s) or blog(s) of your choice, you will feel a part of that community.  Be careful though not to take someone else’s experience or opinion as valid medical advice unless they are medically qualified.  Always check with the doctor treating you before trying anything that may interfere with or delay your chances of treatment.

Professional Support – Last, but not least, there is an advantage in having a specialist fertility coach if you are not coping well with your infertility.  The criteria to look for in a coach include training, rapport between the two of you and their ability to teach and motivate you to achieve the positive changes you are after. While coaches don’t absolutely need to have personal experience with a client’s issues to be effective, I believe that it is a genuine advantage in the area of fertility coaching. A fertility coach who has herself had difficulty conceiving, will have an authentic understanding of the emotional, physical, financial and social aspects of the fertility rollercoaster ride.

There is plenty of evidence that your state of mind can affect your fertility.  If you are overly stressed, feeling negative, comfort-eating, arguing with your partner or not sleeping, you are not creating the best possible state of wellbeing for conception, pregnancy and childbirth.  A fertility coach will look at the whole person to determine which small changes in your attitudes, actions and lifestyle will make a difference to your overall wellbeing.  From that better place, you will work together to find the best way to create and build your family. By aligning your goals with your value system, your coach may also be able to help you determine whether to undergo or continue fertility treatment, if and when to stop trying to conceive, end fertility treatment or consider an alternative path to parenting, such as egg or sperm donation, surrogacy or adoption.

In the end, it’s your choice of how open or private you will be about your infertility and that will directly affect what kind of support you receive.  Just remember support comes in many forms and from many places and sometimes must be earned. Be understanding; over time, supporters can be more or less active in your life as their own circumstances change.  Giving support is not a job description; it’s a gift.

Lisa Marsh is the fertility coach  and owner of Your Great Life in Stanmore, North London.  For more information about her, go to http://yourgreatlife.co.uk. Subscribe to her blog at http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com or to arrange a coaching session, in person or via telephone, please contact her at 020 8954 2897 or lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk

You can also follow Lisa at http://twitter.com/yourgreatlife for helpful Fertility and Miscarriage Support Tips, as well as other information about news in the field of women’s reproductive health.

Your Weight Could Be a Fertility Issue

Have you considered your weight as one of the possible obstacles to your dreams of having a baby? This isn’t about being fat or skinny; no judgment about your appearance is being made. Your weight can play a significant part in the ability of your body to ovulate, produce quality eggs and maintain a healthy pregnancy, especially if you are extremely underweight or overweight.

You may already have some idea about your weight’s impact on your reproductive system if you have had irregular menstrual periods, the onset of a thyroid condition or polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or vitamin deficiencies.  What you may not know is that very overweight or underweight women have a much lower chance of conceiving, even with fertility treatment. As a result, many fertility specialists won’t take on a patient who wouldn’t benefit as much from their help and/or whose unsuccessful treatment would affect their success ratings.

Many clinics will use your weight, or Body Mass Index (BMI), as criteria for accepting you as a patient.  There is no hard and fast rule on this because one athletic woman with developed musculature can weigh more and carry less fat than another woman of similar age and height.  BMI of 19 – 24 is considered normal and 25 – 29 overweight. If either your weight or BMI falls under 19 or above 29, you may encounter a delay in being accepted for treatment, with instructions to lose or gain weight before coming back.  Whether you are still trying to become pregnant naturally, or if fertility treatment is your next step and your weight is a possible issue, here are some steps that you can follow to move forward with your family plan.

Your Attempts to Conceive Keep notes, not only of your weight, but also how often you have a period and how often and when you have sexual intercourse without the use of contraceptive devices. There are books available that provide a structure for tracking essential information for fertility, but any journal or notebook will do.

Identify Your Obstacles See your doctor to identify whether your current weight is a possible obstacle to conception. You must be forthcoming about your pattern of weight gain and loss, your eating habits and any extreme dieting or exercising you have done, even if you find these topics embarrassing.  You may be tested for high or low blood pressure, thyroid function, diabetes, vitamin and mineral deficiencies and the level of oestrogen you are producing.

