Positive Thinking vs. Positive Imagining

During a first HypnoFertility session I take an individual’s personal, medical, fertility and pregnancy histories which also includes their thoughts, feelings and beliefs about these things.However, I am clear to explain that none of what they tell me is ‘weighted’ in any way.  There are after all plenty of drug addicts, alcoholics, smokers, obese, older women and those who have had huge suffering in their pasts who become pregnant every day (something that I’m sure is a great frustration to them).  

The thing that I am most keen to learn in amongst all of their preparations is when they are thinking about having a baby what are they imagining?  This might seem like an unusual question but it is an important one for a number of reasons and I’ll start my explanation off by looking at the subconscious mind a little more closely.

  • It runs your body – all those things that happen without you thinking about it (heart rate, salivation, perspiration, and so on)
  • It makes appropriate changes in your body based on what it perceives as your reality
  • It doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined events. Think back to the last time you saw a thriller or a horror movie – do you remember you heart beginning to race, maybe had goose bumps, on the edge of your seat holding your breath as they climbed the stairs to their impending doom. It wasn’t happening to you – it wasn’t your reality so why was your subconscious making all those changes within your body?
  • It doesn’t understand words and so responds to the world using imagery
  • It is driven by emotion.

Therefore, whatever you are imagining your subconscious believes to be real and is making the necessary changes in your body for you to be able to function. This is OK as long as you don’t spend huge amounts of time involved in ‘negativing imagining’ (something that you may not even be aware that you are doing).

A response to my question above can often be “but I am a very positive thinker – in fact I’m obsessed with wanting a baby that is all I focus on”.  And I ask “yes, but what are you IMAGINING in relation to having your baby?”  

They may well be constantly thinking about wanting a baby but so often what they are imagining is the lack of one. This in turn creates very strong negative emotions which the subconscious can potentially perceive as some sort of physical danger and in turn shut down their reproductive system.  The subconscious then waits for them to relax and settle down indicating that all is now safe and well and so return body functions back to normal, but if the danger is perceived how do they ever reach the place of safety?

There may well be of course much deeper routed events and beliefs causing the subconscious to place them in what it sees as survival mode but becoming aware of and working positively with the imagination is certainly a huge step in the right direction.

The good news is you can stop those negative thoughts: When you become aware of a negative thought imagine a big red cross through it and say ‘stop’ or ‘no’.Physically push it away and immediately replace it with a positive IMAGE that makes you FEEL good.

The mind cannot hold two opposing thoughts at the same time (try it for a moment think of something that makes you feel sad and another that makes you feel happy – at the same time – you cannot. You can switch quickly between the two but you cannot think about them both at the same time). So all the time you are focusing on the positive image you can no longer focus on the negative one.

It does take practise – your subconscious will be comfortable with what you are currently doing. Although the more you make the effort to cross out the negative images and replace with the positive ones that makes you FEEL good the easier it will become.

By doing this you will ensure that your subconscious isn’t needlessly getting you ready for an emergency state. Instead ensuring that all body functions are working normally. Make sure that when you are thinking about wanting a baby that you are actually imagining holding that baby in your arms.

This was posted by Dany Griffiths of Tums 2 Mums

To find out more about Dany and the work she does supporting couples through Fertility, Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond… click on the link below:



4 thoughts on “Positive Thinking vs. Positive Imagining”

  1. I found this article very helpful. I do have a tendency to focus on the negative and think of all the awful things that might go wrong. It drives my husband nuts as you can imagine. Even something as simple as a car journey has me worrying & feeling stressed.

    I am making a big effort at the moment to focus on the positive and to focus on what I want and not give so much attention to what I dont want.

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