Eating Disorders Serious eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and extreme compulsive overeating require medical supervision, structured programs and counselling over a lengthy period to ensure and support recovery. Anorexia and obesity can both affect ovarian function adversely and bulimia is linked to PCOS, so pregnancy is unlikely, though not impossible. If you do conceive while battling an eating disorder, it could impact negatively upon the baby’s ability to thrive as well as your own health. Think about everything you eat and drink passing to the baby in your womb, though in a slightly different form. Not only nutrients are taken in by the baby, but also the high calorie/ high sugar and high fat content of your less nutritious food.

Recovery from an eating disorder can be a long and difficult process; it’s not only about what you eat, but also why you eat it that needs to be determined.  The destructive cycle of thought and behaviour has to be broken and relearned in a positive way.  The baby will be dependant upon you and require a fully present parent.

Eating disorders actually require an enormous amount of mental energy, planning the next binge, the next purge (self-induced vomiting) or how to avoid eating without anyone else noticing.  These disorders are nearly always accompanied by some degree of self-hatred. Dissatisfaction with the sufferer’s appearance, social relationships and/or self-belief fuels the fire and that brings on more irrational and dangerous behaviour.

If you think, or know, that you have an undiagnosed eating disorder, don’t waste a minute before you consult a doctor.  I am not minimizing the difficulty in admitting it to oneself; it will take courage and commitment.

Your GP can probably refer you to a specialist medical unit where counselling  and other practical assistance is offered.  There are also many groups where you can meet with people who have experienced similar disorders and receive confidential support.

Lifestyle Changes for Self-CareYour health is vital before, during and after you conceive, carry and deliver your baby.  You can’t breathe a sigh of relief upon conceiving and then let yourself go to pot.  Bad habits don’t disappear overnight, so get working on them immediately.

If your current weight is due to poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking or over-consumption of alcohol, a nutritionist and an experienced personal trainer can advise on necessary changes in your lifestyle.  This is no time for a crash diet or the use of over-the-counter weight-loss or weight-gain drugs or powdered drink mixes. Don’t put all of yourself into a weight-loss or weight-gain scheme just to win the approval of your RE, only to let it all go back the way it had been afterward.  Careless indulgence in bad habits means that you aren’t prioritizing self-care.

How fit you are will also determine how you carry a pregnancy.  Over the nine months, you may be carrying anywhere between 18 and 45 extra pounds, putting extra pressure on your skin, muscles, veins, spine, breasts and joints.  Stretch marks only mar the surface of your body, but varicose veins can result from carrying too much weight and excess blood flow during pregnancy and knee trouble is quite common in obese women.  That’s just during pregnancy.

Then comes the aftermath: life with baby.  Think about how often mothers  have to bend over, crouch down on the floor, get in and out of the car or bus, lift car seats and play cots and balance a baby on one hip.   If you were quite overweight before conceiving, and continue your poor habits, you could easily find yourself 75 to 100 pounds above your optimal weight before you give birth.

Trading One Habit for Another Keep in mind that what you ingest (not just food) during pregnancy and breastfeeding, your baby will too. Do not consider turning to cigarettes, alcohol or caffeinated, artificially sweetened soft drinks to help you avoid eating.  Nicotine and damaged lung tissue stay in your system for a very long time.  Smoking itself can cause low birth weight and nicotine addiction in newborns.  Alcohol could result in your baby being born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, which could cause low birth weight, developmental problems or epilepsy among other symptoms that could affect him for life. The soft drinks will just fill you up, make you gassy and add no nutrition relative to the volume you consume.  Since you need extra nutrients for optimal health at conception, don’t waste space on junk drinks.

Your Motivation Finding the motivation to change your behaviour should be simple because you already have a goal in mind. You want to become pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby. Use that goal as motivation to change your attitudes and behaviour.  Think of yourself as a healthy vessel for conceiving, carrying and then caring for your child. When you are on the verge of bingeing, skipping a meal or eating junk food, consider how that would impact upon your weight and health and ultimately upon your attempts to conceive.

Your Plan Bad habits take a long time to embed, so they are not going to change over night. If you and your doctor believe that you can make positive weight changes yourself, formulate your own structured plan. Write down your:

  • specific weight,
  • a realistic time frame,
  • a list of quality foods in moderate quantities and
  • the exercise you will do to boost your health and strength
  • other healthy strategies to achieving your goal weight.

Keep track of your efforts and your achievements as you move toward your goal. While there may be other obstacles to conceiving a healthy pregnancy, if you persevere, you will have eliminated weight as one of them.

Lisa Marsh is a qualified life coach in
London, UK, specializing in Fertility and Miscarriage Support. She is dedicated to educating and supporting men and women concerned with reproductive health, infertility, fertility treatment and all forms of family building.

To find out more about Lisa and her work as a fertility coach, visit her blog at  She can be contacted at lisa@yourgreatlife.co.uk  for coaching, article writing or speaking engagements.

An essential of fertility treatment

An Essential Of Fertility Treatment Is Choosing The Right Doctor For You 

A key ingredient to a positive experience with fertility treatment is a good relationship with your doctor and his/her medical team from your GP to your RE.  Perhaps more than any other medical treatment, fertility treatment delves into the most intimate areas of your life.  From your first enquiry about difficulty conceiving, you step into a different relationship with them than when you were in for general health checks.  The focus may be on your reproductive health; however, to varying degrees you are inviting them to be part of your hopes and dreams.  As time goes on, you will entrust them, from the receptionist up to the specialist, with details of your values, spiritual beliefs, the strength of your relationship, your views on and knowledge of sex, birth control, procreation, parenthood, and so much more.  You will be phoning frequently for appointments, lab tests, scans, results, advice and simply to ensure that they don’t forget your life has turned upside down. 

Depending upon your age (+/- 35) and medical history, the question of your fertility may have been completely unexpected.  Even if you are a positive sort, the threat to such a fundamental part of your being, your images of the future and your relationship may lead to thoughts such as “What’s wrong with me?”  “What did I do wrong?” or “Why us?” Hopefully, your doctor has enough experience and sensitivity to anticipate this and will explain the next set of investigations or results in a way that turns your panic into measured concern.  Actually, I might as well say it right now:  you must step forward and meet the doctor more than halfway. Leave embarrassment, shame, guilt and anxiety at the door as they will do you no good and the stress they cause may actually harm your chances of becoming pregnant. 

Infertility takes conception, which should be a natural function, out of your control. For many women, that loss of control is deeply uncomfortable, and even frightening.  I have seven years’ experience of ups and downs in this area, with a combination of recurrent miscarriage and periods of infertility.  I’ll admit to periods of pure numbness, and then heartache, followed later by many glass-half-empty tears.  My GP seemed wholly indifferent to my plight. I wasn’t offered further medical investigations, treatment or counselling.  Why didn’t I change doctors?  Somehow, while I was adventurous and outspoken in other parts of my life, I lost my voice when it was a question of my fertility. I can only conclude that, with infertility looming like a big, dark cloud above me, I felt too vulnerable to assert my needs.  

My response, as an American used to private healthcare, was to ask women friends for a recommendation, then dig deep in my pockets to pay for the services of a Harley Street consultant.  I realise that not everyone would be willing or able to cough up all their holiday, Christmas and rainy-day funds, however, if it matters enough for you to know more about your condition, overcome it and to become pregnant, do anything you can to find the right doctor for you, whether NHS or private.  A sad truth of our fertility and physical stamina is that time will eventually run out and you don’t want to have regrets that you didn’t do everything you could have to create your family.  (Yes, I am aware that a 66 year old woman has just had her first child, but seriously, do you want that to be you?). With today’s search engines, researching each fertility doctor and clinic you are considering for success rates, good standing with their professional association and the number of times they have performed certain procedures is so easy now. If you make an informed choice and use your instincts, you will be paid back with peace of mind and trust. 

So, you have reached a point where you need medical assistance to conceive.  Maybe, you have a short-list of fertility specialists and clinics within a reasonable distance (Or not. I went abroad for my IVF.)  Here are a few tips to help you choose a medical team and achieve and maintain a good relationship with them.   

  • Look everywhere (your doctor, insurance company, friends of friends, internet fertility forums, etc…) for recommendations of a good reproductive endocrinologist (RE) and clinic.
  • Think about whether you and your partner respond better to male or female doctors. This may affect your ability to talk openly and honestly, endure frequent physical examinations or trust their opinions.
  • Ask if you will always see your preferred doctor.  If not, ask to meet the other doctors before agreeing anything.  Burning with resentment at an appointment will interfere with your sense of well-being and your relationship to the staff.
  • Educating yourself about your condition makes “hearing” your doctor that much easier and takes the edge off your anxiety.  However, don’t trip over the doctor’s toes with unqualified self-diagnosis.
  • Do not be afraid to go for a second opinion. An experienced, confident doctor will understand that you have difficult decisions to make.
  • Try to identify each person as friend or foe (for instance, the dragon lady who answers the phone or guards the appointments schedule; it’s her job) and find ways to get them in your corner.  Be conscious about your demeanour; pleasant, patient and worried goes a lot further than impatient, aggressive or hysterical.
  • Be bold. In the waiting room, ask other patients if they have been happy with the medical practice and if they have any tips for you.
  • Whether you choose the most sought-after doctor in the field or someone out of the public eye, you should expect his full attention and compassion during your appointment, but understand that he may not have extra time for chatting and hand-holding.
  • The medical and non-medical staff at the RE’s office may display a professional demeanour that masks real caring. They can’t get emotionally involved with each couple. Be content with friendliness and patience when you have questions or a few tears.
  • If the fertility clinic offers counselling or coaching for your emotional well-being, take advantage of it! This may very well provide the empathy, attention and support to balance out the doctor’s more scientific approach.
  • If, after you have begun with one doctor, you are not comfortable with anything from his bedside manner to the distance from your home or workplace, find someone else.  Don’t stress out.
  • The best thanks you could give your doctor is a recommendation to other couples. Those baby photos in his office, with joyful commentary from grateful parents, are better marketing material than he could buy.  You may need your RE’s services again someday, so if you recommend him to someone else, ask them to mention it when they meet him.
  • The nurses are often there at unreasonably early hours 6 or 7 days a week to allow for patients who have to get to work. A word of appreciation or a bag of croissants won’t go amiss there either.

It is easy to be swept up in the flood of instructions, procedures, an artificially induced cycle, frequent trips to the pharmacy, lessons on self-injecting, an endless list of incomprehensible medical terms and rules of a fertility clinic.  It’s all made more difficult by the high level of emotion that accompanies infertility.  It quickly strips the “trying for a baby” of romantic ideals.  Work on feeling positive, hopeful and supported (perhaps the topic for my next blog).  Central to your fertility plan and within your control, is your choice of doctor’s practice, including his practice manager, receptionist, nurses, and professional support for your emotional well-being.  You should be absolutely convinced that you are all on the same team, wanting the same result and doing everything that can be done to achieve it.  You deserve it.

This post was posted by Lisa Marsh

To find out more about Lisa Marsh of Your Great Life click on the link below

http://yourgreatlife.typepad.com

Fertility talk while you get a manicure in USA

What a great idea! Hope this idea takes off in UK to.

Just read this great story online. The link was posted on Twitter.

DENVER — Martinis, manicures, and getting pregnant: the latest approach to talking sex and fertility isn’t happening in a doctor’s office, it’s in a nail salon near you.

Monday night, the drink of choice at Fingers and Toes nail salon in Denver was the “Fertilitini,” a non-alcoholic all-organic martini.

It’s part of a series of “Martini & Manicure” events being held across the country by the American Fertility Association

Here is link to read whole story

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/19435094/detail.html

10 things you should know before trying for a baby

Just read this article below online. Its by Suzi Godson from the Times 29/11/08

Suzi Godson is also the author of a comprehensive guide to sex book called  The Sex Book 

 I thought it might be a useful reminder.

From

November 29, 2008

10 things you need to know before you try for a baby

1. It can take about three months for full fertility to return after giving up the Pill, but some doctors suspect fertility is boosted in the first two weeks after a woman stops taking it.

2. Start taking 400 micrograms of folic acid every day to decrease the risk of neural-tube defects such as spina bifida. Green vegetables such as spinach, kale, broccoli, lettuce and peas are also rich sources of folate.

3. Clean up. Both of you need to cut out fags and alcohol. Steer clear of caffeine, Chinese herbs, herbal remedies and large doses of vitamin A as it can cause birth defects and liver toxicity. Check your vitamin supplements don’t contain vitamin A and steer clear of liver which also contains it in high doses. Also avoid raw or undercooked meat/eggs, soft cheeses and over-the- counter medicines (unless approved by your pharmacist) because they stay in your system and might be harmful if you become pregnant.

4. And shape up. Being overweight or underweight can increase the risk of birth defects or low birth-weight babies. You’ll need a complete check-up, including smears, screening for sexually transmitted infections and outstanding immunisations. Discuss your medical history and blood types with your GP and get yourself to the dentist. Pregnancy can play havoc with your teeth.

5. Know your cycle. Ovulation usually happens about 14 days before the first day of your next period. If your cycle is 28 days, with your period arriving on day one, day 14 is your most fertile day, but if you have a 32-day cycle, ovulation occurs on day 18. If you examine yourself daily, you’ll notice a vaginal discharge that’s transparent and stretchy between your fingers, like egg white, on your most fertile days.

6. Don’t become obsessed. Limiting your sex life to the few specific days each cycle when you think you might be ovulating will kill the spontaneity in your sexual relationship.

7. Instead, try to have sex every other day to ensure a continuous fresh supply of sperm (storing up sperm for longer than three days is detrimental to quality).

8. Have sex the day before you ovulate. Sperm can live for several days inside the body so making love before ovulation occurs gives it time to travel up the Fallopian tubes to lie in wait for the egg.

9. Let gravity lend a hand. Make sure he’s on top and put a pillow under your bum or practise your shoulder stand after he ejaculates.

10. Be patient. For every 100 couples having sex two to three times a week, about 30 will conceive within one month, 60 within six months and 85 will have conceived within one year.

Chlamydia-can it affect male fertility ?

I was browsing through the Times online Fertility File and found this interesting article about Chlamydia and male fertility.

It is well known that Chlamydia can affect female fertility adversely by causing infection in the female urogential tract and blocking the fallopian tubes. Chlmaydia can also be a cause of recurrent miscarriage if untreated.

Here is an extract from the article

Chlamydia, the sexually transmitted infection (STI) carried by one in ten sexually-active young British adults can make men infertile by damaging the quality of their sperm, new research has shown.

While the condition, which usually passes undetected, has long been known to threaten female fertility, scientists from Spain and Mexico have now established that it presents similar risks for men.

Men with chlamydia have three times the normal number of sperm with genetic damage that can impair their ability to father children, the study found.

Antibiotic treatment can reverse the effect, and preliminary results indicate that it may dramatically enhance pregnancy rates when couples are trying for a baby. But the discovery suggests that the prevalence of the disease may be contributing to infertility across an entire generation of young adults.

Click here to read the full article

Click here for information or to buy home male fertility tests

I Froze My Eggs-From The Sunday Times October 12, 2008

Pending Mr Right’s arrival, I had my eggs frozen. But will putting a baby on hold be worth it?

 

 

How much sex is enough sex when your trying to conceive, & when am I most fertile ?

Whenever I am trying to conceive I try and make sure we have lots of sex just before , during and after ovulation. Generally this has meant we have unprotected sex 2-3 times over a 3 day period in order to maximise our chances of conceiving.  I read that it is best to have some sperm waiting for the egg as it is released, which is why we do it just before ovulation, as well as during and after.

 I am lucky in that for most of my life I have had a fairly regular cycle of about 27-28 days and find it easy to predict when I will ovulate. This is not as easy if your cycle is erratic.

On a very regular cycle you usually ovulate about 14 days before your period is due 

ie

 if your cycle is 28 days long you ovulate around day 14

if your cycle is a very regular 34 days you ovulate around day 20

if your cycle is a very regular 24 days long you ovulate around day 10

You get the general point

 Unfortunately many of us have erratic cycles & lifestyles ! My cycle has been different at different stages of my life.

In my twenties when I was young and carefree, it was a very regular 27-28 days every month. In my early thirties (before kids) it went down to a very short but thankfully regular 24 days. It was as if my body was trying to increase the chances of me conceiving. Three pregnancies later and in my forties, my cycle is now erratic & anything between 24 days and 34 days. I don’t even bother to write it down any more. It is so unpredicable now.

Fertility Advice-when do I ask for help ?

At what point do I ask for help, is a common question amongst women trying to conceive. I have been researching this, and the common consensus seems to be, that if a couple have been trying to conceive for 12 months without success, they should seek the advice of their doctor.

 However I have also found that there are some exceptions to this-the age of the women is very significant-how long should we leave it if the mother is over a certain age and what is the age ?

From my research, the consensus seems to be, that if the women is over 35 years, and the couple have been trying for 6 months without success, it is advisable to see the GP.

If possible go to see your GP as a couple, and book an appointment for each of you. GP’s are usually quite happy to discuss fertility concerns.

Keeping the Romance Alive When Trying to Conceive

Last night I went out with a group of girls, and the talk turned to men and relationships as it often does when groups of women get together with no men, no kids and lots of alcohol. We were discussing how important it is to keep the romance alive, when you have been together for a while.

Trying to conceive can be a fun and exciting time for many couples-for many it is the first time they have been able to have sex without using contraception-the novelty of this alone can add to the romance, let alone the excitement of creating a new life. If conception occurs quickly ie within 3-4 months the whole process is fairly stress free, but when conception takes longer it can become a cause of stress and disapointment for some couples, which may start to take the fun out of it.

When I was trying to conceive my first child I assumed wrongly that as soon as we stopped using contraception I would conceive, after 3-4 months of trying I was starting to get anxious and insisted that my partner took a male fertility test (with hindsight I did rush him into a bit-but being an obliging chap he took it, and it came back normal much to our relief !) We then carried on with the serious business of making babies while having fun at the same time.

Last night my friends and I talked at length about keeping the romance alive in a relationship, and the importance of ‘dating your partner’

Plan a date with your partner ideally at least once a week-take the time to be together, just the two of you, as if you were on a date. You do not actually need to go out. We have had many date nights at home which have been just as good and a lot cheaper. Here are the some suggestions for dates:

  • Meal out in the evening-just the two of you-get dressed smartly, do your make-up etc, make it special
  • Watch a film together-choose something you both like, either at the cinema or on dvd/video. Make a proper date of it. If you have kids get them to bed first or get a babysitter if you are going to cinema. We like to have popcorn or chocolates-sometimes both but I’m just greedy !
  • Cook a meal together at home. If you have kids feed them and get them settled 1st. Choose something nice and easy to cook but that is a bit special-in our house steaks are always a favourite for a date night meal, served up with a really large salad and a glass of wine. Cooking together in a relaxed way can be very bonding. Make an effort with your appearance as you would do if you were going on an outside date.
  • Go on a walk together, just the two of you-ideally somewhere beautiful and on a sunny day if possible-really lifts your spirits, as well as being great exercise-a proven stress buster
  • Sit out on a sunny evening togther, maybe with a glass of wine-just the two of you and chat about your passions, fun things you have done together and stuff you would like to do together
  • Go to a posh coffee bar for lattes/ cappucinos-whatever your favourite tipple is, and chat and just watch the world go by together
  • Meet for lunch somewhere nice & talk about all the good things in your life
  • On a clear night go outside and stare & wonder at the stars together
  • Take up a hobby together-ideally something that you can both be passionate about-it gives a shared interest & something to you can talk about together when you are on your dates ! As they say ‘variety is the spice of life’

These are just a few of the suggestions we came up with, I’m sure you can all come up with lots more

Home fertility tests, ovulation tests, ultra early pregnancy tests, fertility friendly personal lubricants and lots of fertility products are available from Access Diagnostics UK fertility site